SL:
The funny thing is, your comments about me have been far more personal than my comments about zahavasdad. You have accused me of using zdad “as target practice”, of “disregarding” him personally, and insinuated that I am motivated by “the yetzer hara”. (All of which I categorically deny, btw.) I accused zdad only of advancing an argument that he himself does not believe in (which I stand by).
Now, I must admit, I am somewhat tempted to throw your accusations right back at you. Perhaps I should accuse you of “using me as target practice because you understand all these comments to be attacks on people , and since you know for a fact you aren’t mistaken its almost an obligation; I think Hashem gives extra points for that”. Of being unable “to know the difference between disregarding information and disregarding the person giving it, in a way that turns my stomach”. To insinuate that you are not living up to what “i tell my children and students when they display these same behaviors; that we have an obligation to treat people respectfully because that’s what Hashem wants from us”. And of suggesting that “when pesach is over and the yetzer hora lessens his grip” on you then maybe, just maybe, you can be reasonable.
But I won’t.
Because even though I by no means appreciate you casting aspersions on my intentions, I am still able to recognize that you were not attempting to attack me personally. That you have a right to disagree with everything I say, and not have your comments misconstrued as “disregarding people”.
But I’d appreciate if that same favor was extended to me.
zahavasdad:
there is one individual who i would have a very differnet reaction to if it was un-moderated
I, for one, am glad that this site’s mods do indeed enforce some basic civility; it enables us (at least theoretically) to actually discuss issues instead of just calling each other names.
frumnotyeshivish:
Mw13- “the problem” isn’t that people don’t bruk. The problem per the op is that there are people using an important albeit silly minhag as an excuse or reason to hurt people.
No, that’s your spin on the OP. What the OP was actually dealing with was the possible inability of a person to eat by his in-laws due to differences in minhagim. Nobody is using any minhag to hurt anybody else, unless you buy zdad’s theory.
DY:
but if in-laws are so selfish that they won’t accommodate their children’s minhag, there’s a much deeper issue than gebrokts.
+1. I hope that most people consider having their children by them for yomtov is a higher priority than having matazah meal.