when to tell parents that you are expecting

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    i wish i would have been guided before i got married as when to notify parents that you are BEH expecting a baby, can anyone help??

    Shopping613 🌠

    most people say at the third or fourth month. for the first baby some wait till 5th or 6th..

    from Long Island

    There are so many variables. First how close are you to your parents? Inlaws?
    Can they be trusted to REALLY keep a secret if you ask?

    As the mother, of course, I want to know as soon as possible, BUT, I understand the need of discretion, when my children are not ready to share the news.

    Most wait until after the first tri-mester. Many wait longer for a various reasons. ie: a prior lost pregnancy, a yenta mentality on behalf of parents, you don’t show yet and you and your husband want to keep this wonderful secret to yourself.

    I often know way before I am told, but I say nothing until they say something to me. I think this is a very very private issue and you and your husband need to what whatever makes you feel comfortable.


    I’m shocked that you’re telling this to all of us here before you told your own parents!


    I’ve written in the past that we had our twins through fertility treatments. Unfortunately, one of the issues we encountered during those treatments was miscarriages. My wife had a few of them early in the pregnancies. Due to that, we didn’t tell ANYONE what was going on, with the exception of our Rav (since fertility treatments can bring up all sorts of interesting shailos). When the doctor told us that we were mostly out of the “danger zone”, we told parents. It was towards the end of the first trimester. We waited a bit longer to tell siblings.
    My brother told me that he and his wife told parents as soon as they got a positive pregnancy test.


    I was told by my kallah teacher to tell my parents right away with the first pregnancy but it’s okay to tell later on with the others since parents are worried at first that about potential fertility problems. I’m actually glad I told my mother right away; this way I had her support when I needed it most.


    When should husbands tell their father about the pregnancy? Before the mother-in-law is told?


    Maybe Joseph has the minhag hamakom on this subject. Joseph is the minhag hamakom different on 13th av then say ocean pkwy regarding this most sacred secret? How about in lakewood. Maybe the south side of lakewood had a different minhag hamakom then north lakewood.


    I agree with onevoice. I was told the same by my kallah teacher.
    What about the opposite? When should inlaws/parents share news with their married kids? It is something that is more common in the past 10 years or so.


    Are you asking when should you tell your married daughter that your expecting a new sibling for her? What if Mom and daughter are pregnant at the same time?


    About the same time as you would tell an older single kid usually works, but if you already know that your child is expecting, you should tell right away.


    I asked our Rov when to tell our parents when I was expecting my first. He said right away, to give them some nachas. I agree about not wanting them to be worried about fertility issues (can totally understand DaMoshe also). When my daughter was not coping well with the nausea is when she and her husband told me (on strict secrecy from anybody else).


    My parents taught us not to tell anyone, including them, until the end of the first trimester.


    Is the secrecy to prevent ayin hora?


    …tell my parents right away with the first pregnancy but it’s okay to tell later on
    with the others since parents are worried at first about potential fertility problems.

    Is the window before people worry about fertility problems so short now?

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