Wherein Popa gets his deserts

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  • #608122
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Whereas Popa wanted to make herring, and

    Whereas Popa realized there was not enough oil in the house, and

    Whereas Popa had already found a good parking spot on the left side of the street, and

    Whereas there is a hippy dippy coop store a few blocks away, and

    Whereas Popa walked there to get a bottle of oil, and

    Whereas when Popa was leaving, there was an adorable poodle between the doors where its master had left it, and

    Whereas Popa thought it would be funny to get it to go inside the store, and

    Whereas Popa held the door open for it, and motioned for it to go in, and

    Whereas it was a well trained dog, and obediently stuck its head in, and

    Whereas it was not such a well trained dog, and only stuck its head in and looked around and didn’t move, and

    Whereas Popa didn’t want to let the door close on it,

    THEREFORE Popa was stuck there holding the door open for like a minute and a half because the stupid dog wouldn’t go in or out.

    And THEREFORE after like a minute and a half, it finally went IN, and Popa walked away snorting to himself, and came home and quickly posted this and then eventually will go make herring for shabbos.

    #1108916
    Ðash®
    Participant

    How many calories?

    #1108917
    WIY
    Member

    You make herring every Shabbos? What types?

    #1108918
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Mojave and Sahara?

    #1108919
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I make shmaltz herring. We get it in big number 5 cans, and then we slice it up and mix it with the oil and spices, and then freeze it like that, and each week you take out a little container of it, slice in some onions, and let it thaw in the fridge.

    #1108920
    WIY
    Member

    popa

    Forgive my ignorance what’s a number 5 can?

    Schmaltz is actually not up there on my favorite herring list. I am more a matjas herring fan.

    #1108921
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    It’s a 56 oz can. It is the normal big size can you see in commercial kitchens

    #1108922
    Toi
    Participant

    i make haggis.

    #1108923
    squeak
    Participant

    Great practical joke, except you missed the part about the clean getaway. I bet everyone i there was shouting at you for holding the door open letting cold in. By then they were perfectly willing to deal with the dog instead of the crazy guy with his can of oil (or gasoline for all they knew). This can be compared to the man who helps a short little boy ring a doorbell and then asks, now what? Instead of running away like he should.

    #1108924
    haifagirl
    Participant

    I didn’t understand it at first. Then I figured out what you meant. Perhaps a friendly mod can change every “whereas” to a “wherefore.”

    #1108925
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Your story can be compared to a short man who helps a tall boy burn down the school, and then does not stay to watch the fun.

    #1108926
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Haifagirl, I though you would comment that one does not eat herring for desert.

    #1108927
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I didn’t understand it at first. Then I figured out what you meant. Perhaps a friendly mod can change every “whereas” to a “wherefore.”

    I don’t believe you. I think you knew exactly what I meant the whole time.

    Also, I meant whereas. Wherefore means “why”, and the poem would then be read as “why did popa do this, why did popa do that”, until it explains with because therefore etc. But that isn’t what I was saying.

    #1108928
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Some clarification: A desert – a barren land. A dessert is a delicacy after a meal.

    ‘Just deserts’ means “that which one deserves”, and it is spelled with one S, but pronounced like the after-meal word.

    The word “desert” also means payback, but it is generally not used in that sense in isolation. It has nothing whatsoever to do with dessert.

    As a play on words, you will sometimes see the phrase “just desserts” referring to a restaurant, the idea being that you deserve the great food, but this is a pun and has nothing to do with the actual meaning of the word.

    PBA is obviously aware of this but as other people are mixing up the terms in this thread, I thought it would be worthwhile to make it explicit.

    #1108929
    alter bochur
    Participant

    mmmmm…

    whence will my herring come?

    #1108930
    apushatayid
    Participant

    I though the punchline would be that popa invited the owner of the dog over for shalos seudos to taste the herring.

    #1108931
    WIY
    Member

    Torah

    “The word “desert” also means payback”

    Where did you get that from, I couldn’t find such a definition for desert. Below is what I did find.

    Noun

    (A dry, barren area of land, esp. one covered with sand.)

    A person’s worthiness or entitlement to reward or punishment.

    #1108932
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    desert

    3

    [dih-zurt]

    1. Often deserts . reward or punishment that is deserved: to get one’s just deserts. due, payment, recompense, reward; justice, retaliation, retribution, penalty.

    From Dictionary. com

    #1108933

    “I meant whereas. Wherefore means “why”, and the poem would then be read as “why did popa do this, why did popa do that”, until it explains with because therefore etc.”

    That makes no sense…You are telling me that the answer to “why did popa want to make herring” is “because popa was stuck there holding the door open for like a minute and a half”?

    Well spotted, haifagirl. I approve 🙂

    #1108934
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    That’s what I said.

    #1108935
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    My father says it was a number 10 can, which is 13 cups. So 104 oz

    #1108936
    WIY
    Member

    Popa

    The gantze mishpucha is oisek in food?

    #1108937
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    whereas [hwair-az, wair-]

    1. while on the contrary: One

    arrived promptly, whereas the

    others hung back.

    2. it being the case that, or

    considering that (used

    especially in formal

    preambles).

    Dictionary. com

    popa: 2

    torah613totah: 1

    haifagirl: 0

    jewishfeminist02: 0

    DaasYochid: 0

    WIY: 0

    #1108938
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    JF02,

    You corrected haifagirl’s error, not popa’s.

    #1108939

    You’re right! Somehow I inverted the two. My mistake. I do in fact agree with popa’s original wording.

    #1108940
    WIY
    Member

    Whereas means while on the other hand so me thinks at least the first whereas is incorrect and shouldn’t be there.

    #1108941

    In legal usage of the word “whereas” (generally for contracts) it is taken to mean “considering that…”

    #1108942
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    WIY,

    See definition #2.

    #1108943
    haifagirl
    Participant

    Somebody has been messing with this thread. Either that or I’m sicker than I thought. The OP was all “wherefore,” and I asked a mod to change it to “whereas.” Now I see the OP is all “whereas” and my post has it reversed.

    #1108944
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    haifa, it’s ok, we all make mistakes sometimes.

    #1108945

    haifagirl, I thought the same thing! Too funny

    #1108946
    haifagirl
    Participant

    Maybe I should just go back to bed.

    #1108947
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Somebody has been messing with this thread.

    haifagirl, I thought the same thing! Too funny

    Great practical joke

    hmmm…

    #1108948
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    It’s Rosh Chodesh Adar, and Popa had to be yotze somehow.

    #1108949
    wanderingchana
    Participant

    What is a cute little fluffy dog or an ugly mongrel?

    #1108950
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    It was the most adorable poodle ever. Everyone was patting it on the head as they went in and out, and I was stuck holding the door.

    #1108951
    WIY
    Member

    Happy bump Popa thread day

    #1108952
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Wherein popa uses whereas.

    #1108953
    Francorachel3
    Participant

    Deserts? Did you mean the Gobi desert? The Sahara? Or did you mean DESSERT?

    #1108954
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Francorachel3, you’re making the same mistake I made >2 years ago.

    #1108955
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Why couldn’t popa nudge the poodle?

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