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Having grown up in a secular environment, I made several attempts to return tho Judaism. For a long time I have observed very little — Sabbath, Holidays partial kosher and Shema and prayers for food.
I am just beginning Teshuva. I would like to work first on sins for which one receives eternal punishment.
Embarrassing someone publically.
There are issurei karet; sins for which a person’s soul gets cut off. Are you talking about those?
I once heard from R’ Shimshon Pincus ZT”L that the worst one is a man having a child with a non-jewish girl as this is irreversible (the child is permanently a non-Jew)whereas anything else can be rectified (heard on a shiur given on leil tisha b’av where he bemoans the churban of this dor – intermarriage)
The child can convert when reaching adulthood.
Wish you much Hatzlacha:)
Don’t obsess. You can do teshuva – it is Hashem’s gift to us – feeling like it can’t be so easy and I will never be able to rectify this sin is just self defeating and will get you down. Think of those feelings as rebellion against Hashem’s wonderful gift. Just try to do the mitzvoth with a happy heart, rejoice that you have found the true way back. Pray that Hashem helps you to do true teshuva and that Hashem sends you the opportunity to do Chesed, for Chesed is an antidote to severe punishments. Wishing you all the best.
Sins for one’s soul get cut off are issurei karet.
Intermarriage, sleeping with a niddah, etc.
And yaffa, my dad intermarried, and his son (me) “converted” (After being reared in the Reform movement) and became Orthodox. HaShem calls to Himself those whom He wishes. I defied Pew Report-style predictable outcomes. Nobody would have ever guessed in a million years that the product of such an intermarriage would become Orthodox (although many don’t consider Modern Orthodoxy or Open Orthodoxy “orthodox” enough, which bears negatively on those making these claims).
rebdoniel,
I believe you may be missing a nuance in Rav Pinchus zt”l. His statement is in the person doing the act. And geris while an incredible undertaking is not an act of teshuva, rather a new bria. You have done a tremendous thing by following the pintl yid that you had some sheichus to. And although your father, i am sure did a tremendous job raising you and putting you in a position where you were able to make incredible and difficult choices for the good, he committed an aveirah as we all do. But we cannot do teshuva for our parents, each person is responsible for themselves.
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