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I have a choice to send my son to a Yeshiva in town or abroad in Israel. Does anyone have any advice?
South Africa.
Gotta check up on supper but some starting questions: how old is he, what’s his chevra like,, are they moving on, what does his rebbe/rosh yeshiva/mashgiach think.
Why don’t you decide on the yeshiva and not on the location.
Isn’t this similar to seminary decisions? Both decide the type of chinuch and enviorment the child will be receiving for the next several months/years. What does he want? What yeshiva matches up with his “type”(in all areas including friends)? What does his rabanim tell him and if you dont know, ask them! The location in regard to the enviorment that will be offered, such as: what do the locals do during breaks/vacations? what are the locals hashkafas? Maybe make a chart and compare the yeshivos, rather then the idea of foreign or local.
This is NOT similar to seminary decisions. Throughout the ages, men/bochurim have been leaving home to learn whereas women always stayed home. Besides for hora’as sha’ah such as when Sara Shenirer had girls coming to her Bais Yaakov from all over Poland, there is no reason for girls to go away. They can set up seminaries all over the U.S. and only certain girls who live in small communities should travel. No need to spend the year away from home. If you want to go to E”Y, go for the summer. I don’t feel I missed out by staying at home for sem just a few years ago. My brothers went to E”Y for Yeshiva and we girls stayed home where we belong.
It’s not exactly like sems. Sem starts in September, and applications are taken the previous November/December, with decisions being made (if the girls get in) in February/March.
So I assume you have a boy about 20, 20+. Does he need supervision, all the meals taken care of, etc.? If so, does this yeshiva deliver? It’s interesting that Rabbi Green of Monsey, shlit”a, a few weeks ago in Hamodia said that boys don’t necessarily have to learn in E”Y. (And kal vachomer for this girls, but this isn’t going to become a sem bashing thread, right? Let’s stay on topic.) As it happens, though, many do, and if this is the zman his chevra is going (and I’m totally mispael that you can do this so last minute, but kol hakavod. I guess I’ll see when my boys get old enough.) and you see that he would end up there eventually, then maybe he should go now.
Do you have relatives in E”Y, or good friends, someone to be an informal big brother? Do you have some shaichus to the staff of the yeshiva? Because if not, do develop it and keep in touch on a regular basis. Yeah, he’s old enough to be on his own, and there may be a fair chance his next stop will be Lakewood so he’s almost old enough to get married, but we as parents still need to hover ever so gently.
Hatzlacha and kesiva v’chasima tova.
One thing you should know, if they’re out of town- they dont have adequate supervision, no matter how strict the Yeshiva is. Thats why, you have to know your son, does he need that extra supervision?
That’s not to say that you shouldnt send him.
Personally, for the right boys, it’s very healthy to be out of town. It teaches them social and organizational skills, independence, and more. My husband and all my brothers, and in laws learned in Eretz Yisroel, and they couldnt have had a better experience Baruch Hashem. But again, for others- it just gives them too much independence and it does not bring them too much good.
It’s a big decision, and whatever you do- Hatzlacha Rabbah!
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