February 14, 2013 12:28 pm at 12:28 pm #608208
Golders greener and chicken pulka arrived late in school. They were met at the door by rabbi corn… aka voldermort, who thundered at them for coming late and told them to remove their shoes.
They meekly untied their shoelaces and took their shoes off, while voldermort waved his wand and sent the shoes straight to his office. With a second wave of his wand he created a spell that would prevent their feet from wearing shoes during school hours for the rest of the school year.
Voldermort then ordered to climb up a rope. Golders greener looked down at his feet, in thin gray ribbed socks, bit his uppper lip and held in the tears, and proceeded to climb. No amount of climbing, however, would bring them to the top, since voldermort had cast a spell that caused the rope to grow longer with every step they took.
Eventually voldermort/corn.. grew tired of this game, and allowed them to come down. “Now it is time to cut off your hands, as Popa has decreed” he told them with an evil smile.
By this point golders greeener could no longer hold in the tears, while chicken pulka was long crying.
“I thought that all these stories were exagerated” cried chicken pulka.
“I am a million times worse than anything you have ever heard about me” snickered voldermort/corn…
“I will no longer be able to tell of your evil ways in YWN coffeeroom.” said goldersgreener, while rubbing his painfully bruised feet aginst each other. “You will lose much of your fame.”
“That would be a pity” agreed v.c. “However Popa’s magic is powerful that even I cannot prevent it”
“You could suffice with cutting our fingernails” suggested chicken pulka.
“Very well,” said Voldermort/corn… “If you tell me a good moshol and nimshol i will suffice with cutting your fingernails.”
Golders greener waved his wand and shouted “accio Shoe store assistant”.
In the meantime shoe store assistant [hermione] was in her shop, fetching two pairs of size seven weekday shoes. She suddenly found herself being liften in the air, and with a great big whoosh, flown accross the atalantic ocean, to face the evil Voldermort/corn…
Shoe store assistant then proceeded to explain to voldermort her mosholim, and voldermort sufficed by cutting the boys’ fingernails.
Shoe store asssistant then realised that the boys were in socks. “would you like these shoes that i am holding?” she offered.
“Rabbi corn… cast a spell upon our feet” the boyus snivelled.
“That is no problem. Once I measure your feet and decree what size they shall be my shoes will fit them.”
Once shod, the boys continued to theri classroom. “You’re wearing muggle shoes snickered Malfoy, from accross the aisle. “You will not be able to play quidditch in those”
“What will we do when we have Maddern[snape] for sports?” Chicken pulka asked goldergreener. “Our feet will not be able to wear sneakers.”
(to be continued)February 14, 2013 12:57 pm at 12:57 pm #993817
Shoe store assistantMember
Thanks ybt. I’m working on getting them sneakers.February 14, 2013 2:24 pm at 2:24 pm #993818
Keep working on it, SSA.
The serial is supposed to be continued by the readers.February 14, 2013 2:26 pm at 2:26 pm #993819
A short while later shoe store assistant came rushing back, tears streaming her face. “I went back to Diagon Alley, but couldn’t get back to my store, someone blocked my driveway”, she sobbed. “And, to add insult to injury”, she continued hysterically, “They smashed my shop windows. Who would do such as thing?”February 14, 2013 5:10 pm at 5:10 pm #993821
Rabbi Corn… was sitting in the prinicipal’s office in the PH school, dreaming of further ways to torture his boys, when a sharp bang on his door brought his attention back to his surroundings.
“Rabbi,” Malfoy burst in. “Golders Greener and chicken pulka are wearing muggle shoes”
“They’re not wearing any shoes” responded voldermort. “I’ve cast a most brilliant spell upon their feet. There is no one who can undo it – unless Popa was involved.”
“I think it was someone called shoe store assistant from the US.” responded Malfoy.
“Garbage. How would she have known about platform nine and three quarters? How did she get here?”
As soon as Malfoy left the room, voldrmort googled shoe store assistant, his rage boiling inside him. When he found YWW coffeeroom, his rage only increased. Why popa’s magic had cast it’s way here too. His body shaking with anger, he immediately deleted as many of her threads and posts as he could find.
In the meantime, snape/maddern has called the poor boys together for their sports lesson and told them to remove all their footwear, and then hop around the yard.
(to be continued)February 14, 2013 5:31 pm at 5:31 pm #993822
But of course, after their sports lesson was lunch time, followed by mincha.
“Rabbi,” the boys addressed him, “I am pretty sure that there is halacha about not being able to daven without wearing shoes. That means that we cannot make a bracha on our food, and neither can we daven mincha, or even learn Torah, please, at least allow us to wear our shoes when we are doing all the above. If you really got credible smicha, you would never give us that type of spell. You can go to gehenom for that.”
Rabbi Corn responded, “That is a very good point. However, for me to take off the spell would mean all of us going to gehenom… so I would rather not.”
(To be continued…)February 14, 2013 6:12 pm at 6:12 pm #993823
your story needs some Tonks ^_^February 15, 2013 9:31 am at 9:31 am #993824
That night, the boys used their invisibility tallis to sneak into the dungeons to find their shoes. When they got there, they found a senile old man in turquoise robes signing his loopy signature on their shoes.February 15, 2013 9:35 am at 9:35 am #993825
“What are you doing to our shoes?” They asked.
“I have to sign purple shoes every day for 40 days to get my memory back” he responded.
Suddenly, from out of nowhere appeared a woman with spikey purple hair…February 15, 2013 9:39 am at 9:39 am #993826
“Scourgify!” She shouted, pointing her wand at the signature on the shoes. The loopy signature blurred a bit but was not washed away. “Oh, well. I was never good with those kinds of spells. You will have to put them on and walk around the lake 40 times while carrying a ram in order to get those signatures off”.February 17, 2013 12:05 pm at 12:05 pm #993827
But before the boys could even think about walking around the lakes, malfoy appered. He stamped down loudly on their unshod feet with his nailed boots enjoying heraing the creaking sounds of their bones as they bore his weight.
Even as he had his foot on golders greener’s the woman with spikey purple hair waved her hand towards his feet, and shputed Accio shoes. For asecpnd malfoy found himself in his stocking feet standing on those of goldersgreener, but she soonshouted waved her wand a second and shouted accio feet, and malfoy saw his feet slip away from undeer him while he was left dangling in mid air.February 18, 2013 8:42 am at 8:42 am #993828
I stood there drionking in the sights and sounds far too amazed to speak. In one corner stood malfoy’s shoes, a simple pair of clark’s shoes with two velcro straps, in yet another stood his feet in their navy socks, our own shoes lay in the middle, while the old senile man had resumed scribbling over them with his purple ink, the lady waving her wand around with various incantinations which didn’t seem to work, and malfoy dangling right in front of my nose.
I was really too amazed to act, too paralyzed to even think, but chicken pulka pulled my sleeve. “Let’s take our shoes and get out of here”
We ran out, and excaped up the steep stones stairs, our invisibilty cloaks covering our tracks, and we only breathed after two floors, when we stopped to put our shoes back on.
In the meantime, shoe store assistant was calling cornhauser/voldermort to court for deleting her thread from YWN coffeeroom.
(to be continued)February 19, 2013 12:39 pm at 12:39 pm #993829
Shoe store assistantMember
Goldersgreener ran a few more steps when suddenly, the boys realised, to their dismay, that they were only a few steps from the bottom.
It took them only a short while to realise that if they were wearing shoes then popa’s magic would cause that for however long they run they would get nowhere. Reluctanlty they took their shoes off again and restarted running the 24 floors of cold steep stone stairs in their socks.
(to be continued)March 10, 2013 10:59 am at 10:59 am #993830
(to be continued)May 28, 2013 9:46 pm at 9:46 pm #993831
After seven floors the boys realised that they could climb no more. With bated breath GG pulled his wand out from under his cloak and shouted “Accio Shoe store assistant.”
For the second time in one day shoe store assistant found herself flying over the atlantic, only this time she was holding tzeddoko vouchers instead of shoes.
“I will help you if you promise me to no longer wear shabbos shoes.” she told the two poor boys.
GG was only too happy to agree, as he had only one pair of shoes anyway, but CP wunced as he thought of the new patent leather shoes with a buckle that his mother had bpught for him only that week.
Yet shoe stores incantanations were not working. “this seems to be ancient magic.” she said finnally. “Since Talmudical times. It must have been put here by Popa bar Abba himself.”
I happened to be passing the top of the stairs when i overheard them. After hearing the problem, i explained that the solution was simple. If they would spell Kornhauser’s name with a K their spells mught work.May 28, 2013 10:05 pm at 10:05 pm #993832
What shoe store assistant hadn’t realised was the sheer extent of Korn../voldermort’s abilities. Every time she came to help, another thread of her’s was deleted or closed on YWN coffee room.
when she saw her thread closing in front of her eyes, she asked me if i could reopen it on her behalf which i did.May 29, 2013 11:26 am at 11:26 am #993833
Whydoes everyone ignore my threads????????????May 29, 2013 2:59 pm at 2:59 pm #993834
Thats not a thread, thats a POST a thread is a whole bunch of posts together…
Plus i didnt see it till now
but dont worry, e/o ignores me too, we must be soul mates or something
(See the thread : y does e/o ignore my posts!)December 15, 2013 12:23 pm at 12:23 pm #993835
It’s amazing how much garbage -or rubbish – one can find by simply following one’s countrymen’s user profiles.December 15, 2013 5:51 pm at 5:51 pm #993836
i would try and help out – but i have no idea of what is going on
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