moish, no guilt- trip here. mitzvos are between you and g-d. and when you are ready, you will do it. the gates to g-d are open 24/7. i’m an ffb. i also have a hard time to always daven properly . we are only human. but g-d gives us so many chances to come close to him. and what’s with the girly feeling stuff. it’s gr8 to talk. you are writting here and opening up to us about your feelings. continue and wer’e rooting for you!!
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