SaysMe, i’m sorry you’re feeling so down ;( if you want the email addresses, perhaps go to soundcloud and type in middlepath for his email address and he has ours (some of ours anyway!)
Is there something you can do to cheer you up? Like listening to music (there’s some great ones on youtube if you listen there) , or draw, or bake, (or write?!) … perhaps you can give in some way, do something for someone else (babysit, visit, help out) , that gives MEANING and can be very worth it.
Perhaps you can try to lessen the PRESSURE of having an upbeat purim, as in, you try your best to do what you can to keep yourself cheerful, but if not – than that’s okay too. It’s very normal, we all have those sorts of times, (whether its purim, pesech, yom kipper, etc)
i’m thinking of you from my end (of the screen lol) and hoping you’re okay!
Remember: You can do it!!! You’ll get through this time, it WILL pass and you’ll hopefully be a better, happier, healthier person for it. Keep holding on!!!!