Reply To: YU Bochrim

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golfer
Participant

Hi concernedima!

Are you new at this? Or have you been through the shidduch system in all its wonder and glory a few times already?

One of the most important things to consider is- WHO is redting the shidduch?

If the shadchan has a brain and knows your daughter and knows the boy, then you don’t have to obsess over the finer points, like which yeshivas he attended. Presumably the shadchan knows them well enough to see that their Yiddishkeit, both in terms of hashkafa and practice, is compatible. And they’ll figure out the rest when they actually get a chance to speak to each other.

If the shadchan doesn’t know the parties well, you might want to be more careful. As a general rule, some yeshivas, especially some of the larger ones, have a more diverse student body than girls’ seminaries. If there are any questions you want to ask about the young man regarding his level of observance or what type of home and lifestyle he aspires to, ask his references, his Rabbayim or his friends. (Again, if there’s someone you can speak to who happens to know both the young man and your daughter, that would be most helpful.) Their answers will give you a lot more practical advice than the CR rating of his yeshiva.