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Love when random strangers come over to you “oh I think you’re good for my brother/neighbor/etc.”
I’m like “you don’t know me”
Are girls willing to date like that: boy + girl =
This mod is wondering whether you are a troll. -127
I think it’s ridiculous when people try this on me. I would never listen to such a thing. Once I even told the person incredulously how can you redt me a shiduch when you don’t know me and only chatted with me a few minutes?! These people just don’t think about what they are doing.
Although I believe strongly that we do not know from whence cometh our zivugim, in this case I would be a little more inclined to err on the side of caution, and try to get to know the random stranger better (or at least try to find out about him/her). If I were single, I would not give my contact info out to strangers, unless it were within the framework of a shidduch event. And even then, with caution.
I’d be pretty creeped out if someone tried to “ship” me with someone at random like that, especially if it’s someone who barely knows me. I’m not a character in a fanfiction – I’m a real person, for goodness’ sake! You can’t just write out a “character” if the match you just tried to set up fails epically! (And there I go speaking nerd-style.)
Personally, I would only set up people if I knew they’d honestly have something in common; otherwise, I wouldn’t try to meddle with someone’s personal life like that. And, of course, I’d only say anything at all if they tell me they want my advice.
I’ve done it, but only when solicited. I did think it was a little weird that someone I barely knew posted publicly in an online forum that she was looking for a shidduch for her friend whom I didn’t know at all, but obligingly I suggested my cousin, whom I know well, based on the description she gave (she provided her e-mail address, so I could do it without broadcasting my cousin’s details to the whole Internet world). I don’t know if anything ever came of it. I assume that the friend in question had asked for her to make inquiries; I would never have gotten involved if I suspected that this person was not open to random suggestions.
Since you don’t know whence thy Shidduch is going to emerge from, you owe to thyself to investigate every suggestion & offer that pops up; Because how will you feel, if in the end you never get married & after 120, you are shown that this suggestion had been the real 2nd Half of thy Neshomo?
In this same vein, don’t turn down anyone plausible that comes up even on a computer on a Jewish dating site.
hello, whats your name?? Mmhm and what are you doing? How old did you say you were? Ohh i’ve got the perfect shidduch for you!!
Uhhh literally 100 seconds after you’ve first laid eyes on me?? And yes i know that him and him and her and him all got set up to someone you met only 60 seconds and all are happily married now. But what about the other 100 hims and hers who agreed to look into it and wasted their time and emotional energy?
I believe the current atmosphere seems to be, “Oh, you’re a Frum Jewish single boy aged X-Y? I know a Frum single Jewish girl in that same age group. You should date!”
If they are Yidden, they are certainly not strangers. If why shouldn’t people try to “set you up” assuming you are single, frum and have no serious defects (such as antlers, tail, or antenas). If you don’t like the attention, get married, and then you won’t have the problem.
Akuperma
Good one.
akuperma- yeah, thats their thoughts exactly! Btw brother, could you lend me $10000?
Perhaps the OP and her like minded posters would do well to consider the last mishna in Taanit and related gemara. (why a girl would want to learn Talmud thread ha ha)
The fifteenth of Av AND Yom kippur were joyous days due to the flush of clenched shidduch deals. ( young ladies would dance in the vineyards and the young men would say “that one please”). There did not seem to be a shidduch crisis, and “you don’t know me” and randomness, or weird did not seem to matter much. It is interesting that the Mishna has it as “Bnos Yerushalayim, (those naughty Jerusalmites!) and the gemara has it as a general custom, Bnos Yisrael.
It obviously does work sometimes because there are people married out there who were just “set up with boy x” by someone who only saw them once.
I think it’s even worse when really good friends say “I was talking about you with my random friend that never met you and she has someone perfect for you! Oh, he’s like way older than you and isn’t looking for the same thing as you… you interested?”
like, what???
What are the chances you have a common acquaintance with your future spouse? I’d say pretty low. It makes sense to rely on strangers.
hodulashem – totally agree! you would think your close friends would have a little more courtesy, but they dont 🙁
popa_bar_abba – I agree with you as well, if a random person sets you up with someone, it may end up working out, but there has to be some shaychus between boy x and girl y. It can’t just be, oh you are a female, and you are a male, let’s put you together to waste time.
It is certainly logical that close friends and relatives would have a better chance at setting people up successfully, but in my family the exact opposite was true. Two of my children’s shidduchim came about through near-strangers. Just goes to show that it really is siyata dishmaya!
Truth be told, even close friends and relatives often set couples up for reasons that have very little to do with future compatibility – like height!
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