Oh no! Oh no! I have blundered
I didnt see the lims are all numbered
So I will not wait
But will congratulate
Yossi Z posted limerick FOUR HUNDRED!!! :~>
The ones posting in without fail
Are now all decidedly male
Where are all the women
Are they too busy slimmin'
To send in a rhyming email
( I'm assuming DY is a זכר
Although er ken git der מלאכה
Cos then our best feeder
Would be called דעת יחידה
And not שמעון ,ראובן or יששכר )
A cosmetic recommendation to make this project more aesthetic
We need a tool to sort the posters in a method alphabetic
This process would permit
easily following my favorite
As it seems that their skills are genetic! (am i pathetic?)
I just got hung up on
Boy was that rude
I hate the way hats
Treat an innocent snood.
Eclpise is it really you?
You shouldn't be treated so rude!
But please I may
Gently I say
Correct your lim so blue
?
How 'bout something like this
It just took a few word flips
If I may
Please display
My love of limericks
Right now I am in a bad mood
The hats were just so rude
It is so wrong
To hang up on
A fully innocent snood
Yossi--you're right,I broke the "lim" rule
But you fixed it--pretty cool!
I gotta remember
From Jan. to December
That rules aren't only in school!
I think I figured out why
Posters are being so shy
It seems to be
At least to me
It is convos which fly
First it is time to say kiddush
Then comes challah-delish!
But when it comes
To fill your tum
Please eat at the tish!
Good shabbos!
I seem to be running dry
The reason I know not why
So help me out
Give a shout
And have the limericks fly
Am I just tired?
Perhaps maybe wired?
Or distracted
No not plastered
Definitely, no sire
When the page is about to switch
How do you know which
Post it will be
For I'd like to see
At the top my limerich
I have not, in a while
Used Limericking as a poetic style
Will it work out? Let's see
2 more lines left to this rhyming
Not bad! Quite worthwhile!
(Can while and worthwhile be
In the same stanza when limericking
As last words to rhyming lines
Surely there are no fines
For rhyming stanza I's line "A" to line "E"?)
Daas yochid said it clearly
And I hold it very dearly
The rules they say
Are needed to play
Now please come and hear me
I will now pass on
What really has not gone
Very far behind
This post of mine
Now please don't yell mom (random?)
The rules they say are few
But lines one and two
Also five
Have to rhyme
Then 3 and 4 too
The rhymes I see you have
The syllables need a tad
Of work by you
Oh my it's true
At me please don't be mad
The first 2 limerick lines
Can have at most 9
The next are five
And then you dive
Into limerick mines
Before you get limerick heaven
The last line no more than seven
Syllables fine
And then you dine
On limericks and leaven
*whew*
I was so busy in the past week
I had no time to give a peek
The limericks are moving quick
All of them really click
As I was taken over by a strong fatigue.
I was so busy running to the gym
Waiting for the day I'll be nice n slim
And it also snowed away
So the kids were home thurs & friday
I had no time to make a new lim'
I just ate some sushi and feel disgusting
My stomach feels like it's busting
Eating late at night
Is so not right
My diet is really rusting.
But Yossi Z. I see you became a pro
I'm so proud of your new ego
You're following rules
And making limerick pools
Your improvement really does show!
I'm too tired to continue rhyming
Just take a look at the timing
Gonna go get some sleep
Before the alarm goes beep beep
And the baby starts whining.
Gut Voch to all!
Smartcookie I thank you much
Wishing you a gut voch
But myself I couldn't
Nor I wouldn't
Have done it without help much
I owe a debt of gratitude
To dear daas yochid too
For giving me
The courage to be
Limericist on tune (hey how about turning that into a subtitle!)
Have I been mentioning?
Daas yochid lim by lim?
Don't be sad
Nor be mad
For smiles I want to bring
I give credit where it is due
(See I gave it to you too)
Now let's go
And have a show
With limericks anew
I think I may have got it
Though this'll be nothing exotic
Just Sweet and short
Is just the sort
Of limerick that's melodic.
Sorry for my previous try
Reading that's good cause to cry
But now I think
These lines are in sync
This can you deny?
Welcome to this thread, Sapphire
Your limerick is really something to admire
I'm glad you joined the crew
I'm asking you should continue
please do not retire
Thanks for your words, Smartcookie
I know I'm just a mere rookie
(But) This is contagious
These rhymes're outrageous
If not a bit cookey
But that's what makes limericks fun
I've read through the posts one by one
I've got the gist
Of what does consist
In Limericks 101.
Very good sapphire!
Looks like your out of the mire
As if with a bat
Give another whack
And stay here for a while
Short and sweet is good
It is just like some food
Now please see
What can be
And don't give us the boot
:D yossi :D
Rabbosai, I'm getting frustrated;
what I will now say will be hated.
Some of these rhymes,
are not worth two dimes;
it shouldn't be so complicated!
My presence here is so sporadic,
(I know – I am being dramatic)
cause it makes me sick,
to see a limerick,
whose style is so erratic.
A rhyme means the words end the same;
you know, there are rule to this game.
The words tune and too,
with “tude” rhyme not do,
that's why these limericks are lame!
I gave now but one small example,
Unfortunately, there have been ample.
Cookey and rookie,
from rhyme school played hooky,
On rhyming rules these do trample.
I know I am being annoying,
and with your feelings I'm toying,
but boot, food and good,
you really should,
avoid in the same poem deploying.
Everyone will soon improve,
come now, let's get on the move!
Just follow the rules,
we won't look like fools.
Let's get this thread back in the groove!
I hope no one did I insult,
I do not want that to result;
I meant it in jest,
you are all the best!
Forgive me and I will exult.
By the way, there are more pages,
but done in a way which enrages.
There used to be six,
pages of limericks,
now suddenly nine, not in stages.
I've not posted in a short while
Because at times it's a great trial.
To get out in time
All things metered in rhyme,
Is not something I do with a smile.
Your view is quite slanted
Ans with your rhymes I'm enchanted
But you must excuse
A frum person's muse
And poetic license might be granted
Your spelling is off, I might add
It leaves me wanting just a tad
Spelling rules are set in stone
While rhymes are more of tone
So some humility is to be had
Excuse me for being flukey
Sorry for driving you kookey
I am extremely tired
My brain's all a-mired
Right now I sound quite rookie
Sorry people I'm out for a bit
My mind is starting to flit
I can not rhyme
Not even two times
I think I will now git
Distracted as can be
It is obvious to me
I must rest
So all the best
Now can I have my tea
:( yossi :(
I think all you posters are fest
your rhyming is really the best
from what you have said
you are all purebred
and are quite ahead of the rest
this is a real good education
which sets down a solid foundation
it does reflect
my utmost respect
to authors of limerick formation
whoever in this thread takes part
they must be exceedingly smart
it is my position
to give recognition
to those who write in from the heart
Welcome to each new limerick attempt
Although some critiques show some contempt
Don't be offended
Improvement's intended
The rules of the game leave no one exempt
A fairly strict rhyme scheme's required
If you master this you'll be admired
and if you can't spell
don't bid farewell
Use spell check it never gets tired
Sorry for my novice fumble
You sure know how to make one humble
But now it is time
To put to bed this rhyme
Before I further stumble.
I just hope you realize and see
Patience is a virtue - this is key
It may not be perfect
But pobody's nerfect
On this most of us agree.
So with thanks, I take your lines
To use as guiding signs
Of what is supreme
To include in rhyme scheme
Of Limericking designs
Also I appreciate
Kind words that did indicate
All we can do is try
Can't make our brains fry
To rhyme and communicate. :)
On the front page there was nary a trace
We seem to have lost our place
Here's a Quick
Limerick
To regain our previous space
Monday, a new week at work
The "to do" pile is berserk
There's numbers to crunch
No time to munch
Somewhere must be a perk.
Busy season is once again here
Newcomers to the field, beware!
Say 'bye to your bed
Or quit while still ahead
Enjoy the tense atomsphere!
What happened to our Limerick thread?
Has everyone already gone to bed?
I'm in a rage
This thread FELL OFF THE PAGE
Why are only the other threads read?
Sapphire,this "jewel" is for you
Since I'm up coughing,that,in lieu
Of the antibiotics
That smell like orthotics
Which never ended up getting through!
Cookie, you made a mistake;
it's not dead, we just took a break.
Put away the anger,
in the closet, on a hanger,
and chill out, for goodness' sake!
:)
I will try the limerick style
Though I haven't in a while
I will not boast
Look at my post
Hold on I've got mayil (mail)
I said earlier in this thread
That I really had to go to bed
Please don't shout
Nor chew me out
Or else I'll bang my head
Give me at most a week
Without driving me up a creek
Better I may be
Though not yet fully
And now I shall go to sleep (it is 12:30 by me)
Daas: was that better?
:D yossi :D
Eclipse, I really feel for you
Know what it's like to feel sick, too
Coughing's a pain
Don't see much gain
But there's not much else to do...
Except for Daven and the med
And lots of sleep in a cozy bed
So Refuah Sheleimah
Bimiheira
Glad Smartcookie revived this thread.
chayav is my bubby
my zaidy is her hubby
when i'm not clean
she puts me in the washing machine
i'd rather go in the bath-tubby
'chayavs einikel' just came from heaven
She was created February 2, 2011
So her efforts we should applaud
Unless she is a fraud
Which wont make a good impression
She claims to be Tipsey's grandchild
But I think thats a bit wild
You made it up, why sir?
Its just a bubba maaser
To close to your bubby your work is styled
E-mail is overrated
They said I was so outdated
I wait for information
On the project situation
The cave men just SPOKE!!"antiquated"
I think that chayav inish the alcoholic
Was having a bit of a frolic
What is (s)he really
A bochur or a Bubby
When (s)he posts in those lims astronomic
(S)he earned the sub name of Tipsy
By posting like a wild gypsy
But a woman I think
Should change her best drink
To Evian, 7 Up or Pepsi
Is (s)he a super pretender
When (s)he writes as from the other gender
Its not what (s)he depicted
When I thought (s)he's addicted
To whiskey. I dunno. I surrender!
We're approaching the month(s) of Adar
Our best part of the year, by far
A time of great joy
From France to Illinois
Be prepared for the normal and bizarre.
When we all go out in costume
No one knows whom is whom
They dance in with a twirl
But is it boy or girl
We dont know, we can only assume.
A group of 80 came drinking hard stuff
And cigarettes they did light up and puff
But I'm not a shlemiel
It is all a spiel
They're the screennames of poster Joseph!!!
When we arise every morning,
Modeh Ani is what we sing,
Its the Jewish way,
To start our day,
By giving thanx to Hashem our king!
Blinky!!You just woke up?
eclipse, you're not using your "kup",
blinky did not just wake up.
The post merely waited,
until moderated,
or else, she has dialup!
blinky started her limerick with a 'when'
so she hadnt just picked up her pen
my alarm I do snooze
much to my wife's bemuse
saying modeh ani over and over again... :-( / :-)
Shticky, you write with a pen?
You seem to be from way back when.
I use a keyboard,
(except when I be bored)
so I don't have to write it again.
"bemuse" = ready to "behead"?
Eclpse I did not just awake
I only decided to take a break,
DY whats dialup?
Did you make that word up?
Shticky- how many modeh anis do you make?
"bemuse" = ready to "behead"?
This is the decaffeinated section, not the "decapitated" section!
ok!
Dialup came before cable,
when DSL was still just a fable.
No Fios perfection,
a super-slow connection;
to upload with speed, unable.
When i used the words pen and bemuse
Some poetic license I did use
I really meant bemusement
And provided amusement
To guys with decaffeinated views
Bemuse is so different to behead
There was nothing wrong with what I said
On this there's no pikpuk
Go learn English dikduk
Or revise with a dictionary instead!
But I must say you gave me a smile
Which lasted for oh quite a while
You guys are tremendous
Absolutely stupendous
As limerick upon limerick you pile
Yes I do always write with a pen
My poetry on a paper and then
I send it by mail
As quick as a snail
And attempt it on my dial up again
Why you think I live in old history
Is really one gigantic mystery
You call me old fashioned
Cos my ink it is rationed
My brother you're not acting sister-y
I know what you meant by bemuse
But I meant behead,now my views:
When minyan for men
Means "RRRing RRRing" and then
YOU STAY SLEEPING,you need a good shmuz!
When will we reach page ten?
Please let me know when
So we can pile
All with a smile
Limericks now more than then
:D Zuberman! :D
I think you see me as Mashgiach Creep
Cause of the Lim I wrote about sleep
I mean when it rings daily, 5:30 A.M.
Cause you want to copy your Rabbayim
Then DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T REMEMBER WHERE YOU PUT THE CLOCK!
Sorry,I had to finish the story.
I am gonna have to say hey!
Why does this thread not stay?
On the front page
No I won't rage
If you come out and play
:D Zuberman! :D
Really when will this thread
Stop from falling dead
I'd like to see
Some carefree
People using their head
:( Zuberman! :(
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