December 10, 2010 6:21 pm at 6:21 pm #593416
I was thinking about the People’s Court wig case and I think that there is one thing that we can all agree on:
If the couple could go back and do it again, whether they were 100% right or 100% wrong, they would not take the case to television but rather leave in small claims court where it was.
And that got me thinking — I’m sure everyone here has things in their life that they regret and wish they could do over again.
So, what would it be? Is there anything that you wish you could re-do in your life? Is there any decision that you made that you wish you could change?
The WolfDecember 10, 2010 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #716194popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Opening Madoff Investment Securities. Now I have nothing to do but sit on YWN.December 10, 2010 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #716195candy613Member
wow that is quite a personal question but of course everyone has something that they wish they would have done differentlyDecember 10, 2010 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #716196bptParticipant
I wish I would have spent more time with / calling my parents when they were younger, especially my mother. Nothing bring her more joy than telling me her day’s events in detail, even if it takes 20 minutes. I know other people can talk to their mother for an hour every day, but I never mastered that level of patience.
I’m trying to do catch-up now, but thats what I’d do differently.December 10, 2010 6:30 pm at 6:30 pm #716198eclipseMember
I would undo every word shouted in anger which accomplished nothing.JUSTIFIED frustration was a test from Hashem,and outrage at horrible things HAD to be addressed,but shouting convinces no one of anything.
I WOULD HAVE DAVENED harder for superhuman strength and patience. Hashem could have given it to me.I know that now,because I talk to Hashem in plain English all the time,AND HE REALLY HELPS ME.December 10, 2010 6:40 pm at 6:40 pm #716199squeakParticipant
I would undo the time that I responded to the mod’s request to “check your email”December 10, 2010 6:40 pm at 6:40 pm #716200WIYMember
We all have things we would like to redo, but in all honesty, we become who we are because we have made mistakes. Making mistakes is part of life, whats important is that we learn from them and dont repeat them.December 10, 2010 6:43 pm at 6:43 pm #716201SacrilegeMember
The list is so long…
But *gasp* I agree with WIY.
If you keep focusing on the past, aside from going insane, you cant move on with your life. You need to forgive, forget, LEARN and move on.December 10, 2010 6:49 pm at 6:49 pm #716202eclipseMember
Moving forward,people confide in me because my flaws keep me 100% nonjudgmental.December 10, 2010 7:00 pm at 7:00 pm #716203AinOhdMilvadoParticipant
If we have avairos in our past, of course we should have charata and do teshuva for them.
Regarding “wrong” choices in our life, I think that, after the fact, those things were probably meant to be, and when, at 120, we get to the olam ha’emes, and have a better overview of our entire existance, we will see that those choices perhaps were not wrong after all.
Remember, even things we did “wrong” can teach us lessons we might not otherwise have learned.December 10, 2010 7:05 pm at 7:05 pm #716204
Since others shared and I started the thread, I suppose it’s only fair for me to contribute:
I regret many things, but probably one of the biggies is that I refused to speak to my father for three years. While we still have a good relationship today three decades later, I can’t help but feel that it would be much different had I not made that decision long ago.
The WolfDecember 10, 2010 7:13 pm at 7:13 pm #716205WIYMember
Twice in one day?! Uh Oh…December 10, 2010 7:14 pm at 7:14 pm #716206
If we have avairos in our past,
Not everything one might regret having done is an aveira that requires teshuva. I wasn’t necessarily looking to start a “confession” thread.
The WolfDecember 10, 2010 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm #716207cshapiroMember
live and let live….
how about instead of minding everyones business, we focus on self improvement, nobodies perfect so why is everyone so judgmental?December 10, 2010 7:45 pm at 7:45 pm #716208TheGoqParticipant
I regret waiting so many years before going into therapy the four,five years i spent going to therapy changed my life in a very positive way i didn’t do it earlier because of the stigma, my therapist who is frum, made me believe in myself when no one else did, and although i haven’t been in a couple years what i learned stays with me and i will forever be grateful for his help.December 10, 2010 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #716209Peanut ButterMember
I agree with WIY.
I have done things I wish I hadn’t, but I grew from it. I used to be down because I messed up ect, but then I realized I can grow from each experience, and BH I do.December 10, 2010 8:09 pm at 8:09 pm #716210oomisParticipant
I would take the extra ten minutes(even if I would be pressed for time to get to work on time), to swing by my parents house with the kids one last time, on the day that my father was destined to suffer an unexpected, fatal stroke. At least my children would have seen their Zaidy once more. We were only around the corner from my parents’ house, but I was anxious to get home and change into cleaner clothing after a day of running around with the kids. I will never be able to fully forgive myself for depriving them of that last time with him, because once he was taken to the hospital, it would have been too scary for them to see what he looked like and I didn’t want that to be their last memory of him. I wish I could undo that day.December 10, 2010 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm #716211Dave HirschParticipant
Believe me. You don’t want me to start listing everything I’d wish to undo (good and bad), there’s no room. Do you really want me to fill these pages till capacity?December 10, 2010 8:47 pm at 8:47 pm #716212cofeefanMember
i have so many things i wish i could do over i cant even begin to tell everyone here!December 11, 2010 11:24 pm at 11:24 pm #716213cofeefanMember
…..beginning with eating all those donuts over chanuka!!!December 11, 2010 11:39 pm at 11:39 pm #716214
Believe me. You don’t want me to start listing everything I’d wish to undo (good and bad), there’s no room. Do you really want me to fill these pages till capacity?
I think we all have multiple things. I know that I do. I just picked one. Go ahead and pick one.
The WolfDecember 12, 2010 12:56 am at 12:56 am #716215aries2756Participant
I don’t believe it is productive to dwell on what you could do over, however it is productive to know how to do things differently the next time a similar situation arises. So if you didn’t spend enough time with a parent in the past do so in the present, if that is not possible, do so with an in-law parent or an elderly aunt or uncle. Teach someone else that too late is just too late.
This doesn’t just apply to parents. If you distanced yourself from your children for whatever reason, even if you were right and they were wrong, don’t stand on ceremony and kovod, remember life’s too short and find a different way to bring about a different outcome. Value the opportunity to put it in the past and build a better future. Find new ways to handle old situations to make life better and happier. After all would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? Many times you just can’t have both.
We all have our fair share of regrets, but rather than dwell on regrets turn them into opportunities to do better.December 12, 2010 3:25 am at 3:25 am #716216ronrsrMember
>>>Opening Madoff Investment Securities. Now I have nothing to do but sit on YWN.<<<
dear popa, I was aware they do have more computers in prison these days. I hear they first remove the ESCape key.December 12, 2010 4:04 am at 4:04 am #716217aries2756Participant
cute, but i shut heard some really bad news about Madof’s son and I think it is very sad that he took his own life because of his father’s misdeeds. He leaves a wife and two children who will have to deal with his death and the reason’s why he chose to end his life. What a sad legacy his greed has caused his own family.
The choices we make do not only effect us but they will effect our children and future generations so always choose try to choose wisely.
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