When someone is in pain, others need to understand the sensitivity of the issues and how vulnerable a person can be. If an OP comes here for chizuk, the last thing a person needs to do is poke,prod and push. If you feel you can be helpful then do so in a sensitive manner. Pushing your point of view or agenda on a person who is stressed and feeling so much pain is NOT helpful.
In addition, if one is not being received as intended, then maybe it is the poster who should “bother” to read through the history of the thread to truly understand what the OP has already gone through, what questions she has already answered and what helped or didn’t. Coming into this conversation in the middle of a long thread without this history or back up knowledge can cause misunderstanding and frustration. You can also bring up old hurts and wounds that are already being worked on for resolution, and touch a nerve that is too sensitive for the poster to reveal.
Just because we want to try and help someone does NOT mean that we have the RIGHT to know everything or give them the third degree. A person will share whatever they are comfortable sharing. Playing at psychoanalyzing them with pointed questions and then some “insight” into why they are not answering them is counter productive and useless. If you choose to play at being a therapist then you need to learn how to react when your client clams up and shuts you down. The point being that no one HAS to offer help and the OP does not HAVE to engage in anyone who wants to play that game with her. She also should not be put into a position to defend her actions. How does that help?
I believe that when a person does a chessed such as give chizuk to someone in pain, they need to understand how that person needs that chessed. Whether or not she needs to be supported or whether or not she needs to be challenged. Jt is up to us to give them the Chessed they need in the manner that they need it or we aren’t really doing a chessed.