Why the husband is in the driver’s seat 🤵🚗

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Viewing 36 posts - 1 through 36 (of 36 total)
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  • #1281131

    Joseph
    Participant

    As you likely noticed, when you see a frum husband and wife in the front seats of a car or other motor vehicle you will generally see, in the vast majority of the times, the husband in the driver’s seat. This is even the case among frum families where women are permitted to drive.

    Why do you think this is the case?

    (Note to Wolf: Yes, we know, sometimes your wife drives you.)

    #1281142

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Because men are just the chauffeurs. Women have stuff to do, so they do other things in the car that can’t be done while driving.

    #1281145

    Joseph
    Participant

    Nail polish?

    #1281154

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Jealous?

    #1281178

    Meno
    Participant

    car or other motor vehicle

    Motorcycle? School bus?

    #1281185

    Joseph
    Participant

    Minivan.

    #1281190

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    Joseph………………..
    There are many reasons why this may occur in some families. it leaves the mother free to attend to the needs of small children in the car.
    I think that you will find this more common in ONE car families.
    Those living OOT or the suburbs where the norm is that there is a car for each driver, may fit the CTL family pattern. If we are in Reb CTL’s vehicle, I drive. If we are in Mrs. CTL’s vehicle she drives. This past Thursday, last single Miss CTL asked me to to the shopping mall with her. It was a 90 degree, sunny day. We went in her convertible with the top down, she drove, I was the passenger.
    BTW>>>she told me that as she is getting married this summer she wants to enjoy the feeling of the sun and wind in her hair while she can. She’ll be trading in the convertible for a married lady’s car suitable for hauling groceries, etc. before the chasunah this summer.

    #1281202

    Joseph
    Participant

    Your explanation of mom being in charge of tending to the children while dad’s in charge of getting things moving is reasonable.

    #1281247

    You’ve made me laugh again.

    #1281270

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Ive seen Rav Yisroel Neuman get into a car. His wife was the driver. He went into the passenger side

    #1281361

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    If you travel anywhere near Willy or BP, you will frequently see the woman in the driver’s seat dropping off her husband at the shul or subway station with the kids in the back; I’m sure its different in Lakewood and Monsey but in the City, there are fewer frum families with their own cars, and among those probably a greater percentage of women dirvers.

    #1281389

    Joseph
    Participant

    Do you make things up on the fly or do you simply say things you don’t know what you’re talking about?

    In Williamsburg, and to a bit lesser extent in Boro Park, you’ll rarely see local frum women ever driving.

    #1281406

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    I see lots of women drivers in the frum neighborhoods in the city and fewer on the occasions wt drive through Monsey or in Lakewood…that’s my experience…you have yours. Perhaps you have done a traffic survey so share your sources.

    #1281417

    zaltzvasser
    Participant

    hey, what happened to rebbyid23’s parentheses?

    #1282116

    mik5
    Participant

    Let us look at the words of the great Gaon and Tzaddik, Rabbi Zilberstein shlita, and the great Gaon and Tzaddik, one of the poskei hador, the Shevet Halevi: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/398088/rav-yitzchak-zilberstein-says-women-should-not-drive-as-it-compromises-tzniyus.html

    #1282119

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    Why derail the topic? Start a NEW topic if you want to discuss whether women should drive.

    #1282127

    Little Froggie
    Participant

    Someone needs to be the backseat driver. And I can’t do it. I don’t have a license.

    #1282133

    apushatayid
    Participant

    “In Williamsburg, and to a bit lesser extent in Boro Park, you’ll rarely see local frum women ever driving.”

    When July rolls around, they are driving all over Sullivan County.

    #1282147

    Joseph
    Participant

    Not the Willi women.

    #1282157

    iacisrmma
    Participant

    My wife usually drives as she is the better driver.

    #1282168

    catch yourself
    Participant

    My wife is an excellent driver, but she does not like to drive, so she usually prefers to be a passenger.

    #1282605

    apushatayid
    Participant

    Joseph surely knows this as fact, because he is Joseph and he said so, so, it must be so. Our own female summer neighbors who hail from willi must not really be driving, their husbands must have some sort of remote device that controls the car.

    #1282677

    Hock Master
    Participant

    PASHUT!!!!
    MENS KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!
    IM NOT CHOPPING THE HAVA AMINA?

    #1282694

    Joseph
    Participant

    “Hails”? I’m speaking of those who live in the community; not those that left it.

    #1285226

    MDG
    Participant

    CTL,
    Mazal Tov on your daughter’s upcoming marriage.
    May they build בית נאמן בישראל.

    #1285256

    rebshidduch
    Participant

    After driving every day for hours on end give the lady a break!

    #1285285

    chabadgal
    Participant

    this has nothing to do with being frum. also non Jewish people usually end up driving like this. it is just the way it happens.

    #1285897

    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Joseph,

    As you likely noticed, when you see a frum husband and wife in the front seats of a car or other motor vehicle you will generally see, in the vast majority of the times, the husband in the driver’s seat. This is even the case among frum families where women are permitted to drive.

    Why do you think this is the case?

    Because husbands are required to honor their wives more than themselves, so it makes sense for them to serve as the chauffeurs. 🙂

    #1285948

    Joseph
    Participant

    Avram,

    But the halacha is also that a wife must “honor her husband to an extreme degree and the fear of him should be on her and she should do all her deeds according to what he says and he should be in her eyes as a ruler or king. (Rambam Hilchos Ishus 15:20)

    Considering that, how does your point still stand?

    #1285958

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Considering that, how does your point still stand?

    Makes perfect sense. When he insists on honoring her by being her chauffeur, she has to listen.

    #1285965

    Joseph
    Participant

    How can one acquiesce for their King to act as their chauffeur?

    #1285991

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Not King, king.

    How can she not acquiesce? We’re dealing with a king who is commanded to treat his queen with more respect than he treats himself.

    #1286030

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    (Note to Wolf: Yes, we know, sometimes your wife drives you.)

    Since my status was already determined before my birth, does it really matter if I transgress this minor deed or not?

    The Wolf

    #1286043

    bmyer
    Participant

    “This is even the case among frum families where women are permitted to drive.”

    Joseph: I know plenty of families that the wife is the primary driver..it’s usually just whoever likes driving more / whoever is more comfortable driving..and that’s how it should be…

    #1286040

    bmyer
    Participant

    “She’ll be trading in the convertible for a married lady’s car suitable for hauling groceries, etc.”

    CTL: What’s wrong with hauling groceries in a convertible?

    #1286684

    yourfriend
    Participant

    i think that there may be another explanation.
    sometimes it really drives the men crazy when women drive. that’s just how it is. but the woman doesn’t mind however the husband drives, for some reason. i’m not explaining why, just stating that i think this may be true.

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