eishis chayil, first I read the opening question and then what was at that time the last two comments before I posted my comments and so I commented about chinuch in general. Today I read all the comments from the beginning and see that I’ve missed your main question, which in your posts reveal that it’s not so much a question about chinuch but about how to punish for your children’s “crimes”. Btw, crimes is a terrible words to use. Criminals who belong in jail commit crimes, not children who are learning and growing and can sometimes misbehave.
Then I see someone posting that they know who you are. So I’m not sure if this is a troll thread or not because how in the world would that person know who you are and even post your first name if you did not give identifying details except that your mother punished you severely? I’m sure there exists more than one such a mother in the world…
But if this thread isn’t trolling then I must say that thinking your kids are commiting “crimes” is the first problem with your chinuch. They are simply misbehaving and you as a parent must GUIDE them in how to properly behave. I don’t agree that if a child doesn’t listen and runs into he street to not give them perch, those warning petch, which should be symbolic, not hitting so that it hurts, can save a life. Girls and boys over 12 and 13 years of age should absolutely not be hit. Girls generally do not have to be hit, except perhaps when they are really young and do dangerous things like run into the street despite you telling them not to. Boys also rarely need to hit but some boys are an exception exhibiting unruly behavior and bullying other siblings physically.
If a child is REALLY misbehaving or not listening to something important you are telling him, not for minor infractions, then discipline in most cases should be appropriately matched punishments like, for example, not coming on a trip, not getting nosh for Shabbos etc.
But it is most important thing is to build your children with positivity. Compliments, encourement, helping them develope their talents and helping believe in themselves is crucial.