Limericks! (501 posts)
Started 5 months ago by blinky
Latest reply from His Royal Highness
Sorry Highness but as you can see, your last post was number 501. Post 500 was indeed mine! And this one is 502. Check.
And I cant go without this:
To be the first poster on a page
You dont need to be a real sage
At your keyboard keep pecking
And then keep on checking
Yossi Z please dont get in a rage :-)
My Dear Shticky Guy,
I know you must feel bad,
And be real sad,
That I defeated you at your game,
And you are merely trying to keep sane.
Now please log out,
And when you regain some streghnth,
Look again at the count.
Then log back in,
And notice the overcount by one,
For those who posted unto this thread.
And good luck for the next game!
To post here I haven't much time,
I'm busy with chometz and grime.
500 there are not,
so Shticky take your shot,
'cause many posts here do not rhyme!
Though it seems I have one foot out the door,
I just haven't the time to post anymore!
You have nothing to fear,
As I am quite still here,
And honored to take limerick 5 oh 4!!
Good Shabbos!
You people have talents unsurpassed
Reading through this is truly a blast
With humor & wit
Sarcasm just a bit
Hope this thread continues to last!
I'm sorry that I just upped and vanished
But the health of my back - it was banished.
Once again I can sit
At least for a bit.
But right now I really am famished.
Tomorrow I leave for vacation
To spend Seders with my relation(s)
Next month when I'm home
I no longer will roam
The Coffee Room's now my vocation.
Hi everyone: Sorry to have dropped off the face of the earth. I had a back problem that had me laid up for well over 4 months. B'H
I am much better now and I have wonderful friends who did every speck of shopping for me for weeks on end as I was unable to drive. Although my back will never be better, a combination of medications has allowed me to resume my life. The only side effect is that I sleep much later these days and have been unable to make it to morning minyan for 7:30 AM. Hopefully, as the weather gets warmer, I will be back to all of my activities. I realize now that we must live every day to its fullest and not postpone anything - so if all remains well with my health, I hope to make my first ever trip to Eretz this fall. If anyone knows of any tours for older first timers, please let me know. I wish all of you a freilich festival of freedom. Shalom - until next month.
Oy MG, OMG! Poor you. What a terrible story. Wow. ברוך רופא חולים! . And what great friends you have to help you like that. But its great to have you back amongst us. You must have been real bad if you were laid up for 4 months with nothing to do yet still unable to post in.
I once stepped in for you on I think page 5, and said that in the absence of minyan gal, minyan guy will have to step in, and I wrote a long limerick on sidras שמות-בשלח but you didnt respond.
None of this 'see you next month'. We want to see you much before that! Its back to business from now.
I'm beginning to feel very strange
Knowing how much I've shared,what a range!!
So my one request
Please be on your best
And don't speak of me as deranged!!
By journaling here for awhile
I focused IRL with a big smile
Now it's a "done deal"
Ahhh...some closure I feel
Looking forward to Pesach!!(Nile?)
I've no time to spend at my screen
Its just polish and vacuum and clean
Cos with small kids around
There's nowhere chometz cant be found
I am sure that you know what I mean
I am spending too much of my time
Finding cookie crumbs, bissli and grime
In every closet
There is a deposit
Which leaves me with no time to rhyme
Getting kids to help - some payback
Is like looking for needles in a haystack
With guests soon arriving
This place will be thriving
I wish you all Happy Paysach!
This thread it is truly asleep
To find it I dug down real deep
Then to get it alive
Took First Aid to revive
Cos its lying at the bottom of the heap.
Over פסח no one had the time
For composing a limerick or rhyme
Due to cleaning we were busy
From 4 כוסות we were dizzy
It was a huge mountain to climb.
Now I'll put this thread back to bed
It seems enough limericks have been said
I'll go join the debate
On sefira or William & Kate
But if YOU want to post here - go ahead!
PS MINYAN GAL ARE YOU NOT BACK YET?
Writing limericks i have been slack,
So now my brain i will try to rack,
I don't have much time,
To make up a rhyme,
But thank you Shticky for bring this back!
I see you mentioned Minyan's name,
Has she also rejoined the game?
I was concerned for her,
I hope shes better,
Without her it just wasn't the same.
If you go back 6 threads and give a 'blick'
You'll see back there minyan gal's been sick
She said back then that she
Will be back one two three
After Pesach back to the thread that makes her tick
But cos posting of limericks now is rotten
Its been so long since her post that you've forgotten
So post verses that soothe
No rough edges just smooth
Like silk, velvet or satin without cotton
Shticky, thanks for reviving this thread
Which has now on the list gone up ahead
The EMT that you are
As you've shown us so far
Go BACK and get minyan gal out of bed
Shticky suffers from amnesia,
so here is one more just to please ya'.
This thread's not robust,
not dead; it has just
a bit too much anesthesia.
Minyan gal, to us you're so dear
That is abundantly, supremely clear
So come BACK to us
Without making a fuss
Your presence is missed around here.
My vacation is over - that's all
And now I am feeling quite small.
I spent time with my eineklach
They are no longer kleineklach
At six foot four each, they're not small.
To kiss Bubbie they bend over in half
And everyone gets quite a laugh.
All except for me
Because as you see
I can no longer give them a bath.
So instead of a sitter who's strict
To the store I can them geshicht
They can both drive a car
And my chauffeurs they are
And Bubbie's wee face is gelicht.
Hi everyone. I am just catching up and wish to thank you all - it is nice to be missed. I have been home for just a few days as I had to extend my trip as I picked up some eastern bug and the doctor wouldn't let me fly. I promise to post some more very soon, but right now I am off to my shul - for the fund raising lottery and brunch. I know the food will be terrific, and I just need some mazel for the lottery. Efshar, I might have a chance as they have only printed 300 tickets and I don't know if they have all been sold. Stay tuned for further developments.
Hey, Minyan Gal, where've ya' been,
Not writing limericks is a big sin
Were so glad you're here
With a limerick to share
Welcome back, c'mon in!
Minyan Gal,
I hope you had some success,
You surely had fun, I would guess.
Did you win the lottery;
some cash or some pottery?
At least you had what to fress!
Hey whats the commotion I am hearing,
Are all the old rhymers reappearing?
We must not wait,
And quickly celebrate,
And stop this thread from disappearing!
blinky
Whom are you calling "old timer"
I'm certainly not an "old rhymer"
I'm actually quite new
So "How do you do"
On this 26th day of the עומר
A Baruch Habbah and hi
To the newest "am yisroel chai"
Thanx for the reminder,
You couldn't have been kinder,
And now I must log off- Bye!
AYC- you caught on real quick
Thanks for taking this thread as your pick
We can use some more rhymers
New ones or old timers
To make the limericks tick!
I am home from the lottery, friends.
My luck - it should make some amends.
But good food's in my tummy
The shul made some money
And I had a good time in the end.
(continued from my previous posting)
To a few spots I wanted to go
That were far from the places we know.
The GPS, it went on
And then we were gone.
Its called a "road trip" - they said so.
And now I am back home at last
A thousand miles I have passed.
I miss them all dearly,
The message comes clearly
I think I should move there - and fast.
So I'm trying to figure it out
The thought of a move gives me doubt.
I have friends and a shul here
But fam'ly is more dear
"Oh what should I do?" is my shout.
I will ask for advice from Hashem.
Do I pack up and move close to them?
Its a difficult choice
Can He hear my voice?
I must think it over again.
The kids need day camp for the summer,
But our cash situation's a bummer.
A bank we can't rob,
We just need a good job
O, why didn't I train as a plumber?
To Ursula:
My friend, it is never too late.
Education has no expiry date.
Off to school you could go
It would be hard, that I know
But the rewards it would bring are just great!
I know its too late for this year
But a dream should not disappear
With the help of your kin
You could just hop right in
And by fall, you're a freshman, my dear.
Minyan Gal:
The tuition might not be too steep,
And the knowledge will be mine to keep.
Now, I don't mean to shirk,
But words are my work,
And from Pepys to pipes' quite a leap!
Ursula:
A wordsmith you certainly are
More creative than fixing a car
Or changing a tap
With a wrench give a rap
But the money, it doesn't go far.
Mr.Pepys wrote a diary we know
And his fame it began to grow
Of course when he wrote it
He had to promote it
Back then the media was slow.
Minyan Gal:
If Sam P. had lived in our times,
He'd be blogging all day of his "crimes,"
But paper and pen
Made it much harder then
To record all his falls and his climbs.
Today's instant gratification
Would have given Sam great satisfaction
But a new career path
That might involve math
Is for me not a good course of action!
But your encouraging words were so sweet,
An appreciative soul did they greet,
It was so nice
That you answered twice
I hope for you, talent and salary meet.
Ursula:
At one time it really was true
My wages were great - whoo hoo!
But now I'm on pension
So no need to mention
My salary now makes me blue.
But I'm a lucky woman indeed.
I've money enough for my needs.
Two eineklach fine
I'm so happy they're mine
And can still give Tzedakah - its my creed.
The poetry, its just for fun.
It makes me proud when I've done
A thank you or invite
In meter thats just right
On every topic under the sun.
Way back when I was employed
I had a job I enjoyed.
I worked hard as a nurse,
But it did fill my purse.
And with words, I have always toyed.
OOh, I am very red-faced
At the mistake accidentally placed
In last night's verse
But it could be worse
No effort goes entirely to waste.
Someday "gratification" will be rhymed correctly,
The verse will be proofed circumspectly,
There will be no shame
In signing my name
To a line that rhymes AND scans perfectly.
To ursula and Minyan:
איזהו עשיר chazal had wrote,
That regarding wealth please do note,
Forget your mansion,
Or your wallet expansion,
שמח בחלקו i believe is the quote.
Blinky, to your mussar I must awaken,
Chazal's wisdom is never mistaken.
Our happiness grows
When our life goes
On the path Torah shows should be taken.
Chodesh Iyar on the day eighteen,
Celebrations worldwide can be seen,
Rashbi we admire,
Through dance and fire,
Its Lag Ba'omer that I mean.
My friends, I am once again learning.
For more personal growth I am burning.
And now Chabad's giving
The "Gift" of Shabbat living.
And for more Torah lore I am yearning.
Shabbos is truly a gift,
It gives our whole week a lift.
If only each Jew,
Would keep, consecutive, two,
Moshiach's arrival would follow, so swift.
I'm an early riser you know,
So early to bed I must go.
With Shabbat so late
I fear for the fate
Of my home - so I watch candles burn low.
So tell me please what I should do
When dinner and cleanup is through
I'm sleepy and tired
The flames aren't expired
Kindly give a suggestion or two.
One option for safety sublime
To keep flames from starting to climb
You could make early Shab-
bos, it's not such a job,
Us do it here all the time.
Go to a store you know
Purchase candles to glow
Divide each in half
I can see you laugh
They'll be out when it's time to go!
Another tack Minyan could consider
In order of worry to rid her,
Is a midday nap
So Shabbos won't sap
Her strength, and she'll stay up with her siddur.
Or guests you could invite to your home,
If far from their own they must roam.
The only price
For your company nice
Is that they watch til the flames say "Shalom!"
A midday nap is a pleasure
A period that I truly treasure.
But Friday's so busy
I'm just in a tizzy
No time for the moment of leisure.
I discussed with my Rabbi, the candles
He said its a mitzvah easy to handle.
He said it is besser to use
A sink - not a dresser
And not worry about fire - a vandal.
I shall have to continue to think
Of a solution that won't drive me to drink
Its really a pity
To place lichters so pretty
In my clean stainless steel kitchen sink.
For another good idea, you might say "thankee"
To a clever Yid, let's call him "Yanky,"
One place you could light
Candles on Friday night,
Is, as on Chanuka, in a fish tanky!
Cholent, kugel and kishe in a crock,
Is just one part of the Shabbos hock,
There is a better mood,
And its not just the food,
As this week is also Parshas Chazak!!
Goos Shabbos!!
It really would be just so fine
If all of us friends here on line
Could share one long table
If only we were able
To spend Shabbat together in real time.
I wish you a Shabbat of peace
Let all of your worries just cease.
With good friends around you
And food that astounds you
Let all of your mazel increase.
Shabbat Shalom to everyone.
The Limericks page is pareve and sweet.
It's where fun and intelligence meet.
Rhyming is easy,
The feeling is breezy,
And you can do it while resting your feet.
No feelings are hurt in the making
Of verses that are here for the taking
A short pleasant read
Fulfills a great need
To be giving, but nothing earthshaking.
I'm a day early, my message is good.
Tomorrow, no time for CR neighborhood.
My Shabbat wish: Shalom
For all in your home
And a prayer for Klal Yisroel if you would.
I guess ill post mine now too
Whether in US Israel or Rome
Wishing you all Shabbat Shalom,
No matter the location,
This weekly "vacation"
Will bring peace unto your home.
Minyan- I must have missed your Shabbos limerick from last week. I would be delighted to sit around your table!
To the Moderator known as Twenty
This thread has limericks plenty.
They are easy to do
Like to polish a shoe
And with one click, off they are senty.
There once was a man from Darjiling
who travelled all the way to Neeling
the sign on the door
said don't spit on the floor
so he carefully spat on the ceiling
Re: my last limerick
Some of my rhymes are quite silly
They flow through my mind - they are dillies.
Some are so deep
They could put you to sleep
All written by this Canadian filly.
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