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At Shcarchis for the past weeks where I daven sometimes they have been putting up a mechitzah so a woman can say kaddish for her father which passed a few months a go in undertone. It seems to be bothering people in my shul. I never taught anything of it is is their any halachic issues with it? I know for a fact its not a issue of kol ishia beyond that I do not know.
I tend to have more sympathy for the retarded things people do when they’re in pain.
It’s a machlokes haposkim. R’ Moshe was against it. R’ Heinkin held of it. The rabbi of the shul should be making these decisions.
Rav Moshe talks about this in OC(5) 12:2. He says women did say kaddish but the tshuvah is more focused on a mechitza for one or two women . see it here (http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=922&st=&pgnum=66&hilite=)
What did the Rav of the shule say? If it’s OK with him then let the people grumble.
Yitay: where did you hear or see Rav Moshe say that he was against it?
sam4321 –
That’s a great mareh makom. Thanks.
Popa- I know you’re a moderator and I mean no offense by this, but in the real world, we don’t use the word “retarded.” Please stop using this word, it’s really offensive, and I’m going to leave the coffee room if the mods allow this word to be used.
I used to be the gabbai at a small minyan, and one time a woman came with her usband, wanting to say kaddish. I asked the Rav, and he said she could as long as a man was saying it also – she couldn’t be the only one.
thats right so long as it makes you feel good who cares about halacha/hashkofo. after all the torah was meant to be manipulated as we see fit.(anybody wonder why klal yisroel has so many issues? maybe if we sincerely strove to do what is right rather than seeking approbattions for whatever we do, things might be a little different
kfb: The whole mod 80/popa thing was a joke.
I don’t see anything wrong with what I’m doing, and I’m not going to stop unless someone convinces me. If the mods want to ban me, they can do that. If the threaten to ban me, I might or might not stop.
sam4321 –
I don’t remember, I have to check into it. But you’re right that teshuva definitely seems not that way. Anyway R’ Henkin held it was fine as long as the woman is observant, you can find the details of that teshuva by Google-ing it.
maybe someone in the shul can take it upon themselves to say the kaddish for the woman’s father. I am sure she would be so appreciative. and yes, in our kehilla, men have said kaddish for pple that can’t.
Maybe she’d rather have someone who had a connection to her father say Kaddish rather than a stranger. IIRC the mourners Kaddish was instituted for mourners who were ineligible to be a Shliach Tzibur.
From what I was taught, there is nothing halachically assur for a woman to say kaddish. While it is not usual for her to do so, neither is she forbidden from doing so in a tzniusdig manner.
Kaddish for an aveil is the verbal affirmation of Hashem’s greatness at a time when people could potentially chalilah have a “tainah” to Him for taking away their loved one. It is just as important for a woman to accept Hashem’s decree, as it is for a man. And if it gives her nechoma to actively show her acceptance and also show kovod to her deceased love one and feel she is helping the iluy of the neshama, who are we to criticize, when it is within the parameters of the halacha?
Personally, I would prefer to have a male whom I know will faithfully attend the minyan every day saying Kaddish on my behalf, but I know a woman who faithfully came to shacharis every 6 AM weekday (and hashkama minyan on Shabbos)for 11 months after her mother died in order to say Kaddish, with the Rov’s haskamah. She was very makpid not to miss the davening (I believe she made mincha and maariv, too, but I cannot swear to it).
In Lithuania it was common for women to say kaddish, sometimes standing in the back (yes, at the back of the men’s section) to say kaddish for a loved one.
The common custom is to ask a man who does or can say kaddish to say it, and the woman says kaddish along with the man or men. The woman need not say all the kadeishim, certainly not the kaddish d”rabbonons.
It should not bother the men at all. If the men are not used to it, they will adjust to it in due time, it is not a big deal.
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