Why am I having such a hard time getting reddt ideas

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  • This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  oomis 6 years ago.
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  • #610874

    dstern40
    Member

    I am over 35, have excellent middos, – i’m told, I live in Toronto, BT for 15 years, Why am I having such a hard time finding places other than online to find shidduch ideas, im modern to the right.

    willing to re-locate, never married

    #978843

    SaysMe
    Member

    spread your name more? Contact shadchanim both in Toronto and in New York and anywhere else you can, ask your acquaintances to keep you in mind, let people know what you’re looking for and that you’re open to hearing suggestions from them n not just from official shadchanim

    #978844

    postsemgirl
    Member

    I have the same issue but I’m 24 FFB and live in the states. Welcome to shidduchim.

    #978846

    oomis
    Participant

    Be open to shidduchim that might be “out of the box” thinking. You might be more to the right side of modern, but people on the right tend to be more cautious about dating baalei teshuvah (sorry, but it is just how I have observed it is, and I MARRIED a BT). Join groups where you will meet other single people in your demographic. They more than likely may have been previously married. Come to NY, you might have additional opportunities to find a chevra here, rather than in Toronto, and they can introduce you to someone.

    #978847

    rebdoniel
    Member

    If you’re a BT, stick to the more MO circles, which also tend to have more singles your age.

    Build self-confidence. Learn a few jokes, pick up a new language, learn to play guitar, memorize some poetry, work out. These are all things I’ve been doing, and they will make you more attractive in the eyes of the opposite gender.

    And find a good shadchan on Saw You at Sinai and try out JWed/Frumster. Many people have had success that way nowadays.

    And remember, yesh tikvah. A friend of mine, 37, just married a woman of 40. Her family was misyaesh and ready to write her off as a spinster, but there’s hope for all of us.

    #978848

    oomis
    Participant

    If someone is more Modern to Yeshivish, it might not work so well to go to more modern circles, as that is not the derech this poster seems to have chosen. That being said OP, if you are FLEXIBLE, you might find a like-minded Baal Teshuvah, or a Modern Orthodox person who is looking to grow spiritually with you more to the right. Hatzlacha rabba.

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