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Okay I’ve been reading this thread and I have a different perspective to offer.
Your son wants to “max out.” This is actually a beautiful middah. Hakodosh Boruch Hu gave him ambition, he wants to be the best version of himself — we just need to do a little… redirection. A little rerouting of the GPS, if you will.
I have therefore taken the liberty of compiling the following list:LEGITIMATE MAXXING OPTIONS FOR THE FRUM BOCHUR
Shteigmaxxing — Hours per day in the beis medrash. No equipment required. No hammer. The “bonesmashing” equivalent is a hard Tosafos that breaks your brain and rebuilds it stronger. This is actually how it works, unlike the face thing.
Davenmaxxing — Full kavana, every word, no skipping Pesukei D’Zimra. Advanced users attempt this on a Monday morning. The gains are enormous.
Chavrusa Looksmaxxing — Finding the chavrusa with the best bekius AND the best pilpul. Mogging someone in learning is 100% permitted and arguably encouraged. “He mogged me on the third perek” is a sentence I want to hear from your son.
Minhag Maxing — Taking on a new chumra every week until your wife files a formal complaint with the Rav. This is a well documented phenomenon and needs no further elaboration.
Kiddush Maxxing — Self explanatory. Many fathers have been doing this since 1987 without realizing it had a name.
Shabbos Shlufmaxxing — Already the most popular sport in most yeshivishe households. Your son is probably already elite level without even trying.
Mewing (Kosher Version) — Learning to be quiet. Pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth and leaving it there during an argument with your parents. Highly recommended. Godol hamaasseh.
Aura Farming (Retroactive Kashrification) — I still don’t know what this means but if someone can explain it to me I will find a way to make it about Elul.
Bone Smashing (The Authorized Version) — Beating your chest on Yom Kippur. Same concept, correct location, theologically sound. Al cheit she’chatanu.In all seriousness though — take the hammer.
The above was written with love for all bochurim everywhere including the ones with unconventional jawline improvement strategies.
Gut Voch.Re: Looksmaxing/Jawline Hitting – Please Help
Oy vey, where do I even begin.
First of all, refuah shleimah to your son’s face.
Listen, I hear you, and I want you to know you are NOT alone in this parsha. Every generation has its nisyonos and this generation’s nisayon apparently involves hitting themselves in the face with hardware tools. The Ribono Shel Olam is really testing us.
Now let’s be real here. Fidget spinners — fine. Aura farming — whatever that means, also fine (I still don’t know what it means and b’ezras Hashem I never will). But a hammer is where we draw the line as a klal. This is no longer a “phase,” this is a safety issue, and your parental instincts — which are essentially the kol d’mama daka of parenting — are 100% correct.
A few eitzos:
1. Don’t panic, but do confiscate the hammer. Immediately. No psak sheila needed on this one.
2. “Everybody is doing it” is the oldest line in the sefer. Did everybody jump off the Williamsburg Bridge? The correct response to “everybody is doing it” has been the same since Avraham Avinu — be the one who doesn’t.
3. Get a Rav involved. Not because this is a shaila per se, but because sometimes bochurim listen to their Rav when they won’t listen to their father. It’s a painful emes but an emes nonetheless.
4. Have a calm conversation about what’s actually driving this. Looksmaxing, from what I understand (my own son BH only told me about it after I found his Reddit history, long story), comes from a very dark corner of the internet that tells boys they are not good enough as they are. That’s the ikar problem. The hammer is just the symptom. A boy hitting himself in the face is a boy who needs to hear that he has tzelem Elokim and that no jawline is going to change that.
5. Limud zchus on the boy. He’s in 11th grade. This is a hard age. The yetzer hara is very creative and now apparently has a TikTok account.
Hatzlacha rabbah, and again — please take the hammer. really.Oy vey, where do I even begin.
First of all, refuah shleimah to your son’s face.
Listen, I hear you, and I want you to know you are NOT alone in this parsha. Every generation has its nisyonos and this generation’s nisayon apparently involves hitting themselves in the face with hardware tools. The Ribono Shel Olam is really testing us.
Now let’s be real here. Fidget spinners — fine. Aura farming — whatever that means, also fine (I still don’t know what it means and b’ezras Hashem I never will). But a hammer is where we draw the line as a klal. This is no longer a “phase,” this is a safety issue, and your parental instincts — which are essentially the kol d’mama daka of parenting — are 100% correct.
A few eitzos:
1. Don’t panic, but do confiscate the hammer. Immediately. No psak sheila needed on this one.
2. “Everybody is doing it” is the oldest line in the sefer. Did everybody jump off the Williamsburg Bridge? The correct response to “everybody is doing it” has been the same since Avraham Avinu — be the one who doesn’t.
3. Get a Rav involved. Not because this is a shaila per se, but because sometimes bochurim listen to their Rav when they won’t listen to their father. It’s a painful emes but an emes nonetheless.
4. Have a calm conversation about what’s actually driving this. Looksmaxing, from what I understand (my own son BH only told me about it after I found his Reddit history, long story), comes from a very dark corner of the internet that tells boys they are not good enough as they are. That’s the ikar problem. The hammer is just the symptom. A boy hitting himself in the face is a boy who needs to hear that he has tzelem Elokim and that no jawline is going to change that.
5. Limud zchus on the boy. He’s in 11th grade. This is a hard age. The yetzer hara is very creative and now apparently has a TikTok account.
Hatzlacha rabbah, and again — please take the hammer. really.Oy vey, where do I even begin.
First of all, refuah shleimah to your son’s face.
Listen, I hear you, and I want you to know you are NOT alone in this parsha. Every generation has its nisyonos and this generation’s nisayon apparently involves hitting themselves in the face with hardware tools. The Ribono Shel Olam is really testing us.
Now let’s be real here. Fidget spinners — fine. Aura farming — whatever that means, also fine (I still don’t know what it means and b’ezras Hashem I never will). But a hammer is where we draw the line as a klal. This is no longer a “phase,” this is a safety issue, and your parental instincts — which are essentially the kol d’mama daka of parenting — are 100% correct.
A few eitzos:
1. Don’t panic, but do confiscate the hammer. Immediately. No psak sheila needed on this one.
2. “Everybody is doing it” is the oldest line in the sefer. Did everybody jump off the Williamsburg Bridge? The correct response to “everybody is doing it” has been the same since Avraham Avinu — be the one who doesn’t.
3. Get a Rav involved. Not because this is a shaila per se, but because sometimes bochurim listen to their Rav when they won’t listen to their father. It’s a painful emes but an emes nonetheless.
4. Have a calm conversation about what’s actually driving this. Looksmaxing, from what I understand (my own son BH only told me about it after I found his Reddit history, long story), comes from a very dark corner of the internet that tells boys they are not good enough as they are. That’s the ikar problem. The hammer is just the symptom. A boy hitting himself in the face is a boy who needs to hear that he has tzelem Elokim and that no jawline is going to change that.
5. Limud zchus on the boy. He’s in 11th grade. This is a hard age. The yetzer hara is very creative and now apparently has a TikTok account.
Hatzlacha rabbah, and again — please take the hammer.