Sorry this is just a ramble and doesn’t make much sense to others…
Slowly, silently drifting apart
like the tide from on the beach
cannot see the little shifts
but with time see the breach
i feel like we are losing touch
a bit more every day
unpleasant silence, upsets
we seem off kilter in a way
i feel we’re both losing our
sensitivity to each others needs
treading on nerves we’d long ago
learned to detect and read
am i just not compatible
with a friend who is engaged?
too sensitive to be pushed off
do i unfairly get enraged?
I wonder if it’d be better
for us to take a short break
or only to talk twice a week
if it’d lessen the ache
it’d make for less hurt feelings
when it seems to keep going wrong
and it’d be a way to prepare for
not talking, in not too long
its not what i want, not at all
but this isn’t working well
we both don’t share our feelings, thots
won’t ask, won’t say, won’t tell
has it come down to walking
on eggshells with each other?
both scared to speak, then both get hurt
I cry beneath my cover
appointments, classes call
busy day and nite
sheitels, gowns, and kallah class
there is no break in sight
this wk coming, that week going
no schedule i can keep
at 2 am we’re on the phone
my body begs for sleep
but, no! I want to talk, to share
my day, and hear of hers
i cannot let the time dictate
our rants, our laughs, our words
i want to see her one more time
before her name is changed
but this does not anymore seem
so simple to arrange
i understand the urgentness
of things you have to do
if slots open, u go right then.
It must be done, it’s true
when u have work or class i know
for me you won’t be free
and things may pop up to be done
but …. can’t u schedule me?
We both want to see each other
who more, i don’t know.
can’t you book an evening off
to spend time with me, though?
If you don’t have the space or time
just tell me, that is fine
i won’t come til your shabbos kallah
won’t have your ear just mine
but that might have to be the way
this is a busy time
just tell me so, don’t let me hope
for u know thats a crime.