Where are all the Boys?
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- This topic has 54 replies, 21 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 5 months ago by youdontknowme.
December 16, 2009 3:23 pm at 3:23 pm #670040justin2Member
None of my friends (including the ones that are now married) that I know of ever attended a singles event. The reason is/was because single events have a stigma for being “loserish” (This does not mean that everyone who goes to a singles event is a loser). A guy would rather not go to one of these events than to swallow his pride and attend one. (This includes plenty of guys who do not have lists and lists of girls. Contrary to popular thought in theyeshivaworld forum, not every guy has lists of girls to go out with).
Furthermore, I find it hard to believe that there are only 60 single boys left in the world. So the lack of boys attending these events is not because there are no single boys.December 16, 2009 3:36 pm at 3:36 pm #670041jewish and working 22Member
I agree with 100%. The only time I went to a singles event, the boys who have been going to these things just sat around and made fun of the girls. Or they were ogling them like pieces of meat that were on display (which technically the girls were).
I have never gone back to an event again. I have no want for the girls to be put on display. I’d rather see a girl in a social setting where she is not trying to impress people and therefore I get to see the REAL girl.December 16, 2009 3:42 pm at 3:42 pm #670042jewish and working 22Member
I know you are a big proponent of the age gap theory so I would not try to convince or debate you regarding that topic. However, you have to agree that the age-gap theory is not the answer to every shiddcuh disproportion. Personally, I agree with Justin2 that us boys d not want to get involved in single events.
Also, as I and others stated elsewhere, a lot of boys do not like dealing with shadchanim or the shiduch process.December 16, 2009 7:47 pm at 7:47 pm #670043AZParticipant
You are correct. On the micro level each person is a individual and has to be dealt as such.
HOWEVER, if people want to know why there is such a imbalance of numbers in the dating scene that is primarily due to age gap. In addition such a imbalance of numbers creates untold havoc aside from the girls having minimal dating opportunities. It is not good for the boys either. Having to many choices is not always a good thing, but I’ll stop here.December 16, 2009 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #670044youdontknowmeMember
“Where are the boys??? MARRIED!!!!!!”
HOPEFULLY every time a boy gets married a girl gets married as well. I understand how the age gap crisis supposedly works but I think it’s wrong to look at a shidduch between a couple that are not close in age as part of the problem.
As far as singles events go, I agree with Justin and I have no interest in ever attending one. It seems to me that there are plenty of single boys out there and that the Shaddchanim are just not doing a good job at dealing with them. If the boys get desperate they will go back to the Shadchan but not if they have other options.
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