Why is there so much pressure to be "in style"

A lot of the pressure is self inflicted. We can all try to buck the trend to see if we’ll survive…

You need new clothing every season to not be seen as nebbish?

You can’t wear last winters clothing this winter?

I don’t think so Joseph but that doesn’t mean there aren’t people who judge on such superficial nonsense.

Joseph,

I agree with you 100%. If you clothes were nice last year, then they should be good this year. I have a few dark suits and davening jackets which last me years. I replace one every year or two as they wear out.

But I think that a woman’s mind is wired differently, however. Most women seem to have a strong need for social acceptance and even adulation. That is their main Yetzer Hara.

RY, why does the style change less by men?

because of its a persons instinct to want to do what others do. so thats why people want to wear in style clothing to be like others. (psychology.) I took 2 courses of those and love quoting from my classes their very interesting.

Psychology is a very obvious subject thats why its an easy a.

sdd, you’ve been to seminary?

MsP: You went from eighth grade straight to college?

Being an egghead has nothing to do with being nice or otherwise. Lots of “eggheads” are very nice people.

Well, you kind of answered your own question with the word “pressure.” People feel pressure to fit in with others. Since it has become an increasingly prevalent trend to buy new clothing every season, people want to keep up with the Joneses and not be left out.

If you have the money to buy a new wardrobe every season, then kol hakovod (at least in theory; hashkafically there may still be some problems). But if you’re wasting your (or someone else’s) money on clothing that you cannot afford, maybe think about your priorities a little.

Well, isn’t that the whole purpose of a Jew- to overcome (and BE’H change) his instincts?

We all have taavos, we all have thoughts and emotions that we probably shouldn’t, we all struggle with nisyonos. The question is if we’re just going to say “it’s not my fault, that’s just who I am” or if we’re going to work on it.

The need to “fit in” is natural and normal, and in many ways, it keeps society running. ????? ????? ??? ?? ???? ???? ????- that’s what it says in ???? ????. At the same time, it causes a lot of difficulty. People of all ages struggle with peer pressure, especially when it is in conflict with their values. The question is if we give in or stand up to it. ????? ???? ????? ????? ????? ???

Now, I’m not saying that buying a new wardrobe every season is necessarily the wrong thing to do. For me personally, it goes against my hashkafa and personal values. Each person has to evaluate what the price of fitting in is, and decide whether or not it fits in with his/her hashkafa.

“some people have a greater yatzer hara than others”

No. It’s just that different people have a yeitzer hara for different things.

Shopping613- that’s part of the difficulty of peer pressure; many of us want to do things differently than the crowd, but we feel stifled by others’ judgment. Some people react with reverse judgment- basically judging their judgers- but I don’t think that’s right, either.

The best way is to work on being confident and comfortable with who you are, and to try not to care so much what other people think. It’s extremely difficult, but it’s doable.

I personally do not buy a whole new wardrobe every season. I buy to fill in the gaps of what is unusable from last season, or the season before that, or 5-10 seasons before. Sometimes that could mean buying nothing new, if my clothing remained intact. My main objective is that my clothing looks nice on me and I feel good in it. It doesn’t have to be at the height of fashion.

Last week, my wife was feeling cold. She’s almost my size, so I offered her a colorful sweatshirt/sweater of mine. She looked at it and said, “No thanks, that’s so 80’s.”