January 1, 2016 6:24 am at 6:24 am #616957
Even when you can’t afford to get a new wardrobe every season?January 1, 2016 7:21 am at 7:21 am #1121431
Even if you could afford a new wardrobe every season!January 1, 2016 7:45 am at 7:45 am #1121432MammeleParticipant
A lot of the pressure is self inflicted. We can all try to buck the trend to see if we’ll survive…January 1, 2016 1:15 pm at 1:15 pm #1121433TheGoqParticipant
People don’t want to be labeled a nebbish.January 1, 2016 1:24 pm at 1:24 pm #1121434
You need new clothing every season to not be seen as nebbish?
You can’t wear last winters clothing this winter?January 1, 2016 1:33 pm at 1:33 pm #1121435
Don’t dress in braids and a jumper when your 16, or wear shlumpy/dirty clothing. I mean t-shirts, random skirts….
Most thing made in the past 5-6 years aren’t nebbish. Perhaps not exactly in style but it doesn’t mean you loook like a neb or ugly. That’s what I’m trying to say…January 1, 2016 2:33 pm at 2:33 pm #1121436TheGoqParticipant
I don’t think so Joseph but that doesn’t mean there aren’t people who judge on such superficial nonsense.January 1, 2016 3:52 pm at 3:52 pm #1121437
Because different is either seen as bad or, rarely, as a standard that is so awesome it’s impossible for others to adhere to. It takes a lot of confidence to pull off the second one, otherwise it’s just seen as bad.January 1, 2016 5:41 pm at 5:41 pm #1121438
I agree with you 100%. If you clothes were nice last year, then they should be good this year. I have a few dark suits and davening jackets which last me years. I replace one every year or two as they wear out.
But I think that a woman’s mind is wired differently, however. Most women seem to have a strong need for social acceptance and even adulation. That is their main Yetzer Hara.January 1, 2016 6:01 pm at 6:01 pm #1121439
Don’t be silly. You face as much social pressure to fit in, the style just doesn’t change as often.January 1, 2016 6:32 pm at 6:32 pm #1121440
RY, why does the style change less by men?January 1, 2016 7:19 pm at 7:19 pm #1121441
“Don’t be silly. You face as much social pressure to fit in, the style just doesn’t change as often. “
I have gotten used to being an outcast. I don’t mind it, as I’m comfortable in my skin. It comes with age and messing up enough that you don’t care anymore. Right now, I am at work with jeans, sneakers, and dress socks. Not so stylish…whatever. The only concern I have is that I don’t look so out-of-it that I make a chillul Hashem.January 3, 2016 12:56 pm at 12:56 pm #1121442
I guess it’s different when you live “in town”. I’m so glad I grew up out of town. I try to run in circles where being “in” doesn’t matter.January 3, 2016 12:58 pm at 12:58 pm #1121443
Because of this I actually look down upon people “in style”. Those people are ussu. uptight, judgmental, and superficial.January 3, 2016 4:22 pm at 4:22 pm #1121444
because of its a persons instinct to want to do what others do. so thats why people want to wear in style clothing to be like others. (psychology.) I took 2 courses of those and love quoting from my classes their very interesting.January 3, 2016 4:38 pm at 4:38 pm #1121445
I’ve read psychology books that just stated the obvious.January 3, 2016 5:20 pm at 5:20 pm #1121446
Psychology is a very obvious subject thats why its an easy a.January 3, 2016 8:24 pm at 8:24 pm #1121447screwdriverdelightParticipant
It’s a seminary thing. There are some seminaries out there that if you come in the first day with yesterday’s clothing, then forget it–you just blew it. No one will associate themselves with you because you’re so last year.
But I heard Machon Raaya’s not like that.January 3, 2016 8:30 pm at 8:30 pm #1121448
sdd, you’ve been to seminary?January 3, 2016 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #1121449screwdriverdelightParticipant
I actually never got accepted to any seminary…it’s a sore subject, please don’t ask me about it.January 3, 2016 8:45 pm at 8:45 pm #1121450
Those seminaries are eggheads.January 3, 2016 9:16 pm at 9:16 pm #1121451
i dont believe you never got accepted to any seminary all seminaries accept good frum girls unless their not jewish….. (even i probably would get into a good seminary even tho i never went to high school and went to college instead just because im very religious and very into academics and have good grades b’h).January 3, 2016 9:49 pm at 9:49 pm #1121452
MsP: You went from eighth grade straight to college?January 3, 2016 10:04 pm at 10:04 pm #1121453pcozMember
There is a Rashi somewhere which talks about the un-tzeniasdik way the Edomiim dress in Paris. Reb Binyamin Zilber brings this as an antecedent for Parisian fashion.January 3, 2016 10:39 pm at 10:39 pm #1121454
Being an egghead has nothing to do with being nice or otherwise. Lots of “eggheads” are very nice people.January 4, 2016 12:13 am at 12:13 am #1121455
i started taking classes in 10 grade i didnt like my school so i didnt really show up to school in 9 grade thats why i said i just skipped high school and went straight to college.January 5, 2016 5:24 am at 5:24 am #1121456
Well, you kind of answered your own question with the word “pressure.” People feel pressure to fit in with others. Since it has become an increasingly prevalent trend to buy new clothing every season, people want to keep up with the Joneses and not be left out.
If you have the money to buy a new wardrobe every season, then kol hakovod (at least in theory; hashkafically there may still be some problems). But if you’re wasting your (or someone else’s) money on clothing that you cannot afford, maybe think about your priorities a little.January 5, 2016 5:28 am at 5:28 am #1121457
yes we should not want to “fit” in its just natural instinct.January 5, 2016 6:40 am at 6:40 am #1121458
Well, isn’t that the whole purpose of a Jew- to overcome (and BE’H change) his instincts?
We all have taavos, we all have thoughts and emotions that we probably shouldn’t, we all struggle with nisyonos. The question is if we’re just going to say “it’s not my fault, that’s just who I am” or if we’re going to work on it.
The need to “fit in” is natural and normal, and in many ways, it keeps society running. ????? ????? ??? ?? ???? ???? ????- that’s what it says in ???? ????. At the same time, it causes a lot of difficulty. People of all ages struggle with peer pressure, especially when it is in conflict with their values. The question is if we give in or stand up to it. ????? ???? ????? ????? ????? ???
Now, I’m not saying that buying a new wardrobe every season is necessarily the wrong thing to do. For me personally, it goes against my hashkafa and personal values. Each person has to evaluate what the price of fitting in is, and decide whether or not it fits in with his/her hashkafa.January 5, 2016 8:49 am at 8:49 am #1121459
it is but some people have a greater yatzer hara than others.January 5, 2016 12:20 pm at 12:20 pm #1121460
I just hate that people judge those who don’t buy a new wardrobe every season.January 5, 2016 12:31 pm at 12:31 pm #1121461someguyonacomputerMember
Why is there so much pressure to be “in style”?
Because all the cool kids are doing it, duh.January 5, 2016 3:22 pm at 3:22 pm #1121462cherrybimParticipant
“some people have a greater yatzer hara than others”
No. It’s just that different people have a yeitzer hara for different things.January 5, 2016 5:08 pm at 5:08 pm #1121463
If you don’t want to buy a new wardrobe each season, find your own unique style and wear it well.January 6, 2016 5:18 pm at 5:18 pm #1121464
Shopping613- that’s part of the difficulty of peer pressure; many of us want to do things differently than the crowd, but we feel stifled by others’ judgment. Some people react with reverse judgment- basically judging their judgers- but I don’t think that’s right, either.
The best way is to work on being confident and comfortable with who you are, and to try not to care so much what other people think. It’s extremely difficult, but it’s doable.
I personally do not buy a whole new wardrobe every season. I buy to fill in the gaps of what is unusable from last season, or the season before that, or 5-10 seasons before. Sometimes that could mean buying nothing new, if my clothing remained intact. My main objective is that my clothing looks nice on me and I feel good in it. It doesn’t have to be at the height of fashion.January 6, 2016 5:41 pm at 5:41 pm #1121465
SameJanuary 6, 2016 5:56 pm at 5:56 pm #1121466
Last week, my wife was feeling cold. She’s almost my size, so I offered her a colorful sweatshirt/sweater of mine. She looked at it and said, “No thanks, that’s so 80’s.”January 7, 2016 5:40 pm at 5:40 pm #1121467HashemisreadingParticipant
Why was Mod-80’s sweater in your house? I would love to wear his sweater.
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