Syag, wow. That was written beautifully, and full of such obvious emotion. I am sorry for the pain you’ve gone through, and continue to go through, and I hope that by you writing about it here, it helps you and relieves the pain a little. I am not in any position to compare tragedies, so I won’t. All I will say is that it must be incredibly hard to have to deal with the loss of someone so close to you, and to have to move on in life. Of course, we can wish that the loss never happened , but if it did, then G-d knows it is meant to be that way. We must try to make the most of it, and focus on the good memories and use them to help ourselves grow. And looking at how you post, and how you deal with others here, I am confident that you are making your loved ones in heaven proud. Keep writing, keep the good memories, and I hope that G-d will replace all the pain with happiness.
I hope your day gets better, and I hope the next day is always better than the last.