I am not a spokesman for NCSY, I’m just giving an example.
What I see from more modern high schools, that are not strict yeshivos, their students do quite well, in a Torah setting, which allows them to be who they are and without the guilt and pressure of a strict, orthodox, frum yeshiva does. Sometimes, being in the wrong yeshiva can kill a person, mentally. If a person all day feels he is being pressured to do something that he can’t stand doing, then the person will come to resent it.
A bochur in yeshiva who thinks learning all day and wearing a black hat is too hard for him, should be switched to a much lower scale yeshiva, where it’s a Torah setting in a more relaxed way. One’s kid does not have to be the ULTRA-ORTHODOX- BLACK HATTER kid. We would like for our kids to be such, but if they can’t handle the pressure, then a parent should be careful pushing it on him. Allow him space. Give him room. When you allow him to do the things he feels he needs to do, yet you let him know that you, as his parents, are 100% okay with it, he will remain a Ben-Torah, no matter what life throws at him and what he will try. The point is, you have to trust his instincts. Don’t push any agenda onto him that he doesn’t like, or won’t accept- right now. Give him time, and his space. That is the key. He will return on his own.