Worrying about something that someone 16 should not be worrying about

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  • #614894

    RayofLight
    Member

    Hi everyone.

    Maybe you remember me from the autism spectrum support thread, but if not that’s okay.

    Anyway, I have this problem that I am overworrying about something that no 16 year old should be worrying about.

    I have this good friend, who I became practically best friends with last year when she found me in middle of one of the biggest rough patches in my life. It was actually real siyatta dishmaya since I wouldn’t of found her unless we hadn’t gotten assigned seats in our english class (5 classes in my grade and we all have a different schedule so we end up with random people in every class) Anyway, she is Chassidish and has already out in the shadchanim books. I mean she hasn’t actually been on a date yet, but she would get married tomorow if she could.

    Anyway, I am just overly worried of losing her as a friend…

    I mean how many 16 year olds best friends get married??!?

    I know there is no current basis for this but I am really worried. We ar really good friends and I know how much she wants and needs to get married…

    I want her to get married, I know that this is the one thing she really needs in life, as she doesnt feel any joy with being around girls and has always wanted a boy. I feel for her, I know this is her biggest dream. But I love her so much and could not imagine my life without her.

    Any ways I could try to calm myself down about this, accept this..

    I have a problem in general leaving or being left by freidns, I take it WAY to hard. In general about this does anyone have any advice???

    #1060380

    aproudbyg
    Participant

    Just because she is getting married doesnt mean your relashenship will have to stop. it most liekly wont be the same as before,for she will be a married woman,but she will still want and need friends. Dont let her feel bad about dating or marriage because you will miss her,tell her you are os excited for her nexr stage and look forward to being able to help her,or encourage when or if she will need,dont make her feel bad about it.

    start wtih the mindset now,as you ahve.that its not forever but just differnt.you will be friends,just she will have a ultimate best friend as well when she gets married

    #1060381

    flatbusher
    Participant

    I would wonder what a 16 year old girl is doing on the Internet in the middle of the day. At any rate, yes, you can remain friends but I doubt you will have many common interests once she gets married. Make other friends. There are a lot people out there, you need only to reach out.

    #1060383

    Aproudbyg referenced it.

    Invest in your relationship. Friendship takes time and effort. Surely she will need friendly support when entering the parsha – help her out and be there for her. This will increase your friendship bond, and that won’t be stopped by her marriage. Of course it will be different, but married people need friends too.

    Hatzlacha,

    DQB

    #1060385

    RayofLight
    Member

    Not USA time, that would be why.

    Thanks for the advice so far, I spoke to her about it today, and she knows I am going to miss her, she tried to assure me that she’ll come to school after she gets engaged (although that it not our school’s policy, she was given special permission for being chassidish) and we’ll stilll be friends…

    But I don’t know! What’s it like anyway? Such a relashenship? Anyone care to share expiriences!?

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