January 26, 2022 9:39 am at 9:39 am #2054840Ephraim BeckerParticipant
I’m on the autism spectrum as you very well know from my previous posts. I don’t want the “Sholom aleichem rav yid + hard pat on the back” style just like modern orthodox. Modern Orthodox isn’t open about revealing autism diagnosis but I heard that chabad does. A problem is that I adopted saying the tafs when I switched to modern Orthodox from ultra and chabad says the safs even in Israel. I started wars with people in my carpool about why tafs are better than safs and that most Jews say the tafs. I know chabad has the friendship circle so that’s something good but I don’t really see native chabad people in the five town’s one.January 26, 2022 12:46 pm at 12:46 pm #2054889
Try it, maybe I will see you putting on tiphillin on some random person!
edited (sorry)January 26, 2022 12:50 pm at 12:50 pm #2054932hujuParticipant
Chabad is excellent for you and all other Jews.January 26, 2022 1:00 pm at 1:00 pm #2054954AviraDeArahParticipant
If I said chaim Berlin is good for all jews, you’d think I’m myopic
editedJanuary 26, 2022 1:09 pm at 1:09 pm #2054965ujmParticipant
Check Yelp.January 26, 2022 1:09 pm at 1:09 pm #2054964GadolhadorahParticipant
On the social interaction issues of concern to you, it will vary tremendously between local chabad groups and individual shalichim.January 26, 2022 1:29 pm at 1:29 pm #2054981Reb EliezerParticipant
We have a saf, siyan and samech, otherwise how would we write כסילים מתי תשכילו when we the fools understand.January 26, 2022 1:33 pm at 1:33 pm #2054961AviraDeArahParticipant
Ephraim, my heart goes out to you. You’re a sensitive man who’s looking for acceptance in a world that shies away from open and honest discussions of mental health. I respect you and commend tou for that, and for still keeping the mitzvos despite feeling out of place in the frum community. Chazal ve’amatz!
I would caution against associating with a group – any group – solely on the basis of their rumored level of acceptance of people with ASD. I’d suggest rather, a yeshiva or particular shul that is such, and that is on the same level of your own observance (or oerhaps a step above – we all want to grow). Rabbi Moshe Wise (not to be confused with rabbi Moshe meir weiss) has a beis nedrash in marine park where there are several types of young frum men, some of whom are on the spectrum; maybe you can look into learning there at night?January 26, 2022 2:05 pm at 2:05 pm #2054975EJMRBroParticipant
I think those Frum Jews who are in the autism and aspersers community would have a better insight on this issue. Again you are going to be getting advice from presumably neurotypical people on this forum (I don’t think anyone has elected to self identify as on the spectrum here). Each chabad is different much like how every community is different and it depends on what type of relationships you are looking to foster.
It could be you don’t know yet and thats fine.
In general like anyone trying to find their space, this will be a trial and error type of process.
I wish you only the best of luck.January 26, 2022 2:51 pm at 2:51 pm #2055070
Slightly off topic, but I went to HCS Shabboton on Parshas Beshalach and there were over 700 couples there most of children who are on the ASD, please don’t say the black hat and Chasdish don’t provide support.January 26, 2022 4:42 pm at 4:42 pm #2054878ujmParticipant
Switch back to Saf. (As an aside, you shouldn’t have switched in the first place.)
Most people don’t keep Shabbos, either.January 31, 2022 9:19 am at 9:19 am #2056284Ephraim BeckerParticipant
It will confuse me when I move to Israel as Chabad says saf there as well.January 31, 2022 11:45 am at 11:45 am #2056334
that should be the worse thing to happen to youFebruary 1, 2022 10:14 pm at 10:14 pm #2056892Politically IncorrectParticipant
In E”Y most people use taf in conversational Hebrew and saf when using lashon kodesh- davening, laining etc. Does chabad use the saf in conversational Hebrew as well?February 3, 2022 1:50 pm at 1:50 pm #2057364erParticipant
I agree with what aviradearah says above but add the following:
Even if we find a movement or group we feel comfortable with hashkafically and religiously, people are people, and so you’ll find variation. Don’t worry though, that’s a beautiful thing. Best to find a shul where you feel accepted and valued. Don’t expect everyone to treat you exactly the way you dream of; nobody gets that treatment, spectrum or not. Better yet, if you can find a chavrusa to connect with and learn with every day -someone who understands you- that may be the best way to find your home. The rest will follow. Just like you don’t feel part of a group, most other people too have their own identities, even if they also strongly identify with a group. Value people, just like you seek others to value you.February 16, 2022 12:50 pm at 12:50 pm #2061074funnyoneParticipant
Chabad is open to all people and from experience they will not make a big deal about tof/saf. That should be the least of your worries when you try it out.
Not sure which area you’re in but there might even be more than one Chabad place and definitely try it out!
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