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    Shticky Guy

    Oh no! Oh no! I have blundered

    I didnt see the lims are all numbered

    So I will not wait

    But will congratulate

    Yossi Z posted limerick FOUR HUNDRED!!! :~>

    The ones posting in without fail

    Are now all decidedly male

    Where are all the women

    Are they too busy slimmin’

    To send in a rhyming email

    ( I’m assuming DY is a ???

    Although er ken git der ?????

    Cos then our best feeder

    Would be called ??? ?????

    And not ????? ,????? or ????? )


    A cosmetic recommendation to make this project more aesthetic

    We need a tool to sort the posters in a method alphabetic

    This process would permit

    easily following my favorite

    As it seems that their skills are genetic! (am i pathetic?)


    I just got hung up on

    Boy was that rude

    I hate the way hats

    Treat an innocent snood.

    yossi z.

    Eclpise is it really you?

    You shouldn’t be treated so rude!

    But please I may

    Gently I say

    Correct your lim so blue


    How ’bout something like this

    It just took a few word flips

    If I may

    Please display

    My love of limericks

    Right now I am in a bad mood

    The hats were just so rude

    It is so wrong

    To hang up on

    A fully innocent snood


    Yossi–you’re right,I broke the “lim” rule

    But you fixed it–pretty cool!

    I gotta remember

    From Jan. to December

    That rules aren’t only in school!

    yossi z.

    I think I figured out why

    Posters are being so shy

    It seems to be

    At least to me

    It is convos which fly

    yossi z.

    First it is time to say kiddush

    Then comes challah-delish!

    But when it comes

    To fill your tum

    Please eat at the tish!

    Good shabbos!

    yossi z.

    I seem to be running dry

    The reason I know not why

    So help me out

    Give a shout

    And have the limericks fly

    Am I just tired?

    Perhaps maybe wired?

    Or distracted

    No not plastered

    Definitely, no sire

    When the page is about to switch

    How do you know which

    Post it will be

    For I’d like to see

    At the top my limerich


    I have not, in a while

    Used Limericking as a poetic style

    Will it work out? Let’s see

    2 more lines left to this rhyming

    Not bad! Quite worthwhile!

    (Can while and worthwhile be

    In the same stanza when limericking

    As last words to rhyming lines

    Surely there are no fines

    For rhyming stanza I’s line “A” to line “E”?)

    yossi z.

    Daas yochid said it clearly

    And I hold it very dearly

    The rules they say

    Are needed to play

    Now please come and hear me

    I will now pass on

    What really has not gone

    Very far behind

    This post of mine

    Now please don’t yell mom (random?)

    The rules they say are few

    But lines one and two

    Also five

    Have to rhyme

    Then 3 and 4 too

    The rhymes I see you have

    The syllables need a tad

    Of work by you

    Oh my it’s true

    At me please don’t be mad

    The first 2 limerick lines

    Can have at most 9

    The next are five

    And then you dive

    Into limerick mines

    Before you get limerick heaven

    The last line no more than seven

    Syllables fine

    And then you dine

    On limericks and leaven



    I was so busy in the past week

    I had no time to give a peek

    The limericks are moving quick

    All of them really click

    As I was taken over by a strong fatigue.

    I was so busy running to the gym

    Waiting for the day I’ll be nice n slim

    And it also snowed away

    So the kids were home thurs & friday

    I had no time to make a new lim’

    I just ate some sushi and feel disgusting

    My stomach feels like it’s busting

    Eating late at night

    Is so not right

    My diet is really rusting.

    But Yossi Z. I see you became a pro

    I’m so proud of your new ego

    You’re following rules

    And making limerick pools

    Your improvement really does show!

    I’m too tired to continue rhyming

    Just take a look at the timing

    Gonna go get some sleep

    Before the alarm goes beep beep

    And the baby starts whining.

    Gut Voch to all!

    yossi z.

    Smartcookie I thank you much

    Wishing you a gut voch

    But myself I couldn’t

    Nor I wouldn’t

    Have done it without help much

    I owe a debt of gratitude

    To dear daas yochid too

    For giving me

    The courage to be

    Limericist on tune (hey how about turning that into a subtitle!)

    Have I been mentioning?

    Daas yochid lim by lim?

    Don’t be sad

    Nor be mad

    For smiles I want to bring

    I give credit where it is due

    (See I gave it to you too)

    Now let’s go

    And have a show

    With limericks anew


    I think I may have got it

    Though this’ll be nothing exotic

    Just Sweet and short

    Is just the sort

    Of limerick that’s melodic.

    Sorry for my previous try

    Reading that’s good cause to cry

    But now I think

    These lines are in sync

    This can you deny?


    Welcome to this thread, Sapphire

    Your limerick is really something to admire

    I’m glad you joined the crew

    I’m asking you should continue

    please do not retire


    Thanks for your words, Smartcookie

    I know I’m just a mere rookie

    (But) This is contagious

    These rhymes’re outrageous

    If not a bit cookey

    But that’s what makes limericks fun

    I’ve read through the posts one by one

    I’ve got the gist

    Of what does consist

    In Limericks 101.

    yossi z.

    Very good sapphire!

    Looks like your out of the mire

    As if with a bat

    Give another whack

    And stay here for a while

    Short and sweet is good

    It is just like some food

    Now please see

    What can be

    And don’t give us the boot

    😀 yossi 😀

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Rabbosai, I’m getting frustrated;

    what I will now say will be hated.

    Some of these rhymes,

    are not worth two dimes;

    it shouldn’t be so complicated!

    My presence here is so sporadic,

    cause it makes me sick,

    to see a limerick,

    whose style is so erratic.

    A rhyme means the words end the same;

    you know, there are rule to this game.

    The words tune and too,

    that’s why these limericks are lame!

    I gave now but one small example,

    Unfortunately, there have been ample.

    Cookey and rookie,

    from rhyme school played hooky,

    On rhyming rules these do trample.

    I know I am being annoying,

    and with your feelings I’m toying,

    but boot, food and good,

    you really should,

    avoid in the same poem deploying.

    Everyone will soon improve,

    come now, let’s get on the move!

    Just follow the rules,

    we won’t look like fools.

    Let’s get this thread back in the groove!

    I hope no one did I insult,

    I do not want that to result;

    I meant it in jest,

    you are all the best!

    Forgive me and I will exult.

    By the way, there are more pages,

    but done in a way which enrages.

    There used to be six,

    pages of limericks,

    now suddenly nine, not in stages.


    I’ve not posted in a short while

    Because at times it’s a great trial.

    To get out in time

    All things metered in rhyme,

    Is not something I do with a smile.


    Your view is quite slanted

    Ans with your rhymes I’m enchanted

    But you must excuse

    A frum person’s muse

    And poetic license might be granted

    Your spelling is off, I might add

    It leaves me wanting just a tad

    Spelling rules are set in stone

    While rhymes are more of tone

    So some humility is to be had

    yossi z.

    Excuse me for being flukey

    Sorry for driving you kookey

    I am extremely tired

    My brain’s all a-mired

    Right now I sound quite rookie

    Sorry people I’m out for a bit

    My mind is starting to flit

    I can not rhyme

    Not even two times

    I think I will now git

    Distracted as can be

    It is obvious to me

    I must rest

    So all the best

    Now can I have my tea

    🙁 yossi 🙁

    Ken Zayn

    I think all you posters are fest

    your rhyming is really the best

    from what you have said

    you are all purebred

    and are quite ahead of the rest

    this is a real good education

    which sets down a solid foundation

    it does reflect

    my utmost respect

    to authors of limerick formation

    whoever in this thread takes part

    they must be exceedingly smart

    it is my position

    to give recognition

    to those who write in from the heart


    Welcome to each new limerick attempt

    Although some critiques show some contempt

    Don’t be offended

    Improvement’s intended

    The rules of the game leave no one exempt

    A fairly strict rhyme scheme’s required

    If you master this you’ll be admired

    and if you can’t spell

    don’t bid farewell

    Use spell check it never gets tired


    Sorry for my novice fumble

    You sure know how to make one humble

    But now it is time

    To put to bed this rhyme

    Before I further stumble.

    I just hope you realize and see

    Patience is a virtue – this is key

    It may not be perfect

    But pobody’s nerfect

    On this most of us agree.

    So with thanks, I take your lines

    To use as guiding signs

    Of what is supreme

    To include in rhyme scheme

    Of Limericking designs

    Also I appreciate

    Kind words that did indicate

    All we can do is try

    Can’t make our brains fry

    To rhyme and communicate. 🙂


    On the front page there was nary a trace

    We seem to have lost our place

    Here’s a Quick


    To regain our previous space


    Monday, a new week at work

    The “to do” pile is berserk

    There’s numbers to crunch

    No time to munch

    Somewhere must be a perk.

    Busy season is once again here

    Newcomers to the field, beware!

    Say ‘bye to your bed

    Or quit while still ahead

    Enjoy the tense atomsphere!


    What happened to our Limerick thread?

    Has everyone already gone to bed?

    I’m in a rage

    This thread FELL OFF THE PAGE

    Why are only the other threads read?


    Sapphire,this “jewel” is for you

    Since I’m up coughing,that,in lieu

    Of the antibiotics

    That smell like orthotics

    Which never ended up getting through!

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Cookie, you made a mistake;

    it’s not dead, we just took a break.

    Put away the anger,

    in the closet, on a hanger,

    and chill out, for goodness’ sake!


    yossi z.

    I will try the limerick style

    Though I haven’t in a while

    I will not boast

    Look at my post

    Hold on I’ve got mayil (mail)

    I said earlier in this thread

    That I really had to go to bed

    Please don’t shout

    Nor chew me out

    Or else I’ll bang my head

    Give me at most a week

    Without driving me up a creek

    Better I may be

    Though not yet fully

    And now I shall go to sleep (it is 12:30 by me)

    Daas: was that better?

    😀 yossi 😀


    Eclipse, I really feel for you

    Know what it’s like to feel sick, too

    Coughing’s a pain

    Don’t see much gain

    But there’s not much else to do…

    Except for Daven and the med

    And lots of sleep in a cozy bed

    So Refuah Sheleimah


    Glad Smartcookie revived this thread.


    chayav is my bubby

    my zaidy is her hubby

    when i’m not clean

    she puts me in the washing machine

    i’d rather go in the bath-tubby

    Ken Zayn

    ‘chayavs einikel’ just came from heaven

    She was created February 2, 2011

    So her efforts we should applaud

    Unless she is a fraud

    Which wont make a good impression

    She claims to be Tipsey’s grandchild

    But I think thats a bit wild

    You made it up, why sir?

    Its just a bubba maaser

    To close to your bubby your work is styled


    E-mail is overrated

    They said I was so outdated

    I wait for information

    On the project situation

    The cave men just SPOKE!!”antiquated”

    Shticky Guy

    I think that chayav inish the alcoholic

    Was having a bit of a frolic

    What is (s)he really

    A bochur or a Bubby

    When (s)he posts in those lims astronomic

    (S)he earned the sub name of Tipsy

    By posting like a wild gypsy

    But a woman I think

    Should change her best drink

    To Evian, 7 Up or Pepsi

    Is (s)he a super pretender

    When (s)he writes as from the other gender

    Its not what (s)he depicted

    When I thought (s)he’s addicted

    To whiskey. I dunno. I surrender!

    We’re approaching the month(s) of Adar

    Our best part of the year, by far

    A time of great joy

    From France to Illinois

    Be prepared for the normal and bizarre.

    When we all go out in costume

    No one knows whom is whom

    They dance in with a twirl

    But is it boy or girl

    We dont know, we can only assume.

    A group of 80 came drinking hard stuff

    And cigarettes they did light up and puff

    But I’m not a shlemiel

    It is all a spiel

    They’re the screennames of poster Joseph!!!


    When we arise every morning,

    Modeh Ani is what we sing,

    Its the Jewish way,

    To start our day,

    By giving thanx to Hashem our king!


    Blinky!!You just woke up?

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    eclipse, you’re not using your “kup”,

    blinky did not just wake up.

    The post merely waited,

    until moderated,

    or else, she has dialup!

    Shticky Guy

    blinky started her limerick with a ‘when’

    so she hadnt just picked up her pen

    my alarm I do snooze

    much to my wife’s bemuse

    saying modeh ani over and over again… 🙁 / 🙂

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Shticky, you write with a pen?

    You seem to be from way back when.

    I use a keyboard,

    (except when I be bored)

    so I don’t have to write it again.


    “bemuse” = ready to “behead”?


    Eclpse I did not just awake

    I only decided to take a break,

    DY whats dialup?

    Did you make that word up?

    Shticky- how many modeh anis do you make?

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    “bemuse” = ready to “behead”?

    This is the decaffeinated section, not the “decapitated” section!



    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Dialup came before cable,

    when DSL was still just a fable.

    No Fios perfection,

    a super-slow connection;

    to upload with speed, unable.

    Shticky Guy

    When i used the words pen and bemuse

    Some poetic license I did use

    I really meant bemusement

    And provided amusement

    To guys with decaffeinated views

    Bemuse is so different to behead

    There was nothing wrong with what I said

    On this there’s no pikpuk

    Go learn English dikduk

    Or revise with a dictionary instead!

    But I must say you gave me a smile

    Which lasted for oh quite a while

    You guys are tremendous

    Absolutely stupendous

    As limerick upon limerick you pile

    Yes I do always write with a pen

    My poetry on a paper and then

    I send it by mail

    As quick as a snail

    And attempt it on my dial up again

    Why you think I live in old history

    Is really one gigantic mystery

    You call me old fashioned

    Cos my ink it is rationed

    My brother you’re not acting sister-y


    I know what you meant by bemuse

    But I meant behead,now my views:

    When minyan for men

    Means “RRRing RRRing” and then

    YOU STAY SLEEPING,you need a good shmuz!

    yossi z.

    When will we reach page ten?

    Please let me know when

    So we can pile

    All with a smile

    Limericks now more than then

    😀 Zuberman! 😀


    I think you see me as Mashgiach Creep

    Cause of the Lim I wrote about sleep

    I mean when it rings daily, 5:30 A.M.

    Cause you want to copy your Rabbayim


    Sorry,I had to finish the story.

    yossi z.

    I am gonna have to say hey!

    Why does this thread not stay?

    On the front page

    No I won’t rage

    If you come out and play

    😀 Zuberman! 😀

    yossi z.

    Really when will this thread

    Stop from falling dead

    I’d like to see

    Some carefree

    People using their head

    🙁 Zuberman! 🙁

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