i went to a pirkei avos shiur this week, and the speaker threw in a side point off topic that was a meassage meant for me, and maybe someone else can get chizuk from it too. He said that being mesameach b’chelko does not only apply to physical things but also means to be happy with one’s current ruchniyus level. He explained, everyone is given unique and individual cicumstances in life, those he’s born with, his family, events, strengths and weaknesses. And not everyone is able to be on he same ruchniyus level, not everyone can connect as easily, not everyone has easy circumstances in life. And therefore to look at someone else and think, why cant i do chessed like him, why cant i daven like her, i wish i had such a easy time relating to Hashem would not make sense, because our inidivual lives affect our ruchniyus too. Of course we should strive and work to do our best and to always want to improve our ruchniyus but realize our level and connection right now is as individual as we are and dont compare your level to others. Work to grow, but dont put yourself down for where you are. Youre lower than u think u should be so grow but u are there, because thats where your life brought you and be content with that, while always yearnin to grow. Dont look down on yourself or see yourself as lacking.
i’m sure i’m not wordin this well, cuz it even sounds wrong to me, but the way he said it, the points he brought out, hit me strongly. I hope the message comes through, though my post isnt really so clear.