MsPrincess,
You wrote:
” im not asking for dating advice im asking how to do kiruv.”
” his the right one for me because….”
You contradict yourself. Are you looking to do kiruv or are you trying to date? Trying both at once won’t work. You can’t say I’m doing this for Hashem while feeling I’m doing this for me. He’ll see right through that and get turned off more. He’ll call that hypocrisy.
There are many who date (more often women) who think that they found the right person except for one thing or two. And they think they will change that person. The truth is what you see is what you get (WYSIWYG).