When do you tell…

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  • #607669

    Poster
    Member

    When do you tell your parents that you are expecting? How about siblings? close friends?

    #917687

    greatest
    Member

    Parents at the 2nd month.

    Siblings at the 4th month.

    Close friends at the 6th month.

    #917688

    farrockgrandma
    Participant

    After you tell your friends in the coffee room, of course!

    You can savor the news in private for a short time, parents should be the first to share the excitement. Your close family and associates should hear from you before anyone can guess from your condition or appearance.

    #917689

    squeak
    Participant

    Before you tell us 🙂

    #917690

    myls87
    Member

    According to Rebetzin Kanievsky A’H and quoted in her book, if you know your parents would daven for you then it is a mitzva of Kibud Av Vaim to tell them immediately and one is over the mitzva by not doing so.

    #917691

    mercury
    Member

    well i kinda freaked out/panicked so i pretty much told my mother the same day i found out. thats not usually the norm. my husbands side found out sooner then i wanted because unfortunately i could not attend a family levaya at a cemetary so people kind of figured it out. otherwise you should wait till after the first trimester. thats when i told my siblings (my mother kept it a secret) once your telling people anyway i dont see why you have to wait till the 6th month to tell friends especially if your showing at that point. my husband has not told a single friend yet. he doesnt see the need as they are men and theres no need for them to know. also because in my 8th month i am still not noticeably showing so he doesnt see why telling them will make a difference. eventho they see me, they dont know becuase im very small. but with my friends i told them starting in my 4th month. since i got married older they all have babies and kids already so i asked them for advice and different pregnancy symptoms they had so i knew what i could possibly expect. also, if your not feeling well its better to tell people earlier then later, like a boss or other people you work with for example and they will be more understanding. anyways wishing you much hatzlacha and if you interested,i have a baby post going on now in the coffee room with important things you might need.

    #917692

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    You tell them via the CR.

    #917693

    hershi
    Member

    The most important point is to make sure that your mother-in-law knows as soon as your mother knows. One should NOT get preferential treatment in knowing sooner than the other. Otherwise, you have a recipe for disaster.

    #917694

    2scents
    Participant

    I think that there is no rule to this, it really depends on your relationship and openness you have with your parents.

    #917695

    Poster
    Member

    2scents, I didn’t ask “when SHOULD you tell” I asked “when DO you tell”. I know everyone is different so I am curious as to what different pple do.

    #917696

    uneeq
    Member

    My Rav holds to wait (if possible) until after the first trimester before telling anyone, parents included. He mentioned that it has something to do with ayin hora or whatnot.

    #917697

    postsemgirl
    Member

    If you have more than one sibling… make sure they all find out on the same day.

    #917698

    haifagirl
    Participant

    My friend’s daughter was on bed rest very early in her most recent pregnancy. My friend moved in for a few weeks to help out. Pretty much the entire world knew.

    #917699

    squeak – you took the words out of my mouth

    #917700

    Parents- right away.

    Everyone else- when it starts becoming obvious.

    #917701

    MorahRach
    Member

    I told my mom at 9 weeks my dad and in laws at 12 weeks and by then I had started to show, people at work were actually asking me. Whatever is right for you there is no fast rule on this.

    #917702

    stanleyc
    Member

    Parents- by the bar mitzvah

    Friends- dont tell them, when the ask you if youre expecting get offended.

    #917703

    miritchka
    Member

    I tell my parents after my first dr. visit. I tell my inlaws around the 3rd month, sometimes later if i’m carrying smaller. (In laws cant keep their mouths shut…) Siblings, similar to parents and inlaws due to the same issue.

    I dont feel that you have to tell friends. They’ll find out when they find out and thats it. I may hint to it when i’m talking to them, for example “I’m moving into my parents for pesach because it’ll be easier for my situation”. Something along those lines, but i dont tell them outright.

    #917704

    yentingyenta
    Participant

    when my mother was expecting my youngest sibling, my parents told me when my mother was about 4 months, my other siblings when she started showing.

    my close friend told me when she was 2 months along. ok, it wasnt outright. she hinted to it in a kinda obvious way.

    it depends. thats basically it.

    #917705

    Ayin Hora.

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