Your children weren’t meant to be a korbon Pesach.

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  • #1712499

    Haimy
    Participant

    Some frum households become so tense before Pesach you can cut the tension with a knife. Bachurim in Yeshiva don’t want to go home knowing how sleep deprived & nervous their parents are according to a veteran Mechanech. You can have a 100% kosher for Pesach home without all the stress. Let’s not sacrifice our children’s mental health & chavivus Hamitzva for the sake of a chumra. Make sure there’s enough food around for them even though your busy with cleaning. Children should have fond memories of Pesach preparation, not Ch’v the opposite.

    #1712525

    ftresi
    Participant

    Totally agree. I hate to say it but I have come to absolutely hate Pesach. I forget who but a famous rav once was quoted saying not to make Pesach so kosher that it’s not sameach. We unfortunately personify that to a tee. And. I can tell you my home is anything but sameach until after Pesach is over. And I’m powerless to change anything (I’ve been trying for years)

    #1712524

    Joseph
    Participant

    Is this an advertisement for Pesach hotels?

    #1712539

    Sam Klein
    Participant

    This is each person’s nisayon with Hashem in the season of Pesach until it’s over. Accepting each step of the yom tov with love and doing it for the mitzva to serve Hashem.

    Every yom tov has its own tests and trials. Work on them and I wish you only success to pass all of them with love. Acyrr yom tov is over make a honest account what you feel you get from 1 to 100 in preparing and doing all of its mitzvas with love and being mechanech our children in the mitzvas too

    #1712597

    ftresi
    Participant

    Not at all. My other half would still going nuts cleaning the house even if we went away. As much as I hate Pesach at home, I do NOT want to spend it in a hotel either

    #1712601

    ftresi
    Participant

    Its an advertisement to the women to not make simchas Yom Tov a hostage to your unnecessary need to clean every inch of the house when there’s absolutely no need to do so.

    Do your spring cleaning at your leisure AFTER Pesach

    #1712645

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Its an advertisement to the women to not make simchas Yom Tov a hostage to your unnecessary need to clean every inch of the house when there’s absolutely no need to do so.

    Do your spring cleaning at your leisure AFTER Pesach

    Which parts of Pesach cleaning do you think are necessary, which aren’t necessary but commendable, and which are completely overkill?

    #1712629

    lost in Europe
    Participant

    to ftresi:
    It was the Bostoner Rebbetzin that said it.
    I didn’t see this hysteria growing up and I thank my mother for that. I think it’s the men that over do it. they learn the chumraqs and bring home this craziness and pressure. There are many times I threaten my husband that I will call his maggid shiur and tell him how his shiurim on Pesach are making terrible shalom bayis problems!
    This is NOT wht Hashem wants from us!

    #1712744

    iacisrmma
    Participant

    Lost I europe: First I remind my wife to clean for Pesach not spring cleaning. Second, a poseik in my community has stressed many leniencies in cleaning (so no, it’s not always the husbands that come home with chumros). Only rooms that you know had chametz brought into them need to be cleaned. If you never move your stove or refrigerator you dont have to move them to clean for pesach (as I heard from the poseik).

    #1712981

    Avram in MD
    Participant

    ftresi,

    “Not at all. My other half would still going nuts cleaning the house even if we went away. As much as I hate Pesach at home, I do NOT want to spend it in a hotel either”

    I think your poor attitude and resentment towards your wife is much more damaging than her “going nuts” cleaning. If housecleaning (organizing, weeding out unneeded things, scrubbing soap scum in the shower, etc.) is causing delays or stress in Pesach prep, then perhaps you can offer to help with housecleaning in Shevat or Adar, so that Nissan need not be overloaded. A clean house is much easier to check for chometz than a messy one. If she is feeling miserable because of the Pesach cleaning, mention your concern to her and if appropriate, point out what’s required and what’s not. Otherwise, take a deep breath and realize that not everything in life is going to be fun, so make the best of it. And thank her – she is taking a huge burden off of you by doing the cleaning.

    #1712985

    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Haimy,

    “Bachurim in Yeshiva don’t want to go home knowing how sleep deprived & nervous their parents are according to a veteran Mechanech.”

    How about the bochrim go home, roll up their sleeves, and pitch in so their parents can get some sleep?

    #1713225

    iacisrmma, are you certain your rov told you “Only rooms that you know had chametz brought into them need to be cleaned”?

    Is it possible he told you, “Rooms that you are certain you did not bring in chometz – do not need to be cleanned”, maybe that is what the rov said? There is a huge difference!

    In any event the accepted halacha is we also do bedika in such rooms, as stated at http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=46447&st=&pgnum=115&hilite=

    “All places that are used throughout the year that there is a possability that chometz was brought into them, require bdika. FN1. And even places that one is certain that chometz was never eaten there, still require bedika, because we are concerned that he entered these places while eating with chometz in hand and he forgot the chometz there.FN2”
    FN 1 – S.A s. 431.ss.3 etc.
    FN2 – Rav S,A. ss. 13, Kaf Hachayim ss. 25.

    Also you wrote, “If you never move your stove or refrigerator you dont have to move them to clean for pesach (as I heard from the poseik).”

    I am certain you have a reliable possek, but maybe you misunderstood him, because that is not the accepted halacha as stated in
    http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=46447&st=&pgnum=135&hilite=

    “A fridge, if it isn’t too much of a bother to move it from its place and check below it, one should do a bedika there on eve of 14 by candle as normal, but since it is difficult to do so much all on eve of 14, it is enough to clean the area beneath them well, preferably one should do so several days before pessach, by moving them from their place and cleaning there, and before returning to their place, to do a bedika at night by candle.” (Clearly the fridge must be moved, but no need to do so on eve of 14, it can be done prior, both to clean it and then to do a bedika under fridge).

    I only write this so that other readers shouldn’t follow the halachos you posted without consulting a reliable possek.

    #1713302

    akuperma
    Participant

    If you are a ewe, I would think that having your child as a korban pesach would be a great honor.

    #1713706

    A simple solution to the “pessach Crisis” – sell your entire house for pessach and build your sukkah in the backyard or driveway!

    Live in a sukkah for the yom tov!

    A few appliances like fridge and stove and a working sink in the corner and you are good to go! No stress! Ho hassel!

    Forget hotels! This will be family time bonding. It’s like camping out!

    Remember, sukkos was “supposed” to be in Nisson, but was pushed off till fall season.

    Let’s get the hammer and nails and start building our sukkah.

    #1713790

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Rebbitzen, why not just make it easier and use a regular tent?

    #1713796

    Instead of an oven, we use a bar-b-que inside the sukkah (which can be left on for yom tov. The ventilation in a sukkah is better than a tent.

    Besides, a sukkah feels so much more yom-tov-dik then a tent which is so weekday-ish.

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