Hair covering is not merely symbolic- it is a serious Biblical obligation and prohibition that stems directly from the sanctity of marriage. Tragically, this severe issur is being disregarded on a communal level.

Broadly speaking, there are two general categories of men in relation to the struggle for kedushah and shmiras einayim:

1. The Struggling but Sincere These men are actively striving to rise above the overwhelming taavah and temptations of today’s society. Their inner struggle is admirable and echoes the legacy of Yosef HaTzaddik, who famously resisted temptation and fled from spiritual danger. Many overlook a crucial point in Yosef’s story: the sin had already begun to some extent, yet he found the strength to turn back. This illustrates true gevurah, setting a path for others to follow. Men in this category are engaged in a daily inner battle, sincerely striving to live lives of kedushah, Torah, and deveikus baHashem. They tap into the Kedushas Habris that is bestowed upon every Jewish boy on the eighth day of his life. All things associated with seven are naturalthe seven colors in the rainbow, seven musical notes, the seven days of the week. Eight symbolizes drawing from a higher, supernatural world. When a man’s biological and emotional inner world are intensely working against him, he still has the ability to muster the strength to say no and flee- an ability uniquely possessed by men. These men understand deeply that the spiritual impurities of our generation are at the root of our prolonged galus, and that geulah is within reach if we, as a whole, rise to the challenge.

2. The Spiritually Numbed Sadly, there are others who have become desensitized to the spiritual dangers that surround us. Regular exposure to inappropriate imagery no longer elicits resistance. There is no internal struggle- only a passive slide into spiritual decline. A simple process: interest, processing, conclusion, and then repeat at the next opportunity. While some in this group feel regret, they often struggle to transform that regret into lasting change. Others have become numb altogether, no longer recognizing the spiritual damage incurred. Outwardly, they may appear respectable and impressive, but those in the first group often sense their detachment from Hashem and their overall indifference to kedushah. Often unbeknownst to them, their faces show signs of brazenness, fading out subtle traces of sincerity and innocence.

This brings us to a pressing and uncomfortable question: What is the true motivation behind today’s increasingly provocative sheitels? Can it really be that married women are unaware of the attention they attract with wigs styled to mimic natural, alluring hair- complete with highlights, volume, and contemporary fashion? What exactly is gained by this manner of dress? Does it strengthen the bond between husband and wife in any meaningful way, or does it negatively affect so many other marriages? Does the average woman ever don that sheitel for her husband at all, or is it only for the public eye? When a non-Jew is told that Jewish women wear sheitels for modesty, why do they look utterly baffled? Why are misleading terms like “heter” and “mesorah” clouding our ability to understand what outsiders see with clarity?

How can anyone with a genuine connection to Hashem and His holy Torah not feel that this is a travesty of the highest spiritual order? Is it reasonable to claim that since the hair is not growing from one’s scalp, the halachic and hashkafic concerns disappear? Would a woman be content with her husband viewing inappropriate content, justifying it by saying, “It’s just digital- it’s not real, it’s simply thousands of pixels on a screen”? Would any woman respond, “Wow, you found a loophole- you have a heter”? We all know the answer- she would be emotionally devastated, and rightly so. In many ways, that digital content may be less real than a carefully styled, highly attractive sheitel. Kedushah is the sacred bond between husband and wife—a union that invites the Shechinah. Any connection, emotional or visual, outside that sanctified space becomes a source of tumah, driving the Shechinah away, R”L. Kedushah versus tumah is about the outcome of the malefemale connection, which for men starts in the physical realm, followed by the emotional. For women, it is the opposite. These two realities aren’t a mistake—they are exactly how Hashem, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, intended them to be.

Modern sheitels are, in truth, a serious impediment to Kedushas Yisroel. A woman who might otherwise not be noticed suddenly draws unwanted, and even painful, attention. Hair, especially styled to attract, is a powerful draw, even before any decision is made. It is a biological response. The Biblical Torah standard and prohibition of a married woman to expose hair is not arbitrary.

It speaks to something deep, essential, and real. Chazal refer to it as ervah for a reason. Those who foolishly rant “Just don’t look!” or “Control yourself!” are shamelessly affirming their membership in the second group mentioned earlier. Since when does an innocent man, walking in his own neighborhood, need to be on such high alert because of women who consider themselves Torah-observant? On the contrary- Jewish women have been entrusted with the role of guardians of Kedushas Yisroel, beginning with our four Imahos. Tzaddikim who lived lives of ultimate purity have compared a woman dressed in an alluring manner among men to someone applying a lit torch to a dry haystack. Paradoxically, the holier a Jew truly is, the more willing he is to humbly embrace the spiritual vulnerability of being composed of flesh and blood

So we must ask: Who bears responsibility for the spiritual effects that follow: For the hirhurei aveirah, for the confusion, and, worse, for the erosion of kedushah that exposure creates, which has now been activated and set in motion? This is not an easy conversation. It demands humility from men and self-awareness from women. Men must admit how easily visual stimuli can impact them. Women must acknowledge the inherent power of their presence and attractiveness, even without enhancements. Chazal warn strongly against a man who gazes even at a woman’s hand. Let’s put that into perspective: the scenario is of a modestly dressed woman paying a shopkeeper, and he gazes at her hand. But what of the woman who intentionally beautifies herself for a public setting, crossing clear halachic and hashkafic lines? The Mesillas Yesharim, in Perek 11 under the trait of nekiyus, refers to gazing at women as zenus b’einayim—an inappropriate visual connection. Whether intended or not, a connection has been created, for which she will bear responsibility. When she stands before the Beis Din shel Ma’alah, what will be said about the spiritual damage that resulted? What good has come from the unofficial beauty contests taking place in our communities in the name of “Kavod Shabbos” and “Bas Yisroel should look presentable”? Can anything be further from the truth? Why are the holiest among us, those who teach Torah to the next generation, confiding in the need to be on high spiritual guard from the lure of those who work within the confines of a yeshiva environment?

The confusion has reached a point that people no longer discern that our ultimate enemy- the Koach Hatumah, has donned a tallis and other forms of presentation that we instinctively associate with trust in truth, while in reality it is a mere smokescreen hiding the fire of spiritual destruction within.

As with the men, unfortunately, a significant portion of the women are also numbed and/or unreceptive to anything related to kedushah. For some, the very idea that their appearance affects men is the motivation itself. Others are being pressured, either directly or indirectly, by husbands who are members of the second group- to be turned into a trophy, akin to those in attendance of the seudah of Achashveirosh. Yet others are desperately trying to regain the attention of their own husbands, whose eyes are everywhere but on them. But we believe that there are many women ready to make real and practical changes. These women sense something is dramatically off and are only in line because they see no other option. Chazal teach that the Geulah from Mitzrayim came in the merit of the righteous women. The Gemara elaborates: at a time when the men had despaired and were disinterested in any connection, it was the women who bravely, at risk of ultimate rejection, inspired the continued building of Klal Yisroel.

May all those who take concrete and practical steps forward be zocheh to support and strengthen each other in true ahavas Hashem, and may that unity of kedushah bring the Shechinah into our midst, resulting in the building of countless Batei Yisroel in holiness and purity, and with it, the final redemption, speedily in our days. This letter was personally presented to major Poskim/Rabbanim who requested it be disseminated publicly. They said it is their hope that a true transition and major changes will take place.

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