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  • #1221577
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    Limericks! (501 posts)

    Started 5 months ago by blinky

    Latest reply from His Royal Highness

    Sorry Highness but as you can see, your last post was number 501. Post 500 was indeed mine! And this one is 502. Check.

    And I cant go without this:

    To be the first poster on a page

    You dont need to be a real sage

    At your keyboard keep pecking

    And then keep on checking

    Yossi Z please dont get in a rage 🙂

    #1221578

    My Dear Shticky Guy,

    I know you must feel bad,

    And be real sad,

    That I defeated you at your game,

    And you are merely trying to keep sane.

    Now please log out,

    And when you regain some streghnth,

    Look again at the count.

    Then log back in,

    And notice the overcount by one,

    For those who posted unto this thread.

    And good luck for the next game!

    #1221579
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    To post here I haven’t much time,

    I’m busy with chometz and grime.

    500 there are not,

    so Shticky take your shot,

    ’cause many posts here do not rhyme!

    #1221580
    blinky
    Participant

    Though it seems I have one foot out the door,

    I just haven’t the time to post anymore!

    You have nothing to fear,

    As I am quite still here,

    And honored to take limerick 5 oh 4!!

    Good Shabbos!

    #1221581
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    You people have talents unsurpassed

    Reading through this is truly a blast

    With humor & wit

    Sarcasm just a bit

    Hope this thread continues to last!

    #1221582
    minyan gal
    Member

    I’m sorry that I just upped and vanished

    But the health of my back – it was banished.

    Once again I can sit

    At least for a bit.

    But right now I really am famished.

    Tomorrow I leave for vacation

    To spend Seders with my relation(s)

    Next month when I’m home

    I no longer will roam

    The Coffee Room’s now my vocation.

    Hi everyone: Sorry to have dropped off the face of the earth. I had a back problem that had me laid up for well over 4 months. B’H

    I am much better now and I have wonderful friends who did every speck of shopping for me for weeks on end as I was unable to drive. Although my back will never be better, a combination of medications has allowed me to resume my life. The only side effect is that I sleep much later these days and have been unable to make it to morning minyan for 7:30 AM. Hopefully, as the weather gets warmer, I will be back to all of my activities. I realize now that we must live every day to its fullest and not postpone anything – so if all remains well with my health, I hope to make my first ever trip to Eretz this fall. If anyone knows of any tours for older first timers, please let me know. I wish all of you a freilich festival of freedom. Shalom – until next month.

    #1221584
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    Oy MG, OMG! Poor you. What a terrible story. Wow. ????? ???? ?????! . And what great friends you have to help you like that. But its great to have you back amongst us. You must have been real bad if you were laid up for 4 months with nothing to do yet still unable to post in.

    I once stepped in for you on I think page 5, and said that in the absence of minyan gal, minyan guy will have to step in, and I wrote a long limerick on sidras ? ????-???? but you didnt respond.

    None of this ‘see you next month’. We want to see you much before that! Its back to business from now.

    #1221585
    eclipse
    Member

    I’m beginning to feel very strange

    Knowing how much I’ve shared,what a range!!

    So my one request

    Please be on your best

    And don’t speak of me as deranged!!

    By journaling here for awhile

    I focused IRL with a big smile

    Now it’s a “done deal”

    Ahhh…some closure I feel

    Looking forward to Pesach!!(Nile?)

    #1221586
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    I’ve no time to spend at my screen

    Its just polish and vacuum and clean

    Cos with small kids around

    There’s nowhere chometz cant be found

    I am sure that you know what I mean

    I am spending too much of my time

    Finding cookie crumbs, bissli and grime

    In every closet

    There is a deposit

    Which leaves me with no time to rhyme

    Getting kids to help – some payback

    Is like looking for needles in a haystack

    With guests soon arriving

    This place will be thriving

    I wish you all Happy Paysach!

    #1221587
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    This thread it is truly asleep

    To find it I dug down real deep

    Then to get it alive

    Took First Aid to revive

    Cos its lying at the bottom of the heap.

    Over ???? no one had the time

    For composing a limerick or rhyme

    Due to cleaning we were busy

    From 4 ????? we were dizzy

    It was a huge mountain to climb.

    Now I’ll put this thread back to bed

    It seems enough limericks have been said

    I’ll go join the debate

    On sefira or William & Kate

    But if YOU want to post here – go ahead!

    PS MINYAN GAL ARE YOU NOT BACK YET?

    #1221588
    blinky
    Participant

    Writing limericks i have been slack,

    So now my brain i will try to rack,

    I don’t have much time,

    To make up a rhyme,

    But thank you Shticky for bring this back!

    I see you mentioned Minyan’s name,

    Has she also rejoined the game?

    I was concerned for her,

    I hope shes better,

    Without her it just wasn’t the same.

    #1221589
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    If you go back 6 threads and give a ‘blick’

    You’ll see back there minyan gal’s been sick

    She said back then that she

    Will be back one two three

    After Pesach back to the thread that makes her tick

    But cos posting of limericks now is rotten

    Its been so long since her post that you’ve forgotten

    So post verses that soothe

    No rough edges just smooth

    Like silk, velvet or satin without cotton

    #1221590
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    Shticky, thanks for reviving this thread

    Which has now on the list gone up ahead

    The EMT that you are

    As you’ve shown us so far

    Go BACK and get minyan gal out of bed

    #1221591
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Shticky suffers from amnesia,

    so here is one more just to please ya’.

    This thread’s not robust,

    not dead; it has just

    a bit too much anesthesia.

    #1221592
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    Minyan gal, to us you’re so dear

    That is abundantly, supremely clear

    So come BACK to us

    Without making a fuss

    Your presence is missed around here.

    #1221593
    minyan gal
    Member

    My vacation is over – that’s all

    And now I am feeling quite small.

    I spent time with my eineklach

    They are no longer kleineklach

    At six foot four each, they’re not small.

    To kiss Bubbie they bend over in half

    And everyone gets quite a laugh.

    All except for me

    Because as you see

    I can no longer give them a bath.

    So instead of a sitter who’s strict

    To the store I can them geshicht

    They can both drive a car

    And my chauffeurs they are

    And Bubbie’s wee face is gelicht.

    Hi everyone. I am just catching up and wish to thank you all – it is nice to be missed. I have been home for just a few days as I had to extend my trip as I picked up some eastern bug and the doctor wouldn’t let me fly. I promise to post some more very soon, but right now I am off to my shul – for the fund raising lottery and brunch. I know the food will be terrific, and I just need some mazel for the lottery. Efshar, I might have a chance as they have only printed 300 tickets and I don’t know if they have all been sold. Stay tuned for further developments.

    #1221594
    smartcookie
    Member

    Hey, Minyan Gal, where’ve ya’ been,

    Not writing limericks is a big sin

    Were so glad you’re here

    With a limerick to share

    Welcome back, c’mon in!

    #1221595
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Minyan Gal,

    I hope you had some success,

    You surely had fun, I would guess.

    Did you win the lottery;

    some cash or some pottery?

    At least you had what to fress!

    #1221596
    blinky
    Participant

    Hey whats the commotion I am hearing,

    Are all the old rhymers reappearing?

    We must not wait,

    And quickly celebrate,

    And stop this thread from disappearing!

    #1221597
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    blinky

    Whom are you calling “old timer”

    I’m certainly not an “old rhymer”

    I’m actually quite new

    So “How do you do”

    On this 26th day of the ????

    #1221598
    blinky
    Participant

    A Baruch Habbah and hi

    To the newest “am yisroel chai”

    Thanx for the reminder,

    You couldn’t have been kinder,

    And now I must log off- Bye!

    #1221599
    smartcookie
    Member

    AYC- you caught on real quick

    Thanks for taking this thread as your pick

    We can use some more rhymers

    New ones or old timers

    To make the limericks tick!

    #1221600
    minyan gal
    Member

    I am home from the lottery, friends.

    My luck – it should make some amends.

    But good food’s in my tummy

    The shul made some money

    And I had a good time in the end.

    (continued from my previous posting)

    To a few spots I wanted to go

    That were far from the places we know.

    The GPS, it went on

    And then we were gone.

    Its called a “road trip” – they said so.

    And now I am back home at last

    A thousand miles I have passed.

    I miss them all dearly,

    The message comes clearly

    I think I should move there – and fast.

    So I’m trying to figure it out

    The thought of a move gives me doubt.

    I have friends and a shul here

    But fam’ly is more dear

    “Oh what should I do?” is my shout.

    I will ask for advice from Hashem.

    Do I pack up and move close to them?

    Its a difficult choice

    Can He hear my voice?

    I must think it over again.

    #1221601

    The kids need day camp for the summer,

    But our cash situation’s a bummer.

    A bank we can’t rob,

    We just need a good job

    O, why didn’t I train as a plumber?

    #1221602
    minyan gal
    Member

    To Ursula:

    My friend, it is never too late.

    Education has no expiry date.

    Off to school you could go

    It would be hard, that I know

    But the rewards it would bring are just great!

    I know its too late for this year

    But a dream should not disappear

    With the help of your kin

    You could just hop right in

    And by fall, you’re a freshman, my dear.

    #1221603

    Minyan Gal:

    The tuition might not be too steep,

    And the knowledge will be mine to keep.

    Now, I don’t mean to shirk,

    But words are my work,

    And from Pepys to pipes’ quite a leap!

    #1221604
    minyan gal
    Member

    Ursula:

    A wordsmith you certainly are

    More creative than fixing a car

    Or changing a tap

    With a wrench give a rap

    But the money, it doesn’t go far.

    Mr.Pepys wrote a diary we know

    And his fame it began to grow

    Of course when he wrote it

    He had to promote it

    Back then the media was slow.

    #1221605

    Minyan Gal:

    If Sam P. had lived in our times,

    He’d be blogging all day of his “crimes,”

    But paper and pen

    Made it much harder then

    To record all his falls and his climbs.

    Today’s instant gratification

    Would have given Sam great satisfaction

    But a new career path

    That might involve math

    Is for me not a good course of action!

    But your encouraging words were so sweet,

    An appreciative soul did they greet,

    It was so nice

    That you answered twice

    I hope for you, talent and salary meet.

    #1221606
    minyan gal
    Member

    Ursula:

    At one time it really was true

    My wages were great – whoo hoo!

    But now I’m on pension

    So no need to mention

    My salary now makes me blue.

    But I’m a lucky woman indeed.

    I’ve money enough for my needs.

    Two eineklach fine

    I’m so happy they’re mine

    And can still give Tzedakah – its my creed.

    The poetry, its just for fun.

    It makes me proud when I’ve done

    A thank you or invite

    In meter thats just right

    On every topic under the sun.

    Way back when I was employed

    I had a job I enjoyed.

    I worked hard as a nurse,

    But it did fill my purse.

    And with words, I have always toyed.

    #1221608

    OOh, I am very red-faced

    At the mistake accidentally placed

    In last night’s verse

    But it could be worse

    No effort goes entirely to waste.

    Someday “gratification” will be rhymed correctly,

    The verse will be proofed circumspectly,

    There will be no shame

    In signing my name

    To a line that rhymes AND scans perfectly.

    #1221609
    blinky
    Participant

    To ursula and Minyan:

    ????? ???? chazal had wrote,

    That regarding wealth please do note,

    Forget your mansion,

    Or your wallet expansion,

    ??? ????? i believe is the quote.

    #1221610

    Blinky, to your mussar I must awaken,

    Chazal’s wisdom is never mistaken.

    Our happiness grows

    When our life goes

    On the path Torah shows should be taken.

    #1221611
    blinky
    Participant

    Chodesh Iyar on the day eighteen,

    Celebrations worldwide can be seen,

    Rashbi we admire,

    Through dance and fire,

    Its Lag Ba’omer that I mean.

    #1221612
    minyan gal
    Member

    My friends, I am once again learning.

    For more personal growth I am burning.

    And now Chabad’s giving

    The “Gift” of Shabbat living.

    And for more Torah lore I am yearning.

    #1221613

    Shabbos is truly a gift,

    It gives our whole week a lift.

    If only each Jew,

    Would keep, consecutive, two,

    Moshiach’s arrival would follow, so swift.

    #1221614
    minyan gal
    Member

    I’m an early riser you know,

    So early to bed I must go.

    With Shabbat so late

    I fear for the fate

    Of my home – so I watch candles burn low.

    So tell me please what I should do

    When dinner and cleanup is through

    I’m sleepy and tired

    The flames aren’t expired

    Kindly give a suggestion or two.

    #1221615

    One option for safety sublime

    To keep flames from starting to climb

    You could make early Shab-

    bos, it’s not such a job,

    Us do it here all the time.

    #1221616
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    Go to a store you know

    Purchase candles to glow

    Divide each in half

    I can see you laugh

    They’ll be out when it’s time to go!

    #1221617

    Another tack Minyan could consider

    In order of worry to rid her,

    Is a midday nap

    So Shabbos won’t sap

    Her strength, and she’ll stay up with her siddur.

    #1221618

    Or guests you could invite to your home,

    If far from their own they must roam.

    The only price

    For your company nice

    Is that they watch til the flames say “Shalom!”

    #1221619
    minyan gal
    Member

    A midday nap is a pleasure

    A period that I truly treasure.

    But Friday’s so busy

    I’m just in a tizzy

    No time for the moment of leisure.

    I discussed with my Rabbi, the candles

    He said its a mitzvah easy to handle.

    He said it is besser to use

    A sink – not a dresser

    And not worry about fire – a vandal.

    I shall have to continue to think

    Of a solution that won’t drive me to drink

    Its really a pity

    To place lichters so pretty

    In my clean stainless steel kitchen sink.

    #1221620

    For another good idea, you might say “thankee”

    To a clever Yid, let’s call him “Yanky,”

    One place you could light

    Candles on Friday night,

    Is, as on Chanuka, in a fish tanky!

    #1221621
    blinky
    Participant

    Cholent, kugel and kishe in a crock,

    Is just one part of the Shabbos hock,

    There is a better mood,

    And its not just the food,

    As this week is also Parshas Chazak!!

    Goos Shabbos!!

    #1221622
    minyan gal
    Member

    It really would be just so fine

    If all of us friends here on line

    Could share one long table

    If only we were able

    To spend Shabbat together in real time.

    I wish you a Shabbat of peace

    Let all of your worries just cease.

    With good friends around you

    And food that astounds you

    Let all of your mazel increase.

    Shabbat Shalom to everyone.

    #1221623

    The Limericks page is pareve and sweet.

    It’s where fun and intelligence meet.

    Rhyming is easy,

    The feeling is breezy,

    And you can do it while resting your feet.

    No feelings are hurt in the making

    Of verses that are here for the taking

    A short pleasant read

    Fulfills a great need

    To be giving, but nothing earthshaking.

    #1221624
    minyan gal
    Member

    I’m a day early, my message is good.

    Tomorrow, no time for CR neighborhood.

    My Shabbat wish: Shalom

    For all in your home

    And a prayer for Klal Yisroel if you would.

    #1221625
    blinky
    Participant

    I guess ill post mine now too

    Whether in US Israel or Rome

    Wishing you all Shabbat Shalom,

    No matter the location,

    This weekly “vacation”

    Will bring peace unto your home.

    Minyan- I must have missed your Shabbos limerick from last week. I would be delighted to sit around your table!

    #1221627
    minyan gal
    Member

    To the Moderator known as Twenty

    This thread has limericks plenty.

    They are easy to do

    Like to polish a shoe

    And with one click, off they are senty.

    #1221628
    Toi
    Participant

    There once was a man from Darjiling

    who travelled all the way to Neeling

    the sign on the door

    said don’t spit on the floor

    so he carefully spat on the ceiling

    #1221629
    minyan gal
    Member

    Re: my last limerick

    Some of my rhymes are quite silly

    They flow through my mind – they are dillies.

    Some are so deep

    They could put you to sleep

    All written by this Canadian filly.

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