Why do Chassidim seem happier.

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  • #1709989

    Haimy
    Participant

    Strange that Chassidim have to contend with a lot more prishus & minhagim than us Yeshivishe yet they seem overall happier & smile more naturally. How do you explain?
    My hunch is that a) We are more individualistic & socially competitive which robs our happiness, b) We live with more guilt & feelings of failure due to high expectations, C) The increased purity of Chassidim gives them more happiness. R’ Eliyahu Lopian said he’s nispael from the Taharah he see’s on the faces of the chassidischer bachurim (Intro to Lev Eliyahu).
    What can we learn from the Chassidim to be happier?

    #1710004

    Sam Klein
    Participant

    Learn how to be satisfied with less.
    Be happy with your cup half full not vice versa.
    Fantasies and vacations don’t have to be expensive there are many affordable inexpensive vacations that you can enjoy with your family

    #1710000

    Yabia Omer
    Participant

    The answer is that Yeshivish is an artificial, modern phenomenon. They took an ideal and applied to the masses and expect people to conform to it. Doesn’t work, ergo, unhappy.

    #1710038

    Heargod
    Participant

    The grass is greener on the other side.
    Additionally, the ABC reasons u gave why others are less happy then chasidim, sound like u r projecting your issues on the masses. U should probably see a therapist or a good rabbi about those issues u r having

    #1710073

    Lubavitcher
    Participant

    Because not only is it a mitzvah to be happy and serve hashem with joy but that the basics of chassidis.

    #1710074

    Lubavitcher
    Participant

    There are many stories of the happy chussid and depressed misnagid

    #1710098

    Chossid
    Participant

    Chassidish used to be called “der frielecher”

    #1710047

    aka pooka
    Participant

    that which you said “have to contend with a lot more prishus & minhagim” is not exactly accurate. Most Chasidim stress importance in enjoying mundane things in life more than Litvish. If someone is not successful in enjoying learning Torah or grasping it then Chassidus offers an alternative that makes that person feel good about himself.

    #1710197

    Neville ChaimBerlin
    Participant

    Their socio-economic/cultural setup is superior. It’s essentially what Yabia Omer said. The yeshivish world has tried to extend something naturally reserved for the elite to everyone, and it doesn’t work. Chassidim b’klal go to work when they move out, and learn in their spare time. Litvaks, meanwhile, look down on anyone who doesn’t have the wealth to be unemployed deep into life without any consequences. It’s created an unsustainable oligarchy which is crumbling and causing anyone who isn’t from a wealthy family to be miserable. Also, there’s the shidduch crisis…

    #1710279

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    You dont really know the truth, you only see what people want you to see about their lives

    #1710329

    lakewhut
    Participant

    Just because a yeshivish person looks serious, doesn’t mean that he’s unhappy.

    #1710336

    akuperma
    Participant

    Misnagdim see Ha-Shem as a “Boss” who is constantly assigning “shoulds”. They “fear” the Ribono shel Olam.

    Hasidim see Ha-Shem as a super-duper best friend and everyone likes doing things together with one’s best friend, and it happens this friends like mitsvos. Hasidim think its cool to have the Ribbono shel Olam as best friend.

    #1710346

    K-cup
    Participant

    They dont seem happier at all in my experience with the exception of psuedo breslov. What chassidim or where? Walking down the street in Williamsburg it people seem happier? Kiras Yoel? Chassidim in Bnei Brak? Are you sure you’re not thinking of the general happy chassid stereotype of Marim Buber, Gershom Scholem ect…

    #1710350

    chasid
    Participant

    Learn chassidus and you’ll know why. My hunch is the difference between mussar and chassidus is the reason.

    #1710448

    Lit
    Participant

    There are some Chasidim who think Litvaks are happier. 🙂

    #1710436

    ClearKop
    Participant

    kalte litvak doesnt mean upset. it means serious. Rav elchonon hy”d basically never cracked a smile but i feel like he probably enjoyed life more than all of these chasidishe bachurim. r’ elya lopian may have been nispael from the smiles but didnt say everyone should act that way. their mesorah is x and ours may be y.

    #1710452

    Neville ChaimBerlin
    Participant

    No. Musar has very little to do with how the Litvish world works. You assume musar is to us as Chassidus is to you. It’s not a good mashal.

    #1710444

    Lit
    Participant

    Why do politicians seem happier before an election? Because they are taught to smile when campaigning.

    Similarly, Chasidim are told to laugh, smile…

    The question though is, how genuine are those expressions? I prefer honesty and real simcha over fake acts.

    #1710443

    lakewhut
    Participant

    K-cup I think the ones he sees in the restaurants.

    #1710473

    Joseph
    Participant

    Lit: A fake smile is better than no smile.

    That’s even assuming your silly assumption were correct.

    #1710479

    Takes2-2tango
    Participant

    osephParticipant

    Lit: A fake smile is better than no smile.

    That’s even assuming your silly assumption were correct.
    ——————————–
    Better for whom?

    #1710511

    Little Froggie
    Participant

    My three cents: (upgraded due to inflation)

    1) Rabbi Miller, in numerous talks, stresses the need to always walk with a smile, we’re always in show, conveying the portrait of an eved HaShem who is happy in His duty. So even when when we’re not in the best of moods, we should try and paste whatever kind of smile we can afford. We’re on HaShem’s propaganda committee.

    2) Chassidim put more of a Dagash (focus) on the service of HaShem, rather then the development of one’s character. So even though one brings the other, a Chassid’s measure is not by what he has turned himself into, rather his measuring stick is what and how he serves His Creator. How he becomes a better person will eventually come about, however, that is not his goal. So every deed one does for HaShem is a cause for happiness. Another Mitzvah, another hour of limud haTorah, another aveira avoided. What a zchus to be able to effect such Nachas by HaShem. So of course its a source of great happiness.

    3) The performance of a Mitzvah with Simcha is itself a Mitzvah. Which is cause for more happiness. Which is then cause for more happiness. Which is then cause for more happiness. Which is then cause for more happiness. Which is then cause for more happiness. Which is then cause for more happiness…….

    (which brings to mind a story told over of someone who was not able to sell his stock of whisky in time for Pesach. So in middle of Pesach he made a huge bonfire and had his whole stock burnt. Then he hired musicians to play – to add to the Simcha Shel Mitzva. Details are etchy.. I think he was Zoche to something great in return…)

    #1710523

    Joseph
    Participant

    “Better for whom?”

    For the person putting on the fake smile rather than a sour face.

    #1710499

    Lit
    Participant

    Why do people in tv commercials seem happy? Because the company sponsoring the commercial knows that people will be attracted to smiling people, who seem happy, and will be more likely to be convinced by them to do what they are promoting. They will buy the product being sold.

    Does that mean that all the people in the commercials, on tv, in movies, in Hollywood, are actually happy? No!

    Why do missionaries smile and make as if they are happy, and talk about love? Same reason, It is good for sales.

    Why do salespeople in stores smile?

    Why do followers of Dale Carnegie smile?

    It is foolish to conclude however, based on such appearances, that those are the happy people in the world, who have the truth, who should be emulated.

    #1711049

    A Fish Out of Water
    Participant

    I spend time in both atmospheres. I have seen that those that truly work on themselves, end up pretty close to each other in this regard. They both have true simcha
    The difference is in what they start with. Chasidim start with more of an emphasis on Simcha, so they show signs of it, real or on the way to real, earlier. Litvish/Yeshivish place an emphasis on other topics, particularly hasmada, first. The goal in the long term is the same, to be a masmid learning lishma with true Simcha.
    There’s no reason to argue because both are viable options, backed by erliche yidden.

    #1711057

    Takes2-2tango
    Participant

    Rebbes for the most part never smile so xhassidom feel they gave to smile for tge rebbe

    #1711128

    Neville ChaimBerlin
    Participant

    “It is foolish to conclude however, based on such appearances, that those are the happy people in the world, who have the truth, who should be emulated.”

    Who said anything about emulating? Nobody is trying to convert you here. If every time you see a happy Chassidishe person you think it’s part of some marketing ploy to get you to be mevatel your own mesorah, then you have some weird personal quirks to work out.

    #1712394

    Lit
    Participant

    Why do Hispanics seem happier than Whites?

    Why do Blacks seem happier than Chinese?

    #1712395

    a mamin
    Participant

    Takes 2 to tango: your animosity is showing …. you’re off target with a Chassidic Rebbe’s ! They are truly happy with the right things ! I know many Rebbe’s that have attained true happiness! I wish I could emulate them !

    #1712410

    ocho sinco
    Participant

    I think because their lives are simple. They don’t offer complicate things for no reason they don’t hear a million different opinions on everything etc

    #1712431

    Lit
    Participant

    Why do children seem happier than adults?

    Ignorance is bliss. 🙂

    #1712490

    Neville ChaimBerlin
    Participant

    Lit:
    “Ignorance is bliss. 🙂”
    Is this conclusion also going on your mashal to blacks and hispanics or just kids? Is it also going on Chassidim?

    #1712513

    Mammele
    Participant

    Joseph is correct. Studies show that when it comes to smiling, fake it till you make it is the way to go. NBC News had a late 2017 article on this, and following is the headline & byline:

    “Smiling can trick your brain into happiness — and boost your health
    A smile spurs a powerful chemical reaction in the brain that can make you feel happier.”

    Anyone interested can google for the full article.

    #1712486

    Toothpick17
    Participant

    The essence in life is happiness the more gashmius you have the more honor you want make a person unhappy קנאה ותאוה וכבוד מוציאים את האדם מן העולם from THE world of happiness. Generally chasidim have less gashmius.

    #1712497

    Haimy
    Participant

    The Chassidim stress the idea of Simcha just for the fact that we were born a Yid. The Litvishe don’t stress this too much & rather place a big emphasis on personal achievement. My concern is that if we raise the bar of success too high for most people to reach we are lft with many people feeling unaccomplished. Every guy like me who once learned in Kollel & now works feels like a partial failure even though this is the normal way Hashem intended the world to run. I’m not knocking or endorsing either system but think we have what to learn from each other in this area. Success as a Yid can’t be limited to becoming Klei Kodesh or becoming an osher, every Yid can reach a high level of accomplishment regardless of his vocation.

    #1712544

    ccb45
    Participant

    Yes, the Beer Mayim Chaim was born to them. The Beer Mayim Chaim is a fire of chassidus and is one of the basic sifrei chassidus learnt around the world and is easy to understand from bochur to yungerman.

    #1712570

    Moyshele
    Participant

    Research shows that shaving your head makes you happy.

    #1712623

    lost in Europe
    Participant

    There’s a very simple anwer. The mantra and basic foundation in chassidus is to serve Hashem “with Simche.”

    #1712962

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Mammele, those studies only show that in the short term.

    #1712978

    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    The job of the Rebbe ie to instil happiness.

    #1729930

    ywnjudy
    Participant

    To Ocho and Lit:

    I agree, and you took the words out of my mouth, except i’d have stated the posuk:
    “B’rov daas yosif mach’ov” (as describing many litvaks)

    However – the times are a’changin’ and enough of the newer generation have mixed and mingled, so that probably they’ve rubbed off on each other a bit. Probably the less savory stuff!

    #1731819

    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    איזהו עשיר השמח בחלקו is more prevalent by them.

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