” I think that is over the top”
So is telling someone they lack chashivos to tsaddikim and gedolim. And inexcusable. And unfortunately giving mechila to someone would require them acknowledging what they did wrong, being remorseful and vowing not to repeat it so…well I guess Halacha isn’t on your side.
I don’t know you to know that ‘pas nisht’, but I can tell you that the minimum I would expect from someone in kiruv is patience, respect and a lack of such inexcusable personal insults.