Slowgoing: “did not see anyone mentioning that a wife has the right to say “Ee Efshy B’Takonas Chachomim”, keep her own earnings and release the husband from supporting her. Admittedly, it’s not a good recipe for Shalom Bayis”
True. Also, not a good recipe for shalom bayis for her husband to act overly-domineering and controlling, using the fact that according to halacha the money belongs to him if she does not release him from supporting her. Also, not a good recipe for shalom bayis for a wife to spend money w/o discussing it with her husband…
Bottom Line: if you want shalom bayis, talk about the situation. Wives show respect for your husband, and husbands show respect for your wives, and shalom al yisrael! (I know – people who aren’t married make the best marriage counselors, and people who don’t have kids are the best at giving child-rearing advice :)!)