January 29, 2013 4:20 am at 4:20 am #928425
Abcd2- yeh but I am a little afraid of rabbi’s now after my awful awful experience! To give my name yeh that’s also scary I want to make sure it’s confidential 100% otherise I won’t feel comfortable (someone I know promised me onfidentiallity and I poured out my life story and what a lier betray my trust…..so I don’t trust ppl p well…) thank you or responding and really being of help but may j ask how you figured out through this that I need a “mentor” for “my life stories”….?January 29, 2013 7:27 am at 7:27 am #928426
I hope you realize the posters here(myself included) are not minimizing the feelings of mistrust and insecurity you are writing about regarding authority figures and people that should really be there to help but instead did the opposite.
It is normal to be afraid of being burned again but please,just because one/ some people made mistakes don’t condemn everyone as ill- equipped to help.
Many times we put excuses in front of ourselves such as the fear of disappointment (Other popular defense mechanisms against seeking help are I’ll be a bother , they wont help anyway,nobody knows what I really want …).
From the way you are describing things you need assistance or your choice is to remain upset and confused.
Additionally,it is natural to feel unpleasant about turning to others for help.In reality most people are more then happy to help another person in distress.
This is your life, by reaching out to seek assistance you are actually empowering yourself for the better.
2)Not suggesting “mentoring” but I promise that Asay Licha Rav & Ukine Licha Chaver was not just meant for a teenager in crisis. As mentioned above everyone in life has situations that requires consultations with Rabbonim friends doctors teachers etc…
I promise the people you consult with will view you as a valuable member of Klal Yisrael and as a person not as a case number in need of a mentoring emergency.
P.S. I will admit that(whether whom I suggested or someone else) there is a possibility that one of those people that help you through this might actually become a mentor for you 🙂
3)Focus on the positives! When dealing with a stressful situation it can take away a perspective of what is going good in life. Please try to enjoy the rest of your mid winter break.January 29, 2013 3:18 pm at 3:18 pm #928427
Abcd2- I’m just nervous that another one of these “adults” will dothe same thing icant afford that on my life!!! I’m really nervous about that.I know that you promise that they see me as a….klal yisroel…etc. But I’m really scared someone told me that last timeto!!!!!! I can’t have this anymore someone betraying my trust! And thank you but it’s a little hard to enjoy mid winter break when this is on your head/heart.January 29, 2013 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #928428
As not knowing you or the side of the story from the other person involved,I can only emphasize that these people are not nogea bidavar and will not have preconceived notions of you. However you will have to make the first step or you will just not be able to rid yourself of the issues you are dealing with.
Aside from the school issue I can virtually guarantee that with the help of Hashem The Rabbi and Rebbetzin I suggested will help restore your support base at home even if your school issue cant be resolved just yet.Additionally I suggest again to be involved in a more positive atmosphere by perhaps partcipating in OhR Naava events or at least speaking to their staff as they should be able to lift your spirits.
Most importantly if the Rabbi and Rebbetzin or OHR Naava cannot help you they will be honest with you and guide you to who can and not waste your time.January 30, 2013 1:23 am at 1:23 am #928429
Abcd2- okay so rabbi Wallerstein is a good choice?January 30, 2013 4:59 am at 4:59 am #928430
Yes I am still staying by my suggestions either Rabbi and Rebbetzin Jungreis 718 951 7770 or OHR Naava 718.647.6228(If Rabbi Wallerstien is unavailable someone by OHR Naava office should still be able to help and guide you appropriately). For the communication issues (family and with teacher) you are describing Rabbi Jungreis is an expert in this and can quickly help establish more open communication and can help make a narrowing of the divide you are describing that has come between you and your parents.(The two Rabbis could work together as well)
As I am sure you are aware hundreds of frum teenaged and married women benefit from what Ohr Naava offers whether it be nightly shiruim, hashkafa question and answer sessions or gym and kickboxing etc.. Regardless of whom you choose to help remedy your situation find out what Ohr Naava has to offer for you.January 30, 2013 11:27 am at 11:27 am #928431
Thank you abcd2, still u know a little uncomfortable. But I think I’m gna call ohr navva thnksJanuary 30, 2013 2:03 pm at 2:03 pm #928432
When I returned to class after he was gone my classmates where red eyed I asked wat happens
Why were the classmates crying?January 31, 2013 12:38 am at 12:38 am #928433
YEKKE2- red eyed (some of them) because they felt for me AND because of what the “rabbi” said about me…….I MEAN THESE ARE MY FRIENDS AND THERE HEARING A “RABBI” SAY BAD STUFF….January 31, 2013 4:27 am at 4:27 am #928434
Oy soooooooooo nervous have his class Tom don’t know what’s gna b so nervous!!!January 31, 2013 11:53 pm at 11:53 pm #928435
That’s it I wantto take this “rav” which call a rasha to bees din is that a solutionFebruary 1, 2013 12:21 am at 12:21 am #928436
no, it’s not a realistic solution. Did you call any of the numbers? They should be able to advise you or give you some ideas. Try it, you have nothing to lose and so much to gain. G’luck!February 1, 2013 4:09 am at 4:09 am #928437
I am talking to one of those ppl but not working to well he’s busy and skwl is ignoring his phone calls!! I guess therescared they shld b after treat try treat me I’m treated like a peace of dirt!!!!!!!!!
He should NOT be a “rav” he belongs to b in ?????!!!!! I don’t know whatto do he’s disgusting animal!!!!!February 1, 2013 2:02 pm at 2:02 pm #928438
Assuming this actually happened, the most likely explanation is that the man found himself thinking of this student inappropriately and, not knowing how to deal with that, overcompensated for his embarrassment.February 1, 2013 2:54 pm at 2:54 pm #928439
superme- you are 100% allowed to be upset, but please watch how you speak, there is going to far by insulting or cursing out someone. Ask the person you’re speaking to if you should speak to the principal and tell her you’ll be calling maybe. I don’t know how much anyone can do to try and make the rav apologize and i dont know if anyone can succeed if he doesnt want to apologize. Even while you work on fixing the situation, you should work on accepting it and realizing you may never get that apology. If it comes, good. If it doesnt though, you’ll be a step ahead in being past it.February 3, 2013 12:50 am at 12:50 am #928440
What can ??? ??? do – and what do you want them to do – to somebody who insulted you?
red eyed (some of them) because they felt for me AND because of what the “rabbi” said about me…….I MEAN THESE ARE MY FRIENDS AND THERE HEARING A “RABBI” SAY BAD STUFF….
Is that how teenagers work in your area? You hear somebody insulting your friend so you cry about it? Sounds like quite an immature reaction.February 3, 2013 1:51 am at 1:51 am #928441
Yeeke2- no but they basically heard him curse me out and tell them how bad I am that it hurt themand they were shocked…..O don’t understand what is immature bout that
Saysme- principals don’t care and thudded is being disgusting to me
And I’m going to far he did much worse then me aayinghes a rasha and belongs in chayrum!!February 3, 2013 5:44 am at 5:44 am #928442
superme- what was thudded before spellcheck? You are right, he may have done much worse, but 2 wrongs don’t make a right. He insulted you, dont insult him back. Be above that behaviour. I’m so sorry its so hard :(. (hugs!)February 3, 2013 5:45 pm at 5:45 pm #928443
Superme- has he physically abused you? Has someone else?February 3, 2013 10:06 pm at 10:06 pm #928444
Not the way u thinking but I did have him push the door closed on me and a principal touch me and tell me I better not start….(I was trying to explain what happened in this situation) but this is the type bring else b”H and I wld of calledcops if a/t else!!February 6, 2013 1:20 am at 1:20 am #928445
HE TORTURES ME THIS IS NOT NORMAL HE IS ON PURPOSE TRYING TO BREAK ME EVEN MY PARENTS SAY THAT!February 6, 2013 1:41 am at 1:41 am #928446
what’s he doing? are you still not going to his classes? or you are, and that’s how he’s still upsetting you?February 6, 2013 3:32 am at 3:32 am #928447
I was told by principals to go back and anything that happens he yells at me even if I didn’t say or do anything and that kid admits in class that she did it he doesn’t care ignoresit and yells at me and is keeping us 30 min late one day a wk bec he ones in late and he’s an idiot and someone asked him y and (I timed it) 5 MINUTES he stared at methen rolled his eyes 2X and continued teaching…WHAT SHLD I DO IM BEING VERBALLY ABUSED BY HIMFebruary 6, 2013 4:00 am at 4:00 am #928448
get permission from ur principles to miss his class permenently.February 6, 2013 4:01 am at 4:01 am #928449
is it a type of class that u can just miss? u and ur parents shud go tog and have a meeting w prnciples to discuss being permently removed from his class. then everyone benefits. but always be respectful when asking them cuz it always gets u far!!February 6, 2013 4:28 am at 4:28 am #928450
if he yells at you again for something you didnt do, raise your hand, wait til he stops yelling (even if he doesnt ‘pick’ you, just dont interrupt) and say, i’d like to learn, i’d like to attend class, but it is becoming very painful for me and more difficult, and i would really appreciate a chance”. dont say you, focus on yourself in how you word it. and i would go back to your parents and principal if he is still yelling at you now after this all, when you do nothing. you shouldnt have to endure this anymore.February 6, 2013 5:30 pm at 5:30 pm #928451
As i’m reading the posts here, i’m starting to have doubts about the details. This just doesnt make sense that any teacher, let alone a rebbi in a girls school, would act this way.
If it is true, ditch his class. This doesnt sound normal. And even if it might be hard, as i mentioned before – go over his lessons with another student so you know whats going on.February 8, 2013 1:27 am at 1:27 am #928452
It’s is 100% true and no stupid principals don’t let me miss the classFebruary 10, 2013 2:40 am at 2:40 am #928453
“forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace”February 10, 2013 3:04 am at 3:04 am #928454
You need to talk to the principals, call one of the many available hotlines. If not that, I doubt that this story is true. Call Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz. Why are you posting this on an anonymous website where no one can help you?February 10, 2013 3:23 am at 3:23 am #928455
t613- i’d assume for advice and support and hotline numbers. there used to be a lot of simple support on this site. search for the “attn poetry people” threadFebruary 10, 2013 3:57 am at 3:57 am #928456
Torah613613torah- u think I’m making this up?
And I wanted to see what ppl had to say on it bec principals not listening to me and can’t discuss it wothfriends it’s Loshon haraFebruary 10, 2013 4:05 am at 4:05 am #928457
And your parents?
Sorry for being so tough on you, but I need to balance out everyone else’s sympathy.
We are getting one side of a story here, since we are anonymous and as you correctly point out this would be LH if we knew the people.
However, I have dealt with issues like this where there were psychological issues on the part of the student involved. I’m not saying you have, but we should all be aware that this is a possibility.
Of course it is wrong to abuse a student, and it must be terrible to be so distressed that you do not wish to go to school. Now that you have the numbers you need, you should use them constructively rather than updating us regularly.February 10, 2013 4:16 am at 4:16 am #928458
Parents wtvr out of this pic now they dont know wat to say
Yeh talking to someone tomFebruary 10, 2013 4:23 am at 4:23 am #928459
no point getting parents involved.. gluck talking 2 the person tom!!February 11, 2013 2:15 am at 2:15 am #928460
is ur frend feeling r after speeaking to whoevr?February 11, 2013 4:52 am at 4:52 am #928461
Yeh no point purple one thank s for understanding me. 🙂
Friends rly not doing well she veryvery upset and ..yeh 🙁
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