I believe that there can be some negotiation with the computer. It does not have to be all or nothing. Is he sharing his android with you? Do YOU get to use it at will? If not I don’t see any reason to hand over your personal item for him to use at his beck and call either.
So from a coaching perspective I would use negotiations. ” I understand that you want to use MY personal computer. I also understand that your new “device” is very important to you. My computer is as important to me as your device is to you. I am no more comfortable just handing it over to you than you would be handing over your personal device to me or any other member of the family, so how do we bridge this gap? What can you do to make me feel more comfortable about this? What solution can we both come up with that would work for both of us?”.
He needs your cooperation. He needs your computer. Let him think about it. In the end he will get what he needs, but let’s see if he can think his way through it instead of just demand it. Let’s see if he can come up with a solution/negotiation to make it work. You don’t have to be enemies.
The best solution is if you allow him to use it in the kitchen, for an hour or two at a time so he doesn’t usurp it and that he recognizes YOUR need to use your own device. Don’t minimize your own need. It is not up to him to decide whether or not you yourself need it or how much you need it.
Let him know your concerns, your own need for privacy and therefore he can’t take it into his room, because you have things on the computer that are not his business no matter how neutral or pareve it is it still is not his business. Just as he has a need for respect and privacy so do you and you don’t want that line crossed. On the other hand you can agree not to watch over his shoulder or comment on what he is doing as long as it doesn’t harm the computer itself. He should also agree not to do anything illegal where you can get blamed and be shut down and also remove anything he downloads so it doesn’t use up the space on the computer and slow it down. You should also agree that he must only download from safe sites and that you have an updated virus protector on the computer that he must also check to see it is up to date and running before he downloads anything.
In addition if he downloads anything that will make unwanted or questionable pop ups appear he will lose the privilege of he computer.
This really needs to be a serious discussion and negotiation. You really have to make a specific written agreement with him including the consequences making it very clear that if he chooses to break the agreement ( don’t use the word rules) then he will choose to lose the privilege. Be sure to reiterate that if he lent you his android under the same conditions and he saw it doing funny things after he specifically told you what not to do, he would not want to let you use it again. After all you love music don’t you? Wouldn’t it be nice to sit down in the kitchen for twenty minutes with your feet up and your eyes closed just listening to your music plugged into your ears?
Why can’t he download from his own android, doesn’t he have Internet ?