WoW and Mom12: I am in no way trying to diminish your troubles or anything, but the priorities that sometimes leak through honestly disturb me. You both have sons who are going through extremely difficult times and who need support and help in many ways? Who cares what they wear??? Wouldn’t you rather they be attending a Yeshivah (or any program) and not wear black and white? Wouldn’t you rather they hung out with a crowd that respects Torah and learning even if they wear colored shirts? WoW, wouldn’t you rather he went to any program at all, regardless of what he wears? 1 hour of learning in a polo or t-shirt and jeans is worth more than an entire day of doing nothing or C”V worse, even if he does that in black and white.
I get that it’s very nice to have a community with an accepted mode of dress and being in that community can do some great things for the Yiddishkeit of the people in it. But these are your sons. Don’t lose sight of everything else in their lives solely because of the way they dress.