wording to decline a hand shake?

Oomis: She was a P’nuyah. N’giyah is Muttar. That’s the real P’shat in the story.

Interjection: That’s Yichud. N’giyah according to almost all Rishonim is D’oraisa.

Interjection: No. They are because it is Assur to have any pleasure from any interaction with a woman who is forbidden to you (including a Niddah).

And yes, technically the Avos could violate Halachah before Mattan Torah. But we assume that they didn’t unless we are forced to say otherwise. And the Shvatim marrying their sisters isn’t explicit in the P’sukim and is also probably a Machlokes Hamidrashim (and also a bit against the P’sukim that tell us that Y’hudah married the Adulami’s daughter.)

Go to shake, then pull away, put your thumb against the tip of your schnoz, waving your fingers in a silly and random fashion, and make the sound one makes when breaking wind with your mouth! It can’t be worse than what most goyim think of Jews. At least they’ll just think you’re meshugah!

I just say ‘I try to keep my hands to myself’. Usually gets a laugh. But that’s in New York, where it’s really not news to too many people.

By the way, there are answers to all the questions: The twins that were married to the ????? some say were all from different mothers, and the ???? ????? says that ????? of a ?? ?? goes after the mother.

This also explains how ????? married ???? — ???? [according to the ????”?] was conceived by ???, and swapped as a fetus with ???? into ???. Therefore they were only paternally related, which wasn’t a problem. [???]

This will ALSO explain how ???? married two sisters — the ??? ?????? says that both sisters were only half sisters from ??? – they had different mothers. ?’ ???? ??????? in ??? ???? says that therefore they could both marry the same man.

Yekke: That’s against the famous Ramban (and several other Rishonim) who point out that Ya’akov couldn’t be married to two sisters. And talking about Chiyuvim for B’nei Noach doesn’t help. We assume the Avos kept Kol Hatorah Kulah like B’nei Yisrael. So yes, it was before Mattan Torah so there’s technically no Issur. But the question still stands.

And the Midrash seems to look down on the fact that Shimon married Dinah (it says that they did a Ma’aseh that was done by the K’na’anim).

Sam2: I hope I can explain it as well as my husband explained it to me. No one person can possibly fulfill all 613 mitzvot by oneself. Some mitzvot are meant for men, some for women, some for converts, etc.. There is a shlaimus we achieve through keeping the mitzvot. When Yaakov said ‘im Lavan garti’ (meaning that he kept the Taryag mitzvot) he was saying that he had achieved the same shleimus as if he had kept the full 613. He achieved whatever level can be attained through fulfilling the mitzvot. He did not actually follow the pshat of all 613 of the mitzvot (which is impossible in any case) but he was as complete of a person as if he had.

My husband explained with more sources but I’m not so learned so I’m repeating what i remember from what he said.

Yentingyenta- I had worked with lots of goyim and this worked well for me. “please understand out of respect to women people in my community don’t shake hands with the opposite gender other than close family”

You’ll be shocked at the responses. C’mon, everyone knows what goes in the world out there, it all starts with touch, and our Torah which understands the human better than anything lhavdil has created guidelines for us not to come to an aveira c”v.

A little story. My friends father is a very well to do business man. One day he had to meet with some people and the leader amongst them was a woman. There was a very large deal they would discuss. The woman walked in and stretched out her hand to shake his. He calmy said, “out of respect to women I don’t shake hands with women other than close family”. This woman was so impressed with his commitment to his religion that she did the business deal with him. You don’t lose when you do the right thing and explain yourself so they understand, and youll be surprised how they will respect you for adhering to your beliefs.

Isn’t the translation of a niddah, any woman who a man is forbidden to? I assumed Niddah to be an adjective (that she is a niddah towards other men) but you just translated it as a noun (that it becomes her identity).

The word you are looking for is “ervah” if the cause is due to familial relationship. I’m not aware of a word (other than “forbidden” itself) to describe a forbidden relationship not due to familial relationships.

The Wolf

Because she’s a nidda if single and an eishes ish (and nidda) if married.

rabbiofberlin: ‘Lo sikrevu’ pertaining to acts of closeness such as touching is the exact same phrase that refers to the actual prohibited intimate relationship. Therefore, in the same way that women are directly instructed in the latter, they are also included in the former.

The line I’ve used is “for religious reasons, my wife doesn’t shake hands with men, and I don’t shake hands with women”. By first mentioning that my wife doesn’t shake hands with men, I’ve avoided making them think that I think that women are lesser than I am.

FWIW, I can also say that I was told by a well-known Rosh Yeshiva, widely accepted as one of the premier Poskim in the American Yeshivish world, that if it’s necessary, I can shake hands with a woman in a business context, since it’s not Derech Chiba. Accordingly, when necessary or to avoid causing offense (such as when traveling in Europe, where religious restrictions are not as widely accepted), I’ll shake a woman’s extended hand – though I’ll not extend mine first.

Good luck to you,

an Israeli Yid

Rabbi of Berlin: Rashi on the Pasuk of ‘Lo Sikrevu’ (Vayikra 18:6) answers your question stating that ‘Lo Sikrevu’ is written in the plural (in contradistinction to the beginning of the Pasuk ‘Ish ish…'[Sifsei Chachomim]) specifically to include women in the Issur.

@Think first

This woman was so impressed with his commitment to his religion that she did the business deal with him.

I am reminded of when NYT ran a column a number of years ago (don’t know if they still do) called The Ethicist (IIRC) and there was a huge raging discussion about a situation where a woman wanted to “tear up a contract” because the frum guy who she signed it with wouldn’t shake her hand, and she was offended. (Tearing up the contract, btw, would not help her AFAIK – once you sign, you’ve signed.)

I do not shake hands. But people will sometimes be respectful, and sometimes not. You can help by being respectful and menschlich about everything yourself, but it’s not all in your hands (ouch!).

This incident sounds apocryphal but is so common it actually happened to me – when I explained that I wouldn’t shake hands for religious reasons, someone said, “Oh, so you’re shomer negiah?” I found it amusing that I was looking for ways to phrase it just right and they had smoothly figured it out already.

rabbi of berlin: I do not understand your point at all. Once that Pasuk refers to women as inferred from the plural, all its connotations refer to women including the issur of kurvah derived from Lo Sikrevu. It’s that simple surely.

On the ball – he is a Rosh Yeshiva that all were recently saying Tehilim for and who had a name added. He has now BH made a remarkable recovery (my sons saw him in Camp Agudah this summer). I was his Talmid many years ago when he gave the Chulin shiur in Yeshiva. Does that give you enough of a hint?

an Israeli Yid