Reply To: Going off the Derech

Wandering Teen-It’s not a matter of love, we love our son no matter what. We’d also accept it if our son was modern, but he’s not. If it were merely an issue of him not following in our footsteps, but veering off a bit, we’d accept that too. If you’ve read the posts, you’d see it’s more like he fell into quicksand, but thinks he’s on steady ground. No parent can easily watch their child do something that will hurt them, or pull them into a bad direction. It’s not a matter of him rejecting an orthodox way of life. It’s a matter of him rejecting responsibility and direction, as well as Hashem. To stay out all night with a bunch of drop outs who are looking for action, doesn’t lend itself to success in life, religious or not.

BOND-thanks for writing. Did it help your son to come back? My son does see us davening, and he tells us not to waste our time. Thanks for your blessing, I hope it comes true!

here to help-I’m not saying ‘Twisted Parenting’ is not an option, only coming to NY is not an option. It is not financially nor logistically possible, given our situation. I’m hoping we can continue here…can we?

aries2756-I spoke to my husband about it, and he thinks that in a million years, the RY would never admit any wrong doing, let alone apologize to my son. It might have to come from us, but at a time when my son would be more receptive to hearing us. My son knows that we have always been on his side, and there were times when we wanted to go speak to the RY, but my son told us not to. He was always afraid it would make things worse for him in the long run.

The pain of all this does make a person feel very alone. It’s nice to know I can come here and feel support.