Who's right?

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  • This topic has 21 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 9 years ago by sharp.
Viewing 22 posts - 1 through 22 (of 22 total)
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  • #609764
    patriot
    Member

    My wife, 1 year old and I were on a family vacation with my parents and 2 sisters, 23 and 28. On the way back to the hotel, my son fell asleep at 8:30 pm and we had about an hour to go. My 28 year old sister kept talking and making noise so I kept telling her to be quiet since she might wake up my son. As we finally approached the hotel, my son woke up bc my sister couldn’t keep her mouth shut. We knew we would be up for another 3 hours bc he woke up. My wife and I started yelling at my sister bc she woke my son up. She’s 28 years old and couldn’t shut her mouth for an hour! Now my parents and other sister aren’t talking to us bc we yelled at her. My mom told my wife to calm down but my wife said she’s 28 years old, she needs to learn to grow up. All of our friends that we told about this are shocked that my 28 year old sister couldn’t be quiet while my son was sleeping. Who do you think is right?

    #960971
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Neither

    #960972
    shikron
    Member

    Everyone’s wrong.

    1. Your sister is wrong for talking loud.

    2. You and your wife are wrong for yelling at her for waking the baby.

    3. Your parents and other sister are wrong for not talking to you.

    #960973
    patriot
    Member

    Also we warned them before the trip that they will need to be quiet when he sleeps at night. The whole time my 28 year old sister was popping their gum and a few times they played their music out loud

    #960974
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    When I get married, I’m totally gonna post my marital problems on YWN.

    #960975
    patriot
    Member

    Hmmm popa not sure how this is marital problems but I always appreciate your insight

    #960976
    MorahRach
    Member

    Popa, sometimes your comments are funny and other times they are just completely unneeded.

    #960977
    yehudayona
    Participant

    shikron, not everyone’s wrong. The baby’s OK.

    #960978
    midwesterner
    Participant

    As a father many times, and having made dozens and dozens of long interstate drives with kids, I can tell you that if they sleep in the car, then they’re up at the destination. You have to decide how much peace and quiet in the car is worth the hassles at the end. Generally, if they’ve been up the whole trip, and there’s an hour to go, I hope they stay up in the car so they’ll sleep when I stop.

    It is not worth the one hour of sleep in the car for the three hours of awake at the end.

    Three generation family vacations are inadvisable.

    #960979

    Sorry patriot,, but I actually think they are right (not for ignoring, but for talking.) My family is super sensitive to my baby’s needs. They will whisper when in her room, take care of her, etc. But when we get in the car, yes we do talk. Myself included. You cannot ask 5 adults to remain quiet because you don’t want to spend 3 hours taking care of your child afterwards. Its not fair and will ruin they’re trip for them.

    #960980
    oomis
    Participant

    Everyone could have handled this better. Your sister was out of line, as you had asked her in advance to be more considerate. Your wife should not have yelled – that did not help the situation. Your parents were out of line for not speaking to you, and for not defending your position with your sister.

    Lesson learned – no more vacations with your family in the same vehicle. For 28, your sister sounds like she needs to grow up. A LOT. That said, a baby should be trained to sleep through noise. Some cannot be, however, and your sister should have been mroe sensitive. In fact, because she thoughtlessly woke him, she should have had to be up with him for the next three hours.

    #960981
    kfb
    Participant

    I think I’m missing something here. What do you mean that your 28 year old sister couldn’t keep quiet so the baby could sleep? Assuming she’s totally normal, this makes no sense. Why didn’t your parents yell at her to quiet down, it’s their grandson after all.

    #960982
    Ayayashreichem24
    Participant

    You made everyone be quiet the whole car ride so that the baby can sleep?

    #960983
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Popa, sometimes your comments are funny and other times they are just completely unneeded.

    Thank you. That is another very important lesson for marriage. Sometimes your spouse will say things that you appreciate a lot, and sometimes will say stuff that is frankly kind of inane. But you appreciate them for who they are anyway.

    #960984
    MorahRach
    Member

    Ayay, the OP stated his son fell asleep for the last potion of the drive not the whole time-read his post.

    #960985
    patriot
    Member

    Kfb, yes Boruch Hashem she is totally normal. She’s just very immature. My parents didn’t yell at her and then got mad at my wife and I for yelling at her

    #960986
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I’m not sure why you are asking who is right. Who cares who is right? Right now, you have a situation where your parents and siblings aren’t talking to you and your wife. Surely, whatever issue there was is less important than that.

    #960987
    Ayayashreichem24
    Participant

    Sorry you’re right- I haven’t read the whole thing.

    Now that I have, it appears (I don’t know her side so idk for sure) that your sister was in the wrong for waking up the baby. But you weren’t right to yell at her as if she were a child-she’s 28! PBA is right- who cares who’s right? Just fix the new problem! Who wants a huge family fight to come out of such a little thing? Apologize and get it over with.

    #960988
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    A agree with shikton, except about the everybody part

    #960989

    Your wife, being the sister-in-law and daughter-in-law, should have been sensitive to the family dynamics at play and should have expressed her discomfort politely instead of yelling.

    However, I certainly sympathize with her frustration. Your parents and sisters should not have agreed to keep quiet when your son was sleeping if they couldn’t follow through with that even after being reminded.

    #960990
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    I get where you are coming from and I feel for you, but I also have to wonder about referring to gum popping as enough noise to wake a baby. There must be other factors. I do hope, though, that everything works out b’shalom.

    #960991
    sharp
    Member

    With all due respect, your mother should have taken this up with YOU, not with your wife.

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