Slowgoing: I heard a story (not sure if I’m giving it over exactly right) about a couple who had some argument involving priorities of kibbud av v’eim vs.the wife listening to her husband (I don’t remember the details – if it had to do with the wife doing something for her parents, or the husband doing something for his parents). In any case, they went to the Rav and presented it as a technical halachic sheilah. He answered the question with the technical halachic answer and then told them that if they are asking such a question, they clearly need marriage therapy.
My point is the same one I made above. The technical halachos should guide us, but at the end of the day, we are talking about relationships, and these situations must be dealt with accordingly.