Hi WOW, ive been reading this post all summer and didnt want to comment till i finished.
I am also a teenager and you cannot imagine how painful it is to read your posts just getting more depressing by the week. First i want to say Hashem only gives nisyonos to ppl who can overcome them so that means you can. We dont know His reasoning but He has one, Rabbi YY Rubinstien has an amazing shuir on “Why Ba Things Happen to Good People.”
Second, i consider myself a teen who went off and came back on. No i didnt actually do anything drastic but i feel emotionally i was off the derech and just steps away from actually going off publiclly.
What saved me? I know ppl have said it quite a bit, but an appreciations. It has to come on its own. I never really hated Torah and Yiddishkiet i just didnt really care that much….
What happened? We had a speaker in school, and he was just different. He was hyserical yet inspiring, fun and full of life yet so full of knowledge, and best of all he has a Scottish accent!
I was obsessed and when i got a babysitting oppurtunity at a Shabbaton he was at i ran for it, though i didnnt care much about the speech part. And from there it just kept going up. I spoke to him. I was in another world! Seventh heaven!! And i just wanted to be close with him…so he gave me his email and later his phone numer. I started out with dumb question but then they started getting real.
I bought his book, just to say i did, never intending to read it. And then i did. And i realized the beauty of Torag, and he has anoter book! So i read it!!!! And guess what there are more books like that! And more rabbanim on Torah Anytime!
So from Feb 25 till today ive been climbing this mountain, day by day. It didnt happen overnight. I just finally deleted my non jewish music from my phone last week. Today i installed webchaver on my phone. A couple months ago i stopped talking to te guys.
It took a while but it only happened when i realized how much i love Torah and how beautiful Judaism is. That spark needs to be ignited and theres no way to do it for someone else. It has to come on its own and thats why its so hard for you, just watching this happen with nothing for you to do. I have friends who are really off and u get depressed talking to them. My friend told me she cant talk to me because shes scared to be inspired. See thats the problem, shes not looking for more so she wont get anymore. He has to open up to judaism amd from there it will get better. I get my story is a little weird but for evry peron the connection is different and it will come. From this thread i see how common it is to come back, so i guess he just has to go through this Hashem has His reasons.
I davened on rosh hashana for all our lost souls and hopefully Hashem will answer our tfillos.