interjection – so well said!
AZ – I think the jist your last post was excellent. I also think you beautifully stated the misunderstanding without realizing it. When you said that the sense of the thread was that paying the shadchan was an afterthought, I disagree wholeheartedly. Paying the shadchan is a halachic obligation and is necessary. The difficulty (some) posters were having was the attitudes of SOME of the shadchanim toward that process. Not paying the shadchan, the attitudes of SOME shadchanim regarding that process.