Thanks for all the suggestions, but unfortunately, the situation has deteriorated badly. My son quit Yeshiva and left to be with his chevra.
Now, what do I do…………………..?
BS”D
I have put some thought into the off the derech “crisis”, and have what you might believe is an “unorthodox” idea.
The Amish have a concept called “Rumspringa”, where a teen “goes off the derech” and tries out other cultures. They can then decide what is best for them (similar to Yisro, who tries all Avodah Zara before he settled that Avodas Hashem is correct).
Teens are not brought up to be, and if fact are not deemed capable of making the correct decision, that is why we do not allow teens to marry, drink, smoke, etc. They are not Bar Onshim until 20 (hypothetically two years into being married). Even Chazal understand that even though they are mechuyav in Mitzvos, Hashem gives teens a “grace period” to find themselves and seek their path to Avodas Hashem.
In your position (which I am not, and do not fully comprehend), I would fully support my son’s quest to find himself, with the (internal) hope that this would be the best way to keep him connected to Yiddishkeit. I would also discuss (if possible) the idea of making no irrevocable changes (i.e. no Tattoos & no pregnancies). Your support will still mean much to your son, and if you are able to do so without judgement, you should still have him in your home and treat him as normal (judging him will just make things worse). Being teenage is just a stage of life, and almost all people grow out of it. He will Bezras Hashem decide the best way for him towards Avoda in due time, assuming he is not pushed off further.
Hatzlacha in all your endeavours.