syag:
curious, do you plan on having your friends cook the food for the wedding and holding in the back yard?
I’m just suggesting, it’s all a matter of priorites.
if it was me, i’d much faster skimp on the caterer band flowers hall etc,
but do whatever i could to give my child the best chance to find a shidduch.
but that’s just me….
(I’m sure APY would simply have their child sit at home and not go on dates, because after all bas ploni l’ploni and Hashem is mizaveg zivugim. I have no doubt that APY does nothing for parnassah either, because we know that hashem arranges for our parnassah as well).
But for the rest of us mere mortals who understand our responsibilities to do our best within reason….
Sure i’d try word of mouth, but i’d also reach out to as many shadchanim as i could and i’d make them a very fair offer….
Syag- from some of what you write, it sounds like shadchanim owe it to the community to act in a certain way cater to certain kinds of girls, whom they should advocate for etc…
and i’m sorry to say, a shadchan really owes nothing to anyone (of course they must be honest) but i’m referring to in terms of whom they should try to set up etc…
we can’t have it both ways, treat them like dirt, take advantage of them , and then expect them to be at our beck and call, just because we want them to be at our beck and call.
That’s really all i’m trying to convey thru this thread.