Now THIS has got to be THE WORST:
Groinem’s father passed away one Shmini Atzeres while he was doing time in Otisville. The warden came to the beis tefila to break the bad news to Groinem but he wasn’t sure how to do it. The warden happened to arrive a moment or 2 before Yizkor.
When the gabbai called out: “OK, everyone who has both parents still alive please leave for Yizkor!” Groinem began to leave.
The warden blocked the door and said: “Where do you think you’re going, Groinem!”