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Sometimes someone will be going around collecting and I will only have a $5 $10 or $20 and I only want to give .25 but feel bad because I made him bother with changing up the bill (especially if he is an older person and he had to rummage through his pockets and put together change) and therefore I will give a $1. But I wonder, am I right for feeling bad and should I give the $1 despite not wanting to or is it ok to ask for change and only give a quarter? Also, Im not rich and I give maaser…
I have the exact same problem. Sometimes I end up giving a dollar while other times I decline giving. Especially if I am in middle of davening.
What I have done recently is get rolls of quarters (from any bank or the gabbai at Shomer Shabbos) that I keep in my Talis bag.
I know this sounds nasty, but I have been forced to take a different position about the collectors in shul. Assuming they already davened, I was not there to disturb them during davening. I believe I am justified to claim the same courtesy.
Today, the desperation for funds is so great that some of these collectors are willing to violate the basics, by insisting on collecting during parts of davening where one may not be mafsik, by insisting that one give more than they wanted to give, and by shortchanging (“I only give $18 change for a 20, because it equals chai”). Some fail to get permission from the Rov or gabbai to speak after chazoras hashatz to make their “sales pitch”.
One can certainly continue to give tzedokoh at the same levels as before without rewarding these collectors who are bothersome. I say this fully aware that HKB”H sends these opportunities to us to test us. HKB”H deals with us midah kineged midah, and gives us in a manner similar to how we give others. I do feel bad for those who are stuck stooping to collect donations from others. I do not envy anyone in fund raising, nor do I have opinions how to do it successfully. I do know what offends me.
Some time ago, I offered $1 to one of these collectors who insisted on a much larger donation, which I simply could not afford. He handed me back the $1, and refused my efforts to give it to him again. I allowed him to see that I was placing it in one of the pushkas in shul, since I had already designated it for tzedokoh. I feel for him, but that does not place money in my possession to be available for tzedokoh.
I mourn the loss of chashivus of this precious mitzvah.
Carry rolls of Quarters. There is a Rabbi Bender story about that as well.
Being that our pushkas (not the ones from organizations, rather a decorative one or one that a child made in school) just fill up and overflow until we decide on a place to give the money to, i use the money from the pushkas to give to collectors at the door. I have a fear of answering doors to strange men but i know that if someone is knocking on doors, they must be desperate too.
To miritchka: If someone is knocking on your door, he might be desperate, or he might be a criminal looking to harm you. Your fear is well-grounded in the real world. There are plenty of opportunities for tzeddakah that do not require you to put yourself at risk.
I agree, I give the $1 as well feeling bad for the collector. I feel even worse when the next collector comes over and I give him $1 and ask for change… maybe one day I’ll be able to afford $1 for everyone. Hopefully all of you will be able to afford it as well!
What is the Rabbi Bender story you are referring to?
What other Rabbi Bender stories are there?
zed: thank you! I’ve only recently started giving to collectors when my husband isnt home. But there are certain measures of precaution i try to use, such as putting something by the door so that it wont open more than a few inches-just enough for me to stick the money outside, only when it is light outside, when my tenant is home…
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