aishes chover

Sounds tough. If you let me know which hospital, I may be able to help with accommodations/meals/places for kids/babysitters.

may be difficult to do anonymously

Rising Sun, I’m sorry you’re going through such a painful time right now. I remember feeling hated by certain teachers; it was awful. I wish I could share a couple of incidents with you where I was publicly humiliated by those teachers, but it would violate some people’s privacy, mostly my own.

At a certain point, though, I realized that the teachers were only projecting their own painful inadequacies and insecurities onto me, and their attitude toward me was in no way a reflection of my worth. Even though they were already adults, their unresolved issues caused them to behave like kids, hurting others when their pain surfaced.

Actually, noticing which situations or behaviors triggered their hurtful actions was very revealing. It helped me understand some of their flaws and how they must be struggling because of them. This helped me see my teachers as humans who had to struggle to overcome their own painful and difficult feelings the same way everyone else must.

Then I didn’t feel they hated me; at those moments that they hurt me, they were just people in terrible pain. When someone is in pain, you understand that whatever they say is just their pain exploding and has nothing to do with you.

The realization that my teachers’ hurtful words stemmed from their own deficiencies freed me of any negativity toward them. I am very grateful to have learned this about people at a young age; my life is clearly positively impacted both personally and professionally from having this viewpoint.

Oy, those don’t sound too heimish, but I’ll try them anyway.

My husband’s favorites are my kids’ leftovers; that’s why I make sure to serve it to him every night.

rising sun and hummingbird: You have my admiration!

You want them to say it like it is? What kind of world do you think we live in?

Yekke: I assume you haven’t got a copy on hand, so I just checked it.

(my understanding:) ‘Acharei’ introduces a turning point; hence, the fact that Yaakov was now ‘choleh’ means something had changed in his situation. What changed? Before, he was ‘approaching death’, but now he is a ‘Choleh’.

What’s the difference between the two? The letter ‘ches’ indicates movement that is impeded while the letter ‘ayin’ denotes unimpeded elevation (think ‘nun-ayin’ and ‘nun-ches’).

An ‘oleh’ ascends by his own power (“lifeless matter sinks; only the force of life elevates the living” p.847).

When something prevents a person from elevating himself, that person is a ‘choleh’. Yaakov had transitioned into this status.

Prior to this, Rav Hirsch explains the bowing back toward the head of the bed:

Yaakov was seated in the middle of the bed, Yosef was facing him at the foot of the bed, and Yaakov bowed toward the head of the bed (backward). “It was a devotional act of thanksgiving to G-d, Who had guided him throughout his life and had brought him to this goal” (of succeeding in doing the last thing he had to do on earth.) (“Just as Eliezer prostrated himself before G-d when he had accomplished his mission, so did Yaakov here.”)

miritchka, then I am one of the few who can talk while applying eyeliner!

For example, I can say, “One second,” or, “Give me a minute to finish, then I’ll talk to you.”